We all journey towards the end; but in the end it is the journey that matters.

Keep that faith.

2012-01-29T18:58:00.003+08:00

Been so long since the last post.
And we are already heading into the second month of 2012.

Chinese New Year was over.
A good break for us from camp.
Though it didn't pretty much felt like a Chinese New Year to me.

PTP's ending this Wednesday.
And most of us won't even be there thanks to ASM and BSM COC parade.
BMT's starting soon and I hope we will all be able to get through this without much problems.
The recruits are finally gonna experience the life of a soldier.
And things will get tougher, both for them, and for us of course.
And once they finally POP, it's into the next stage of unknown.

Got past my 4 guard duties in 10days.
Celebrated CNY in camp before we all booked out to celebrate it with our families.
Booked back in with less than two weeks of PTP remaining.

And although the overall passing rate of IPPT for our coy is not bad,
I wouldn't say the same for our platoon.
Well hopefully we can push more of them to pass their IPPT,
as well as producing more Gold at the same time.
I'll definitely have to work hard too, especially for my running which is probably freakin' cui by now.

Heading into February, there isn't much I can say that I'm looking forward to.
Life's still more or less the same, taking one step at a time,
making sure that we don't make any wrong move.
Ten months left and we'll be free.
Not too long, not exactly short either, can only give our best while we're at it.
The few weeks surrounding field camp just gonna be hell,
hopefully we can still find joy in midst of suffering together in Tekong, or just in camp.

Sometimes, I believe, in each of us, we do doubt what we are doing.
Well, for most of us at least, that's what I think.
And that's the time you need to think back and reflect, the reason you were doing what you were doing in the first place.
Sometimes you might realized you did something out of a foolish reason, then at least you get to learn something out of it and not commit the same mistake.
If you realized that you actually had a valid reason for doing something, then keep the faith and trust your decision till the end.

At certain point of time, you might lose yourself, forgetting your goals and aims, or even get depleted of any motivation you might previously possess.
And when this happens, just trace back your actions,
gather your thoughts and think about what led you here in the first place.
As long as you can regain that belief and the motivation which once pushed you so hard and so far,
I guess you can already carry on for quite a while more.

We all can easily lose sight of where we are anytime, anywhere,
but the most important thing is just to remember where you are coming from.

If you can think of just one reason to keep you going,
nothing will be able to stop you until you get to where you wanted to go.

Dinner soon and booking-in tonight again, for the next two weeks most probably.

Byeall.

The time you have, the time you lost.

2012-01-08T01:33:00.004+08:00

First week into 2012.
Not much difference.

Perhaps it's because life still goes on for us in NS no matter what happens.

Inter-Formation Air Weapons Competition finally over.
Shot just 524.
Didn't perform again.
Sigh.
I might have just be able to get into the top 8 finals if I were to shoot 54x or even 53x.
After all I shot 550 once if I can do it once why not again,
there's even a 5 in one of the series anyway.
Anyway 3rd Div supposedly got 6th, an improvement from the 9th place last year.
And congrats to Chester for getting 1st in Air Rifle Men Finals.
Other than these, it just leaves me wondering when will be the next time I get to shoot again.

Haven't done anything ever since I got home this morning after guard duty.
Rested a bit, and used comp all the way without even trying to do anything constructive.
Feel so tired lazy and can't be bothered to do anything else when I'm in this mess of shit.
Already booking in tomorrow by 7plus and it's gonna be another weekend guard again,
with two throughout the week somemore.
So the Friday guard duty basically just started my guard duty streak of once per four days from now on until the one on Sunday.

Chinese New Year coming real soon.
Just two weeks away damn.
Don't think I'll even have time to do anything about it.
And the long weekend might just be the best one now that book-out time is so precious.
Hope that I don't just spend the time resting sleeping etc though.

Getting kinda late now.
Shall try to catch some rest and then it's gonna be another long week ahead.
Time gonna fly though,
and so we better cherish what we have at the moment.

Byeall.

More to come, long way to go.

2012-01-01T23:28:00.002+08:00

First day of 2012.

Didn't blog on the very last day of 2011 like I always do.

Didn't even blog as much in 2011 as I always do.

2011 had been a year of randomness.

Changes.

Learning.

Growing.

2011 is finally the first year I didn't spend in a school.

A normal school where I get educated that is.

Finally enlistment into National Service for me,

and what a gigantic change in lifestyle that is.

In just one year, so many things had happened.

From BMT to BSLC, then to ASLC and finally passing out and getting posted here.

Meeting people from everywhere, finding common points between us and also differences.

Glad that I had a great BMT company and section to start with,

and as I progressed on I met many others along the way.

Some of them stayed with me, some of them left.

This is just life.

Not just in NS, but in my past 10+ years of schooling as well.

And until now I'm the only infantry specialist from my BMT platoon.

Been a long way man.

And we're all halfway there.

The officers in our batch finally commissioning soon.

And entering this year we're left with 11months.

From then on it's a new chapter of our lives once again.

Really nothing much to blog about for last year,

as my life had been completely thrown into NS, and nothing else.

Of course, many things had happened through the year too.

And reading my previous posts should give me a good idea of how much I'd changed.

And how much the world had changed.

For this year, I just hope for myself and the world to change for the better.

And that we will all have a good and safe year ahead.

Let's all work hard together.

For there are still more to come, and a long long way to go.

Byeall.

Moments.

2011-12-30T22:22:00.002+08:00

And after another guard duty on book-out day yesterday,
we're left with just two days in year 2011.
Left with one day now.

Nothing seems to be changing.

What have I accomplished this year?

Have I achieved any goals set out by myself?

Did I change to be a better person?

Many more questions which no one will be able to answer definitely.

And then there comes the next bunch of questions for the upcoming year.

Another year gone, another to go.

Will 2o12 be tougher, easier, longer, or shorter than 2011?
Only time will tell.
And by this time next year, life's probably gonna be much much more different once again.

Byeall.

Repetitive cycles.

2011-12-25T22:20:00.002+08:00

So our two weeks confinement is finally over,

ended with a guard duty on Christmas Eve.

Welcomed our newly enlisted recruits to PTP,

and also tasted the life of being sergeants for the first time.

Dealing with men, training them, teaching them, leading them.

Much had happened in just two weeks and there's still more to come.

