Hey all.

Originally wanted to make it a long post.
Well, due to unforeseen circumstances,
I'll just Go With The Flow and see how far I can go.

Feeling freakin hungry now damn it.
Always feeling hungry damn easily in the middle of the night.

Okay so had a venture meeting today.
Went to did a logistics check with RW and Terry before that at NAS.
And played basketball after that too.
Had dinner at Mac.
Teppanyaki Grilled Chicken Burger or whatever it's called.
So that's about it today.

And Chandan's going to OGL camp.
Wow.
Now I'll have some work to do.
That's good.
Keep me busy instead of slacking and doing nothing all day.

Still feeling damn hungry.

And last night,
was one of the nights when I suddenly keep thinking about the past again.
I don't know but I'm just that kind of person who
can't the past go and just move on in life.
And while thinking back, everything just happened so fast.
This had been repeated dozens of times but yea because it's really so damn true.
I wonder what I had been doing in the last 2years of my sec sch life.
Pretty much the same as the first 2 years, slacking haha.
And for the last few months, studying.
But during those days there's also much happenings.
Like everyday there'll be some little things which happened,
be it good or bad, funny or whatever.
These are the things I'll keep hanging on and I'll think so much that
in the end I'll feel everything is like a dream.
Life is but a dream.
And I start to wonder how true is that.
Everything you experienced,
they just go past you.
Nothing ever comes back and we are just supposed to get on with life with whatever we have.
This is life man.
And I certainly should just stop thinking so much about life and just live life the way.... the way that every other living thing lives their lives.
We don't live to just think about the reason for living right?
That's call no life.
We live a life and we should get a life.
So to get a life... it can mean a lot of things.
Living life as you always wanted,
doing things you never thought of doing,
experiencing stuff which are out of the world for you etc.
Is that life?
I guess in the end it's still up to oneself to decide,
to decide what is really life.

Then again, it's not true that we always have to make a decision.
Maybe, we can just live our whole life without even giving a thought to what is life about.
So are you going to spend your life living and not knowing the reason?
Maybe, there don't need to be a reason.
Not everything needs a reason.
Again, it's just something for yourself to think about.

Memories.
They just play in your head sometimes and it's like watching a movie, a dream.
And for me, they can just come out of nowhere
and I'll start to think about all that had happened in the past and all that and more.
I feel like I should cherish whatever that had been given to me or whatever that had happened as long as it leave a lasting memory in my head.
Maybe not a lasting one, maybe just some small, short memory,
something that allows me to just be reminded of the past for a bit.
I don't know if this is sentimental or what,
but I had always liked to keep stuff.
Whatever the things are.
It doesn't really matter where they are from,
I've kept many things from the past,
and all these things may not even be useful or what.
People might think that they just take up space at home.
People might not keep them for even a few years.
I'm not sure why I keep stuff so much too.
I just like to keep them.
When I look at the things,
I'll just think back about the times and all that.
Although there may be some things which I'll never looked at,
or some things which I don't really had much memories of.
But it just happened.
It just happened at the point of time,
without thinking much, I'll just keep most of the things which I gotten from somewhere, anywhere.
Haha, and all these just resulted in my room being very messed up.
Many stuff are all around now.
But I still keep them.
I don't really tidy up my room that often and keep them together or what,
but I just know where the things are and
somehow I feel alright looking around my room and seeing all these at the usual places.
It'll be damn weird if one day everything which is so-called not use were to be gone from my room or just be kept in a box,
and everywhere is tidied up super neatly and cleaned up nicely.
Maybe that will give me more space hahaha,
but the... the indescribable feeling just won't be there anymore.

I feel like my hunger is half gone now.
That's bad.
Means the hunger is like going up to the extreme whereby you will slowly not feel hungry
and would lose the appetite even though deep inside your stomach is as empty as a whatever that's damn empty, like a dustbin without litter.

And I should sleep now.
By the way forgot to mentioned that there's training todayyesterday's morning too while blogging about yesterday's events.
Damn.
And that means I'm already awake for... 9am - 4am and that's a....
FREAKING total of 19hours.
Screwed up again.
Haiz.
Gotta sleep now or else my brain will spoil and get burnt into nothingness.






Byeall.

Hello.
Suddenly felt like blogging again,
though really nothing much happened over the past few days.