Dealing with people not just include the recruits,

but fellow commanders and higher-ups as well.

And now the year is left with mere one week,

with Chinese New Year less than even a month away.

Everything's just going so fast from now on.
And hopefully it stays this way until a year later,

if not then we might as well try to take things slow.

Attended three more training sessions during confinement.

And the very last one was on 21st Dec '11.

A memorable one, at least in my shooting career so far.

Attaining a score of 550 for the first time is seriously a great deal for me.

Considering I started shooting just two years ago, stopped after training for a year only,

taking up again a year and a half later to realize I've somehow improved,

and in just a few training sessions managed to improve my personal best to 550,

using different and unfamiliar guns instead of a personal weapon,

blah blah blah.

Trying to make it sound like a miracle or that I could've or can do better in the future.

But yes indeed it is something big.

At least to me.

I don't even know how many chances to shoot I'll have after the competition in Jan,

but at least in the future when I stopped shooting for good,

I can tell myself that I once shot 550, not amazingly good but still somehow amazing considering all the factors listed above.

Of course, once I had shot 550 I'll not be just aiming for that the next time I shoot.

And that is to prove that it wasn't just a fluke too.

I don't know if I'll continue shooting in the future or not,

but it's another great sport I took up along the way and however short

my shooting career may be, I'll never forget about it,

with this 550 being the highlight. For now.

And now it's a good break until Tues night for me.

Short week next week, but another guard duty for me before I get to enjoy the long weekend again.

Then it's New Year already.

How fast can it get.

2012 is finally coming.

For now let's just treasure whatever's left of 2011 and finish up all the things we promised ourselves to do in this year.

Byeall.

Not much longer.

2011-11-30T22:56:00.002+08:00

30th November 2011.

And we're already entering the last month of year 2011.
How fast is that.

Same feeling every year.

Same thoughts.

But at the same time so many things had changed in the past year.

Training last Friday was alright.

Watched Puss in Boots last week too.

Chandan finally went to Brunei to find Andrew Sir.

Block leave ended with me not doing anything much constructive.

Only booked in yesterday afternoon to prepare for guard duty at night.

Was so 'warmly welcomed' by everyone who had not seen me for more than a week already.

Shagged out after guard duty, then booked out today afternoon again for training.

Did okay for training though, back to averaging around 528.

Should I say that I'm consistent or what?

But the time I dropped to 519, I shot 518 three times in a row before improving again.

And even though the total score seems consistent,

there had been many screwed ups in my series.

I can shoot 87, 88 etc for one competition,

then when I try again I might go up to 92 but also with series as low as 84.

Shot 93 for a series for the first time today.

Twice.

And also shot 84, 85, 86 for three of the series.

Doesn't make sense that you can shoot so much worse for one series when you just finished shooting so well for another one right?

Well things just happens and it's all in ourselves to control them actually.

Shooting is a sport I can say that I'm interested in,

but I can't think of any traits within me which fits it at all.

With low amount of patience and pure laziness,

I think shooting almost totally contradict with me as a person.

Experience tells me though, that, if you really do want to do well at something,

or desire a certain thing that much, you will somehow be motivated enough to work hard for it.

Work freaking hard for it.

If that does not happen it just means that you are not wanting it strong enough.

If that happens, I don't think there's any obstacles that can stop you in your way anymore.

If you truly want something, go work for it.

Not many training sessions left actually.

And considering the fact that we won't get to shoot for two weeks before the competition,

we can already see how screwed up it is gonna be.

And we still haven't seen the official rules for this competition yet.

Got a certain weird format for this shoot.

And with our men enlisting next Thursday, I don't even know if I can participate in any of the December training sessions.

Hope our CSM is nice enough though.

He should be.

Right?

Shall try to rest up tonight since there's a full day of training tomorrow.

Gotta try to maintain my consistency and

at the same time correct all my mistakes in order to improve further.

Other than that, it's another off day on Fri and I'll only be booking in again on Mon morning.

Guard duty again next Tues and also another training.

Haven't spoke to CSM about December training but then again

that's because I haven't actually seen him for so long already.

Well let's just take one step at a time.

We are all in one way or another all worried about next Thursday anyway.

But then again, what can we do?

Shall just try to settle myself down in my new bunk quickly first.

My bunk which I'll be staying for the next one year until I ORD.

And other than these, with one month left in 2011,

I hope that everyone else and I would be able to complete what we set out to accomplish at the start of the year.

Your New Year Resolutions or any wishes remaining to be fulfilled.

Good luck people and let's look forward to the much feared year 2012 soon.

Byeall.

Holiday-like.

2011-11-22T23:57:00.002+08:00

Been around two weeks already.

The first two weeks after UIP finally ended for us.
The first two weeks we spent at our very own company where we will stay for our next one year or so.

So I'm in Bravo Coy now, Platoon 5.

Quite a bit happened in the past two weeks,

then again it seemed like it's just 14days and all of that just occurred not long ago.

Anyway the weekend after UIP ended was a long weekend.

So on the following week, I went for training on Tues instead of booking in.

Due to Bravo having TBTL on Wed morning at Changi,

I went home straight after that and traveled to Changi on Wed for TBTL.

It's another night at home followed by one more day of training.

And then it's finally book-in time for me to spend my first night at Bravo.

After another full day of area cleaning and stuff,

we had our first guard duty.

The following week was quite a long one,

considering the fact that we are doing the same thing every day -- AREA CLEANING.

And also beautifying our coy line....

Supposed to have home visit programme on Thurs, but it was cancelled.

So all of us went for 3rd Div Sports Day on Thurs then booked out from there.

Went for training again on Fri, sorta deproved that day somehow.

And I'll be having training for the next three days,

hopefully can pull my score up to average around 9.0 and that'll be good enough I guess.

Had guard duty again on Sun.

Fortunately it rained for quite a while in the afternoon so I get to skip one shift or prowling.

The rain evolved into a storm and got quite scary though.

Came back home on Mon morning shagged out and slept for at least 5hours.

Did nothing much for the past two days.

And when I think about the training for next three days,

I realize the block leave can end before I even know it....

Shall try to do what I need to do and what I want to do by then.

The good thing is that I still don't have to book in until the week the men enlist,

except that there's guard duty next Tues for me again.

Shall end here and rest soon.

Tomorrow's another full day of training for me to shoot.

Byeall.

After which...

2011-11-07T22:30:00.002+08:00

Must try to make myself blog no matter how lazy I am.

So yesterday was Hari Raya Haji, and thus here I am still at home at this time.

Ohh and tomorrow morning it's not book in to Amoy Quee,

it's finally back to shooting at SAFRA Yishun.

Quite glad that I'm able to shoot again after so so so long.

I'm probably almost as bad as I just started air pistol though,

after such a long period of time not training on it.

Hope that I'll still be able to remember what coach taught us in that one year or so then,

because even with such a little amount of experience,

I actually quite like air pistol as a sport.

The past week was finally the last week of UIP.

Had our Skills at Arms challenge on Tuesday.

And our section won the best in Skills at Arms!

I think I didn't do much at all but well that's all part of the plans man,

perhaps if I was the one taking one of the IBOS test we wouldn't have won it already hahah.

Well and that marks the end of all the training we had throughout UIP,

and also the last few days spent together as a section.

6 of us all went Bravo though, and glad to say that I'm one of them.

Went back to TJ to play ball for quite a while on Sat.

Alumni gathering seems like a fail but well,

I guess it's more for those who had graduated ages ago before my batch.

So for them it's probably a good time to get together again in the school they left long ago.

Other than these, nothing much really.

Went to Thomas' house on Fri straight after bookout for BBQ and chilling out.

Super super big and nice house.

Had a great time with my UIP platoon 3 mates,

with Jotham getting extremely drunk and hilarious after drinking just a lil bit.

First time seeing someone getting so drunk though.

Shall start packing on my stuff soon.

It's really getting quite late already and I probably should

settle my stuff to bring soon and get to bed.

Byeall.

A systematic approach.

2011-10-30T17:50:00.002+08:00

It's been a long long three weeks since I last blogged.

Very very long indeed.

So much had happened that I don't even bother remembering what exactly happened.

UIP is finally coming to an end with a week left.

This is however just the beginning as we will finally be heading to our own company

in preparation for PTP which commences on 8th December.

Been eating a lot for the past week.

First Pizza Hut on Tues night in 'celebration of Deepavali'.

Then Swensen's on the next day for lunch and KFC for dinner.

Had Macs for dinner on Friday night and then pizza again last night.

Super fulfilling week for my stomach it seems,

but not so much for myself who was trying to improve my fitness.

Been heading to the cinemas a lot a lot this year too,

especially ever since I enlisted.

Possibly more so than the total number of times I've entered the cinema before this year.

And with the end of year coming, more films will be released

and possibly I'll continue watching one movie almost every week.

Went to play ball this morning.

Been quite a while since everyone played together.

Quite a long while.

Shall be looking forward to the next time we all get to play ball together again.

Wondering if I'll be going the TJ alumni reunion thingy next week though.

Well at least we'll get a 3days weekend break after the next five days.

These five days are still gonna be quite shit though.

Two days of PT commander training.

Wow.

And then the Skills of Arms test on Tues.

It's just totally insane.

I don't know who is going to get the top three,

but I know it's certainly not me so I don't see a reason to even try hard.

I think I still won't be the last even if I slack throughout the whole thing though.

Shall see how it goes then.

Hopefully for the whole of this week we'll have the nights to ourselves.

Then I can rest up enough or enjoy myself with the TV or whatever.

Few more hours to booking in again.

I just hope life doesn't change too much after this week.

Well even if it's for the better, too fast a change is never good.

NAS had a pre NPC camp over the weekends.

Went back to take a look after I booked out on Fri with RW,

and then back again yesterday with our three batches of scouts and all the leaders.

Well can't do no shit since we're in army....

But the situation seems really worrying.

One more year.

Then I'll finally get to enjoy my freedom again.

At least for eight months.

Then it's school life yet again, the feeling of going school is already so distant to me.

All this should just end soon.

Byeall.

Training never ends.

2011-10-09T22:00:00.002+08:00

Just realized that I forgotten to put a title on the previous post.

Well not that it matters a lot anyway...

Wasn't able to watch a movie at home this week,

but well at least I still caught one in the cinema with suting gy chandan pan kenny last night.

Went to Chomp Chomp for dinner and cam back to tmall for Real Steel.

First time bringing my friends there, been a long time since I went there too.

Damn long time.

Real Steel was alright, wasn't as bad as I though it would be.

Was wondering why so many people were interested in the show,

while it just looks like a typical robot fighting action effects kinda show without much of a story.

At least it had some sort of a meaningful story line behind it,

but it seems like the others were a lil disappointed by the movie.

Well this is perceptions, like I always said.

Different people have different standards and point of views at different things.

And while some talk as if their mighty opinions are the only and truly right and correct one in the world,

and how much that had pissed me off in several occasions,

I can only show my understanding of perceptions and how it works,

forgiving those who don't understand that they are not the only world living on this damned world.

Well that was like a recurring topic in my blog I think,

too bad that there are just some things people have to be reminded of,

and I myself like to remind myself of.

To be honest I am quite stubborn on certain views of mine on things too,

and well that's just me so I'll just have to continue seeing the world in my own way,

and people around me have to just bear with me.

Went to play ball this morning.

Seems like my knees won't fully recover, at least for now,

but won't hurt to the extent which immobilizes me too.

Shall see what might happen next first.

Other than that there's nothing much.

Past week went away slightly faster than the previous one,

but was still somewhat shit.

We only got saved when we were told that we would be going for IPSC from Thurs to next Thurs.

And the camp is truly a heaven.

Sigh.

Now I can really conclude that we are seriously at the worst possible place.

And why must it be me?

I don't know man maybe life's just not fair at all.

Seeing all my section mates leaving me for every other vocations with me alone staying as infantry,

then now a few even getting admin jobs and service medic while I'm in unit.

If that's not call extreme lack of luck then I don't know what is.

Suck thumb is the only thing I can think of.

And after this week we will be sent back to hell hole once more...

Shall end the post here for now and possibly prepare a lil for tomorrow.

Nothing much to pack though.

And I should really start training more and more to keep fit.

Can't gain too much weight if not they will all turn to fats,

gotta gain as much muscles as possible first man.

And I was really getting weaker everywhere since Taiwan and shingles.