Spent most of the time rotting at home doing nothing,
either just watching tv or stoning in front of the com.
Had a meeting with Owl, Chandan and Terry last night too.
There sure is a lot of work for us to do now.
And other than scout work, there's still holiday homework.
Not like I really care about that though...
But maybe I should break my tradition of starting to do holiday homework a week before school starts.

Can you believe it.
Less than one and half a month away, we'll be in our last year of JC life.

And going to J2 means less time for everything else.
Everything.
I don't know how am I going to manage my time and studies next year,
and I don't really give a thought about it.
Even if I do, I won't follow any plans I made so it doesn't really matter haha..

Don't think I'll be going out anytime soon except for trainings or scout stuff.
Or perhaps not even going out for the whole holidays.
Maybe in that case I'll just stay at home and be a good boy and study (=




Byeall.

Phew finally STC is over.
Handling cub scouts is sure a tough job man.

And luckily I was able to shoot in the 2nd detail and sleep an hour more lol.
Finally reached home at 5am from camp yesterday.
Slept for 3hours+ before going training,
guess at least that's better than some of the rest who went sch/work without sleeping much.

And after training I don't feel that tired already.
Ate lunch and went to bath then on the com.
But got attracted to the bed in the end and i stayed there till 11plus haha.
So now here I am.
Should be going to sleep soon though.

Not really sure what's up next for me.
Just know that there'll be several camps coming up in Dec.
And of course more trainings.

Shall continue blogging the next time.
Can't really think of anything to blog now.




Byeall.

Hello.

Tmr going training in the morning,
then I'll be off to Sarimbun again in the afternoon.
This time it's for STC.

Nothing much to talk about it though.
Just organizing a camp for the cub scouts.
Somehow felt damn sian since I woke up this evening.
Haha guess it's always the same for camps and courses.
Should be able to enjoy it after I get there tomorrow.

And so I spent today's afternoon sleeping.
Went to play ball in the morning alone lol.
Bad timing.
Sun was just getting hot.
But the clouds came after that, just when I was about to leave.

I'll only be back by Sunday night I guess.
And that's 'cause there'll be internal grading next Monday.
Doesn't really matter if I just use the cocking gun instead of compressed air though.
So used to using the cocking gun already anw.

And after that will be more trainings and planning to do.
More camps coming up.
Counted the number of completely free days in December.
And according to my schedule there's only around 7days.

Am I going to spent that 7days usefully?
In other words, achieving high academic efficiency.
I hope so but I bet not.

Rahhh.
Feels like everything is in a mess now.
And by everything I really mean EVERYTHING,
and by in a mess it's really in a complete mess.
And that just makes me more sian.

Really don't know what else to say already.

And after all this busy schedule it'll be J2 life next year.

1 year later it'll be our turn.

There's still so many things to do.

Am I really going to finish my JC life, look back and tell myself that I had not accomplish anything?
That's up to myself anyway.





Byeall.

Wow been almost 2wks since I last blogged.
Guess it's because of lazy+busy.
But OP's finally over.
PW's finally over.
And like what people say,
maybe now is the time when we'll look back and think how hard we worked for it and all those days of staying back just to do PW and missing the times.

Well isn't that always the case.
It's the same for anything, school, CCA, camps etc.
We'll always go to camps/courses thinking how boring it'll be and maybe complaining,
but after evrything's over we'll look back and realize how much fun we all had.
Haha.

'Cause it's finally over.

No feeling of excitement or joy after OP.
Just felt kinda relieved.
Didn't really know what to do now that there's nothing to do.
And the only thing I really wanna do is to play basketball.
Can't find a good chance or people to play with though.
Maybe when we're back to school there'll be more chances.
And hopefully to play with the basketball team people again...
Haha much more fun than playing with the other class.

So have been doing nothing.
Maybe playing, getting bored, and playing again, and getting bored again.
Should have came up a list of things to do lol.
At least I'll know what I can or want to do and would do them when I have the time, like now.

Somehow I feel different blogging now.
Weird.

More venturing stuff coming up.
Well, and guess what, the next one's this Sat.
VRC.
And many more camps and stuff to come.
Same with air pistol trainings.
Hope I'll still make use of the remaining free time efficiently to revise my work.
At least I won't need to have fun at the PEAK performance workshop next Mon haha.