Aside from my stamina, hopefully I'll be able to train up the rest

to a certain standard before the end of this year.

On a side note, Bruce Lee is really a crazy guy.

The amount of training he does to attain his level of fitness is insane.

And the speed of his kicks is just..... incredible.

Not like I gonna train to be like him,

'cause having the strength of a giant yet the physique of a normal person sounds good enough.

Starting to gain weight again with not even two weeks in the new camp.

Another conclusion made: food in PLC cookhouse 3 is really the worst possible food you can get anywhere.

Gotta not gain so much weight before I train myself up first.

Still, I won't stop eating supper.

Weird that eating supper daily/regularly doesn't make me fat though.

But well can't sleep on an empty stomach, not much choice there right.

Shall wait for my supper to come back now. (:

Byeall.

2011-10-02T02:23:00.002+08:00

So it's Sunday again.
The day we all hate.

And the past week felt just so damn long.
Perhaps comparable to the two weeks during BMT.
Just somehow, it felt damn long.
But here I am finally at home again, typing in front of my com at just before 3am.

First week at 2SIR wasn't exactly the best place I could had spent my last week at,
but apparently it's not like any of us had a choice.
Then again I really wonder if someone made it damn clear that they don't want to be there, what would they do?
Keeping someone who does not desire to be there will not exactly make the situation any better right.
Well I am not that someone who can voice out for sure 120% I do not want to be there though...
At least on paper now it seems that life would still be fine as the schedule currently still seems empty enough.
Training the men from Dec to Jun then training WITH them from then onwards,
along with a bunch of other random stuff to take care of.
Doesn't sound exactly that bad right...
At least better than going for countless exercise, local or overseas,
getting yourself shagged out every now and then.

Anyway still have a full month of UIP to go.
We will still be treated like recruits until this ends I guess.
Though I certainly hope that they stop doing this by this week.

The past week also felt so long perhaps because of thousand of thoughts going through my head every single day.
Thinking so much about how I should live my life the way I want it,
and then wondering what defines that, in which way do I want to live,
and then thinking how, why, questions just don't stop appearing,
and answers don't seem to exist at all.

I guess making a difference in your own life, is just as hard as making a difference in the world.
And if either one appears to be easy for you, it just mean that you had probably found the answer you had been looking for, and you had found yourself.

Suddenly wondered about what I gonna study in Uni too.
For now of course I'm still interested in Psychology.
Very interested indeed.
But then again, I'll never know what's best for me because there really isn't something call 'best'.
Still two more chances to apply, I'll just see how it goes for me till then and hopefully by then I'll be able to pick a course which appeals to me the most.

Finally watched 恋爱通告 by 王力宏, which was out for more than a year already.
Think I will continue watching one movie which I've missed in the past for every book-out.
Really nice show and perhaps I can start to think what show I should watch for next week already.
But before that, I think I'll need some rest now and hope I'll be able to do whatever I want and need to tomorrow, before booking in again at night.
The camp's really not much closer and the time needed to travel is quite long too.

Good luck to the commandos going to Brunei.
And to myself, the knee better not hurt much again and I'll probably report sick only after UIP since everything in UIP is important and I already failed to report sick twice or thrice.
Well but if it's really bad I not gonna freakin' do nothing about it, it's just that at least it doesn't hurt now when I'm not running or exerting force on my knee.

Rest well people.
We've got another tough week ahead.

Byeall.

When September ends.

2011-09-24T20:36:00.002+08:00

And it's already the last week of September 2011.
Stepping into the third last month of the year,
I had finally graduated as a Third Sergeant on 23rd Sept '11 with my friends,
be it those from Foundation who I finally met after they got posted out,
or those who chiong sua-ed with me for the past three months in Pro Term and in Taiwan.

Officially a Third Sergeant now.

Got posted to 2SIR while most of the rest will be going to BMTC.
Some will be staying as Faculty Team, some got better postings such as admin spec, NCC, and some who are worse will be trainees again as they get posted to recce battalion.
Well this kinda sucks as I am never someone who likes changes.
Especially drastic changes in short period of time.
Not that I cannot adapt, but that I prefer not to do so in a new environment.

Still unknown of what challenges wait ahead of me,
but nothing I can do as we are all required to report to our new camps on Monday.
No choice now, just suck thumb.
That's just another valuable but retarded lesson learnt by many of us in army.

And for the next fourteen months,
somehow I think they will just past by quickly.
Perhaps even faster than the last eight months.
One third through my NS life,
and it's just a year and two months left.
I will just wait and see what can I make out of that fourteen months remaining.
But I just know that by 9 Dec '12, I will be free again and
I be I won't need half as long the time to adapt to life as a civilian again
compared to the time I usually take to adapt to different army life.

Still a long long way to go.
But at least we had come so far already.

Good luck to my friends, for the memories, the friendship, the fun joy laughter and everything you guys had brought to me for the past eight months.
Probably won't have much chances to see any of you from now on, but I believe that we will all do well.

BMT friends are the first we meet in army, and people say that after much training and stuff, the friends you made in the short 9 weeks might just soon be forgotten.
But from BMT to SCS Foundation, I think I might have just come across a few friends who I'll always remember in my heart.

Still a long long way to go.
But I'll try my best to hang in there until the end.

Byeall.

Shingles shinglez.

2011-09-13T01:06:00.003+08:00

Haven't blog for more than a week already.
Something more like ever since I fell sick.

Reported sick for the first time last Monday in the morning,
and realized that I'm having shingles,
which most of you probably don't know about it so you can Wikipedia it.
Kinda cool though, didn't even know it existed too
and all the symptoms and stuff in Wikipedia are so accurate hahah.
So I got a 10days MC and went back to pack my stuff.
Tons and tons of stuff to pack since by the time I'm back in camp,
CAT would have started already.
And that would be this Wednesday.
Will only be booking in at night though since the MC last till Wednesday.

So I have just been resting at home literally for the past week.
Like only going out during the weekends.
Can't even go play ball yesterday....
Well hope that we'll still be able to play ball almost every weekend from now on,
since I would've recovered by this weekend.
Some of them are now in Pro Term though,
and after next week I don't even know where I gonna end up yet.
Hopefully Tekong though, that'll be the best place to be to me.

Will get back here the next time.
Seriously nothing much interesting to blog about since I've pretty much spent almost all my time at home.
Finally met up with Chandan and they all for movie yesterday though.
Hopefully will have time to meet up with people I've almost lost contact with,
and also hope for the annual 2r6o6 chalet to miraculously happen this year.

Byeall.

Depends, depends.

2011-09-04T18:59:00.002+08:00

Finally the first post of September.

And it's the last book-in of Pro Term, left with only the 32km route march for CSB.
After this week it will be Combined Arms Term and my friends will finally all come back from their respective vocations to share with me their training!
Well the 32km is still a major obstacle to overcome...
considering my own state now.
It might just be the greatest challenge in my life so far.
And my right knee ain't exactly helping me in this situation,
neither is the alienated skin problem around my waist.
It's forcing me to report sick for the first time but well,
as I always said, it's really not worth it to push myself so hard just for these two years, even though I might have already been pushing myself many times until now.

So the past week, or rather the two days of the week had been nothing much.
Can't even remember exactly what did we do for the two days when we booked in.
First is Height Confidence Course at Hendon Camp then nights out,
the only one which allowed me to go home and rest,
then Friday there's just the 4km fast march and nothing else already.
Yet we booked out in late afternoon too.
Almost died for 4km fast march thanks to my knee.
First time so freakin' shag by just walking 4km...

Anyway did nothing much but rested quite a bit until today.
Played ball a little yesterday with Pan and guys.
Haven't done that for quite a long while already.

Today woke up early in the morning just to meet zw at City Hall for lunch.
Ended up waiting for him and then the others for more than an hour plus.
Waste of my time zzzZ.
It was lucky that we didn't need to participate in the AHM like they do though.
Had lunch after kentan and hj both reached and then talk cock a bit,
went to Somerset in hope of taking a look at H&M then realizing the length of the queue is simply not worth it.
Walked around a little before heading home.

Well fortunately there will be transport for me tonight so
I'll still be able to stay home for a lil while more.
Really not feeling good due to my skin though.
Bad time to fall sick too.
Shall just try to continue keep myself fit and healthy.

Byeall.

Goodbye August 2011.

2011-08-31T15:33:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow is September.

So fast and it's less than a month to our graduation.
And it's been a long seven months since enlistment.
Thirteen months left.

Finally booking in again today, back to PLC.
Somehow it felt too damn long since the last time we've been there.
Still haven't packed my stuff and get things ready.
Shall try to do them in the next few hours.
After all, I'll already be on the way there in less than six hours' time.

Somehow things seemed to changed quite a bit after we came back.
It's like, we even got a new president.
Well the world is constantly changing every second anyway,
big changes, small changes.

Approximately three more weeks and we'll get everything done and over.
Really really really hope that I'll be able to see the sunny island of Tekong again,
this time as an instructor there to take on the new batches of recruits who I was once like.
Can't say that I'm fine even if I get posted somewhere else though
because then it's once again more changes for me to adapt.
The only thing I can do however is just to pray.
Pray hard.

After all I just want to live an easy life.

Finished reading Shaman King.
Always one of my favourite manga of all time.

Just so glad that we're already halfway through the week,
and two days later we'll be back out again.
Not forgetting the nights out we gonna have tomorrow,
although I might just skip it again.

Finally collected my SGC too.
Went back TJ alone and so didn't do much.
It's been so long since I last stepped into the school though.
Miss my JC life so much, especially after considering my life now.
Just one year ago people were still frantically studying for A levels.
And now all the girls are in uni already,
most of them probably sitting in some lecture theaters as I'm typing here.

Shall get going for now, if not I'm not gonna get things done before tonight.

Byeall.

Back to carry on again.

2011-08-29T00:37:00.013+08:00

Back from Taiwan.
Was a much different experience.

And R&R made the trip so much more worth than it orginially was.
Almost totally made me forgot that we had been there for more than two weeks of training before we get to enjoy like a civilian.

And the most proud thing I did was still to watch a movie alone on the last day.
So glad I did it even though it might still come to Singapore some time later.
那些年，我们一起追的女孩,totally worth my money time and effort to watch it before leaving Taiwan.
Damn lucky to have a just nice timing just in time for me to watch too.

Other than that, bought a few other stuff, some food etc back to Singapore.
Should had brought more money though.
Really didn't expect myself to spend this much, even in Taiwan.

Pretty nothing much to say about it already, for those interested you can ask me about it.
Though seriously training was as boring but of course fun stuff happpened too.

Played ball again finally today with the same people, after three long weeks.
Right knee still sorta hurts ever since going to Taiwan.
Well things will work out eventually, hopefully I'll just be able to tank through 32km first.

Will probably be still immersed in this mood of 'everything is over' since it's usually supposed to CAT already after ROC, plus a number of other random factors too.
But I think life will suck once more from Thurs onwards.
Well one last burst in 32km and soon we the 'commanders-to-be' will finally graduate as 3SG.

Will try my best to spend these three days meaningfully to rest and settle other stuff.

Ohh and Happy Birthday, the King of Pop.

Byeall.

Starlight starbright.

2011-08-06T15:29:00.002+08:00

"Star Light Star bright,
The first star I see tonight,
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight."

Flying off tonight to Taiwan.
For three whole weeks.
And there's nothing else I hope for except these three weeks to be over real soon,
and of course for a safe trip too.
Incidents had been happening way too often recently.
Things can go wrong anytime.

Two weeks since I'be been here.
And won't be here again until at least three weeks later.
Grandslam is finally over.
One major obstacle crossed and now we face another one,
possibly much much tougher than the last one,
before we meet with the last challenge, our 32km long route march.

Navigation will hopefully be fun.
But repeated old and boring fire movements and setting up of defences will not.
Same old thing moved over to whole new environment.
You can come up with dozens of reasons for it but if you're still doing the same thing then it doesn't really matter to me the place, it's still gonna be hell as boring as ever.
Of course it's gonna be tiring but somehow sometimes boredom just tends to kill me more than exhaustion.

Have a safe trip.

Three weeks later, it will just be this close to graduation.
Just this close, just these three weeks.

Byeall.

Tough times don't last, tough men do.

2011-07-24T13:05:00.002+08:00

An overused phrase which still hold its meaning.