So JC1 is coming to an end.
1 more year and it's our turn for A levels.
Haha.
1 year ago we just finished our O levels.
What's this man.
Feel like soon few more years will come to pass,
and we'll all be in our 20s.
Wonder why I'll always think of the future when it's not even close lol.

And at times I'll just really live in the present and not care about anything else.
Should do that more.

Okay shall stop here.
And by the way, Happy Birthday Terry, though I'm 99% sure you don't read my blog.

Goodnight everyone.
And have a good day and enjoy what's remaning of 2009.




Byeall.

And it's already November now.

Less than 2 weeks to the end of PW.
I guess almost everyone's looking forward to it.

But as with many other times,
I don't feel any drive for doing anything at this moment.
Somehow that feeling always comes when I do not know what to do.
And I don't find out what to do too.

I guess this is me.
Lazy. A slacker for life.

And the only thing I can probably do is,
just to be me.

To believe that things always work out eventually.

Anw, good luck to everyone taking Chinese A level tomorrow.

Well the rest of us still have to be back in school for PW though.
Presenting to ST again.
Haven't even got the script ready due to some sort of communications breakdown.
And then I was just too lazy to do it already.
Stopped after first paragraph of I&R.
And I don't really recall what else did I do other than stoning and thinking
and keep on thinking about this and that.

Btw, slept at 9plus on Friday and woke up 12pm on Saturday.
And I felt like I wasted an extremely huge amount of time.
That's 15hours of sleep. Wtheck.

Not like I'll be given a lot of chances to do that anyways.

It's goin 12am now.
Next week will be OP week.
The week after next is actual OP.
Weeks after next I will slack all the way.
Months after that I'll still be slacking.
But I should really study for MCT next year.

What else can I say.
Got really lousy results.
Some of which were outunder my expectations.
Still got promoted anyway.
At least now I have a deeper understanding about studying for A levels.
There will be more topics to cover next year though.
Maybe I should stop using the word 'study'.
In fact it's just reading notes.
Should really tidy up my notes and my room already.
Everything is in a mess.
Including my brain.
12am. Time to go.




Byeall.

WR is due on Friday.
Finally.
And all is left with OP and I&R which I completely haven't start on.

Was in a really foul mood.
Since. Don't know when.
Maybe Monday.
After I saw my full of crap results.
Maybe yesterday.
'Cause we stayed back till 8 for 2 days already and I reached home later than 8.30 and my com is screwed it now takes freakin a long time to start up and all that.

Maybe today.

'Cause it's Wednesday.


Still, it's a good thing that we worked so hard for WR.
It'll be an even better thing when we see an A rewarded for our efforts.


One more month till holidays.
Holidays filled with holidays homework.
Trainings.
Venturing.
Let's change the topic.

One more month till holidays.
So we'll now work extremely hard for the next one week or so for OP,
and of course I myself would like to start on I&R ASAP.
Wonder how would life be like after OP.
I bet it'll be mugging days for A level.

Then again, nah.
I bet it'll be slacking days of me doing nothing literally everyday except for slacking around and doing nothing.
Doing nothing except for doing nothing.
That's still doing nothing.

And these frequent pissing off and losing of tempers are really bad.
Really really bad.
Screw it.

If no one else gives a damn, damn it.

Should be going off to sleep now.
It's like really kinda late and there's still crazy PW going on tomorrow.
OP rehearsal tomorrow again.
Am so tired of reading the same stuff over and over again already.
So tired of everything.






Byeall.

It's time to go back school again tomorrow.
It's gonna be freakin pw all the way from now on.
And I didn't even enjoy as much after promos ended,
'cause whatever I gonna do I would suddenly thought of pw.
It's like stuck in my head but I have no mood to do anything about it either.
What a screwed up thing to happen.

So now I am here just feeling sian over and over again and seeing the time slowly flying away from me.
WR is due in less than 2wks and ours is still so screwed.
Haiz.
OP is in less than a month's time.
Damn.
And after that there's a few weeks of school then it's holidays.
Holidays.
Can't really call them holidays when we're all still gonna get busy.
Trainings, venturing, maybe school work...
It's just like normal schooldays without going to school.

It feels like 2years of my life just gonna just vanish.
It's not like I've not done anything throughout the year,
but it just goes by so fast that I can't find time to stop and think.

Suddenly I feel like stopping here.
Shall continue blogging the next time.
Good luck everyone.




Byeall.