The past week had been tough too.
I wonder if it's me that's just too weak or what.
Had my com broke down first two weeks ago, which felt so damn long already,
everything gone with my thumbdrive missing somewhere too.
Then booked out Sat morning last week and slept the whole Sat away.
The whole of Saturday.
Morning 9plus to 6pm.
Didn't get to watch Harry Potter due to unforeseen circumstances.
Sorta wasted my Sunday too except for going out with my family.
Didn't do shit at all.
The past few bookouts was practically just resting and doing nothing because my com don't even feel like my com anymore.
Almost got confined just 'cause I was the LPS during standby-area.
Two days of outfield, 12km Route March under hot sun followed by river crossing, and then navex wasn't exactly easy at all.
All in all it was tough physically but tougher mentally.

And then what's worse is that Grandslam is tomorrow.
It's like the real shit's just beginning from here onwards.
Grandslam, Starlight, 32km march.
The last three greatest obstacles between me and the three chevrons.
Really really big obstacles.

And that's why tough times don't last, tough men do.
It's just this week, three more weeks, and two days.
What are these when we've already gone through so much and so far to where we are now.

In the end, we will all still do it.

And enough of army shit.
Finally went out yesterday to our 23/09 class outing.
Been kinda long since the last one, where most of the rest still had hair.
That was just after our POP in April, we weren't even SCTs yet.
And after so long we went to iluma to have ramen for dinner.
Not too bad I guess.
Then went drinking at some nearby place Kenneo brought us to.
Stayed there for quite a while before leaving at almost 12.
Took 12 home with some of the others living in the east.
Long ride home but chatted quite a bit.

Slept quite late but used to it anyway.
Woke up early morning today to play ball.
And ended up there's only five of us, the rest all still sleeping or too tired to come.
It was still fun anyway and good exercise for us.
May not be that good for someone going for field camp tomorrow but anyways it was fun.
Wonder if we still can continue playing like this all the way.
Or perhaps we will just somehow stop and hopefully continue after all of us ORD.
And then there's uni too.
Can't wait for uni when the girls are like getting busier and busier preparing for school again.

Well gonna have lunch and then a good rest.
Probably booking in real early today to prepare for Grandslam and at the same time,
enjoy a little bit of quality time alone with my myself and I in camp.

Byeall.

It all ends here.

2011-07-17T10:36:00.003+08:00

Been another two weeks.
Past by just so fast.
And two more it will be August already.

Harry Potter is finally out.
Can't wait to watch it and at the same time can't bear to watch it.

The last two weeks had been tough.
Almost outfield everyday, except for the first three days of the past week,
where we acted as seniors for the newcomers to SCS.

This week would possibly be better except for the fact that we're going to have our navigation test.
At Lower Mandai.
Just gonna hope that everything will be fine.
And Sports Day on Friday.
Other than that there isn't anything much and soon the week will past by again.
Still feel like I'm just seeing time zoom past and away from me.
Guess that's what happens when life's a blur.

Hopefully will be able to catch the movie later on today.
Well but if not, then I'll just see how.
Some way or another, I'll make sure I see it in the theater.

Booking in tonight.
One more week to Ex. Grandslam.

Two more to Ex.Starlight.

Byeall.

Half year gone, half more to go.

2011-07-02T14:57:00.004+08:00

And so fast it's July once again.
Half the year gone.

The past week felt god damn long that I can't even recall what I did for my last bookout.
Probably nothing much though except for playing ball on Sat morning.

Didn't even do anything or planning to go out at all for this weekend.
Just too tired.
And it's only the first week of outfield.
Just imagine all the outfield platoon attack UO stuff and etc shit starts coming in.
No go man.

Soon I'll be a troubled soldier again.
Then again, life's not too bad too.
Tomorrow's ATP and I really want to get marksman.
Not too sure if I really want to get it though because it's so hard and there's nothing really much that I can do about it except to focus more and more and more.
39/48 is really nothing simple when I only hit 26 in IMT.
And that's when we didn't even do the real run and shoot.
And this week there will be some UO I think, some outfield, and the following will just be 3 days of BIT which equals to 3 days of no training and slacking and teaching and resting a little bit.
Well the two days after that are tough though, live firing and Ex. Gypsy if I'm not wrong.

The following week is not quite relaxing too except for the last day which is the sports day followed by parents engagement.
Then it's another week of training most probably then Ex. Grandslam, a week of pre-flight preparation after that followed by Ex. Starlight at Taiwan.
While this month gonna past by so fast for people waiting to enter uni, or rather not, it's gonna be a hell of a month for me and when I finally board the plane to Taiwan, it's like the last final shit ever already for Pro Term.
Well that is second last before 32km actually.

Just hope that I'll be able to survive all this.
And the most important thing is to have a good section.

People, please don't screw up anymore.
Thanks and I'll appreciate it.

More tough times to come, more fun times to come.

Ohh and hope we'll really be getting more Friday bookouts instead of Sat morning or whatever.
Really wish to spend another night at home.
The good thing is that after this weekend there probably won't be another Sunday burnt.
Well we'll see about this and in any cases life goes on so I'll just have to keep that in mind.

Byeall.

These days.

2011-06-19T18:32:00.003+08:00

Book in nooooooooooooooooooooo..........
Booking out again this Fri... and then back in on Sat.
The worst is booking out next Sat and in again at night on the same day.
What kind of screwed up training schedule is that?

At least I sort of tried to make use of all the time I had during this bookout,
so that I can just totally rest and stay at home to prepare for booking in on the next two bookouts.

Bookout on Fri and got fetched home by Hakeem's mother.
Then woke up early on Sat to play ball at Kembangan.
Freakin' nice weather but none of my friends came haiz.
So just ended up playing with Cedric and his VJ friends for quite a while.
Then Denie and XZ finally came and we played somemore before everyone left.
So I went back to 201 Mac for lunch with PLC.
RW was like so late that he might as well not be there.
Anyway so after that two of them went for Green Lantern and I went home to prepare to get out again for dinner.
Had dinner at Aston's in airport with 2r6 people.
Not bad, quite a number of people turned up,
especially when I haven't seen most of them for quite a while already.
And that's mainly due to this National Service thing.
Well wonder if we'll have another 2r6 chalet this year...
Had already intended to organize some sort of outing so I can raise it up to RS the chalet organizing expert but well there comes this dinner planned by Theresa.
RS didn't turn up anyway so we'll just see how it goes on then.
Stayed back to chat and talk and sit and look until 11plus I think, before heading home with CK.
Got home, washed up, TV, computer etc then sleep time.

Woke up at 9plus to day to meet the Terry and the rest for movie.
Mr Popper's Penguin.
What a nice show it was and so glad that I manage to catch it because if not I might not get to watch it.
Jim Carrey's shows had always been good and it's still just as awesome.
Went home straight after that to have lunch then had been doing pretty nothing much since then.
Gotta eat my dinner soon, then some preparations and off I go for my freakin' long ride to camp.
And it's one of the biggest reasons that made booking in so awful,
apart from booking into the camp itself.

Really feel so much like just throwing money away and cab straight to camp.
Shall see my mood later on.

Byeall.

To the midsummer.

2011-06-14T14:34:00.002+08:00

It's halfway through June yet life's only about to get harder for me.
Being the only one in the section to go Pro Term sucks like shit,
and it's the most unexpected posting since we were told that most will be staying back.
I guess that's just how bullshit this organization can be.

Still meeting them for steamboat later on for dinner.
But haven't packed my stuff yet.
Guess I shall quickly finish packing later on before I relax till tomorrow.
Hope that the next three days gonna be fine and my section is good again, my buddy as well.
I shall just take one step at a time,
a day by a day, week by week and soon these 13 weeks would be over.
Three months.
Just three more months before getting the Third Sergeant rank and hopefully life would be much much better from then on.

As usual, the weekend past by quickly, even with this two days block leave.
Well the good thing is the next weekend's just in three days' time.
Other than Grandslam, Taiwan and 32km, there shouldn't be much problems throughout the course.
The only thing is how to have fun with my new section mates.
Then again, I know that I will never have as much fun again as compared to P3S2 or P1S1.

I guess so far in my life, army's been the only time where I actually really hope that times flies by in a flash.
And I know I still do.

Just looking forward to how I gonna spend my 7 months after my ORD which is still far far away...

Anyway, the NBA season 10/11 finally ended with the Mavs and Dirk clinching their first championship.
So glad that Heat didn't make it in the end.
Well and Dirk and Kidd finally quit the list of greatest players without a ring.
Now that the post-season is done as well, it's the start of off-season and I'm gonna be so bored for the next few months.
Soccer as well.
Both only gonna start their new seasons is August or so.
The only thing we can hope for now is some big transfers...

Shall start packing my stuff soon, watch some TV, get out for dinner and get a really good rest before tomorrow comes.

Byeall.

A Dream Deferred.

2011-05-29T01:52:00.003+08:00

And exactly a week after the last post, here it is again.
Will be a short one because I'm so tired and gotta wake up early later on.

So I had my guard duty from Fri evening to Sat morning and didn't rest enough.
And for last week it was more or less much better than the previous ones due to the completion of many high key events.
Had our section live firing on Monday which was kinda fun but tiring too
especially since we had to march there and back and were the last platoon to reach back the coyline.
Luckily we had a later reveille timing as compared to usual.
More or less lectures and learning throughout the whole week,
first it's signals on Tues and then Chem Def on Thurs if I'm not wrong.
Then we had nights out too on Wed.
Went to Jurong Point again and ate JiaXiangMian because there really was not much place to eat.

Hopefully finally be able to watch PotC tomorrow
because it's been quite a while since I wanted to catch a show and somehow things just keep getting screwed up and it still is anyways.
Booking in again tomorrow and it's just two weeks left.
Navex, 28km and nothing much more.
And our fate will be made known to us soon.
Less than two weeks.
Just hope that I'll be able to go to somewhere good and hopefully with my section mates too.
Well can only hope anyways, let's just hope, continue hoping.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore--
And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes.

Byeall.

So Sick.

2011-05-22T16:17:00.002+08:00

The past week was a short one, but it was one hell of a week.
And it will last till tomorrow, then everything would be so much easier, I hope.

UO camp for Thurs and Fri, then Route March on Sat morning and M203 and Matador Live Firing.
Another firing tomorrow, Section Live Firing damn.
Actually it seems kinda easy.
The only thing is that it's gonna take freakin' long for everyone to finish
and then we much reach there super early and can only get back super late.
Then clean arms, send arms.
Ahhhh another shag day I guess.
Need to march there somemore, probably just 2km+ or hopefully even less, 1km+ only.

Headache about how to book in again,
especially since I have to book in by 9 which means I'll probably gotta be there by 8plus.
And adding to that is all the shit I'll have to do,
journal, reflections, and then the coy video, do RAC for tomorrow in case I forget.
And that just reminded me to bringing scotchtape and cutting my nails before booking in.

Well shall do all these stuff first, slack a bit, have a good dinner then book in again.

Byeall.

Four days out.

2011-05-14T23:27:00.002+08:00

So Field Camp was over last week for us.
Shagged.
Physically much more tiring than the BMT one I would say,
even though the duration was shorter.
Just running and walking up and down eveywhere doing fire movements etc for the whole of three days two nights.
Plus tons of digging to do, in the dark if it's not bad enough.

Booked out on the Fri right after we got back from Lorong Asrama
and booked back in again on Sunday early morning for my COS duty.
At least I got to rest up quite a bit during my duty.
Then the whole of this week is just... normal boring life again.
Strength trainings, some UO, boring stuff etc.
And navigation lessons, finally.
Compass and pacing course wasn't really that helpful because tons of practice would be required before being able to pace properly in that kind of terrains.
I guess we'll just have to rely much more on the luck portion of navigation when we're out for navex then.
Just all these normal stuff throughout the week.
Plus a whole lot of random happenings like people DotAing in bunk which is plain crazy.

So now finally enjoying my long weekend which is going to stretch till Tues night.
Shiok ttm.
Even if I do not have any plans, being home is better than being there.
Okay but really sucks to not have much plans yet when I have so much time now compared to other weekends to go out to the civilian world.
Shall wait for my BMT friends to finally get out and maybe meet some of them.
Though I'd probably get meet only Chandan for this weekend.
Well next week will be a shorter one, but the next two weeks combined would seem like an extremely long one.
Navi practical test, UO camp, M203 and Matador fam shoot, then book out Sat evening haiz.
Book in Sunday, Section Live Firing (!!), and... other stuff which I'm not too sure of yet.
Hope that navex is not on that week though, it should be on the following week.
Which means that from then on there really isn't anything much left already.

Well shall stop here for now to get my dinner and watch some TV.

Byeall.

Defeats.

2011-05-02T16:45:00.003+08:00

And it's already May of 2011.
Just so fast.

Today's quite a significant day I would say.
Osama bin Laden had finally been confirmed dead by US President Obama.
Although terrorism continues to strike but the defeat of Al-Qaeda leader Osama would definitely be a symbolic milestone in the world's continuous efforts to eliminate terrorism.

Coincidentally, May 2 also marks the final defeat of another terror, a fictional one though.
On 2 May 1998, the Battle of Hogwarts occurred and Lord Voldemort was finally killed in the battle along with many other wizards, good and bad.
Seems like 2 May is not just any ordinary date now.

This week gonna be outfield week for us.
Tomorrow's training outfield and then followed by a 3d2n field camp.
Hope that the weather would take care of us when we're outfield.
And lucky for the Polling Day, we would be able to book out this Friday.
'Cause the original training programme was to have field camp till Saturday.
Thanks whoever set the date for this.
But I'll still need to book in on Sunday early early morning for my COS duty.
Well at least I still get a day off to rest for a bit.

And finally the May batch of recruits are going to be enlisted.
That means goodbye to many of my friends for the next two weeks hahah.
Hope they will get to enjoy BMT because at least the training is still not as tough and it's probably gonna be the first time for many of them to stay with the same people everyday nine weeks straight.
Good luck to all my enlisting friends and take care people.

Gonna need to book in by 9.30pm tonight.
Probably shall try to reach by 9pm.
And if I take a 1hr45mins travelling time, it means that I'll have to leave house even before 7.30pm.
Wow. Wasting so much precious time just to get to PLC.
So probably I'll just watch a little TV, relax a bit, have dinner and get changed and ready to set off again.
May this week be fine for us, and also the OCS people who would still be looking forward to their first book out this Friday, and also the new recruits who look to experience a life they had never had before.

Byeall.

Long long week.

2011-04-24T17:57:00.002+08:00

Just hours away from booking in, again.
But this time most probably gonna travel on my own,
since I've yet to find anyone to travel with as of now.
Transport is such a waste of money now zzZ.

And it's gonna be a long long week before we get to come back out again on Saturday.
Long long week man.
Not sure what we gonna have this week,
let's just hope that the training schedule isn't too packed and we'll get to have more rest time.
Should be doing SAW live firing tomorrow though,
and I guess there will be quite a number of people who will all be as screwed as me.
I certainly don't want to misfire and get into trouble in this early stage of my SCS life.

Don't know what else I can do till I book in.
The feeling of sianness is already surrounding me like always.
Shall just take my time to chill but be ready to get out because I won't want to be late,
and going there early always gives me much more time to prepare and settle down.
Let's pray that tomorrow and the rest of the week gonna be good to us, and to all you guys out there.

Byeall.

Today I don't feel like doing anything...

2011-04-23T22:56:00.002+08:00

Hey guys.

So it's been a week into my SCS course at Pasir Laba Camp which is far far away in Joo Koon.
Well all I can say that is I really miss BMT times a lot a lot.
My section mates, the way Viper do things, our commanders and all that.
Guess that we're just too used to it and the change is too fast for me to adapt to.
Most people still find SCS a good place though.
Probably because of the slacker regimentation.
Well for me I'd rather have a more strict environment but training's not as tough.
Because from what I see, our schedule are packed like crazy and we're definitely going to suffer during training.
Learning how to operate so many things in just two days is certainly not gonna help.
We'll have our SAW live firing on Monday if I'm not wrong and half the things I learnt last week are already all gone from my brain.
And then there's Pro Term, or ASLC as some call it.
Well I just hope to get sent to other vocations, preferably support units man.
Army life's making me sick and I just don't feel like 'chionging' anymore.
Well maybe at moments I do because I don't want to get screwed and by doing so we would probably get to rest more.
But I just don't see any need for me to fight to be the best or top few or whatsoever anymore.
Even people at OCS are feeling the toughness, or rather they're feeling really homesick because there are two more weeks before they get to come out.
And it's only going to get worse from now on.
Sometimes I really wonder how would life be like without NS,
and when I think back about my life I led as a civilian, things really seem unreal and it's like I've been living a dream for the past 18years of my life.
I'm sure these 2 years gonna be the ones which felt like a dream after I ORD and get back to studying life.
But as of now, I really really just hope to be able to get this whole thing done and over with as soon as possible...

That aside, this weekend had been fine.
Long weekend due to Good Friday.
Thank goodness.
Although it's been screwed by people who I can't communicate with.
Maybe it's my fault, maybe it's theirs.
Whatever it is, I just hope that people should understand that it's only normal to acknowledge a message or reply to questions if you do not want the other party to have a wrong assumption about your thoughts.
And things shouldn't be left till last minute unless there's really no choice.
An early message does certainly help a lot in doing many things.
And yes these do piss me off so well perhaps I should just live a hermit life every bookout because I can't possibly get pissed off by myself as much as I did by others.

On a brighter note, I finally caught Source Code today with PLC07 minus Chandan who went for his Innotrek outing.
Can't blame him as the timing was changed just yesterday.
Who to blame?
Well well well.
The point is I get to watch Source Code and I'm just happy with that.
Then again I guess I'll still catch it alone even without anyone.

So went out yesterday with RenWei and Terry.
Somehow just the two of them when it was supposed to be a dinner with 6.
Just somehow.
Supposed to watch Source Code and somehow ended up not watching anything.
Still caught it today with the rest anyway.
Morning went to NAS to find out that Scout meeting's cancelled and NAS was locked anyway.
So got kinda frustrated from getting locked out and waking up early in the morning for nothing.
Basketball was already cancelled because of literally everyone having some cock up and now that.
Well went to Tmart to take a look at the newly renovated Kopitiam and for Terry to have his breakfast.
After that we just played ball at carpark court till we both had to go.
Went home, bathed, ate a little and watched Spongebob before heading out to meet the rest.
First time since forever in going to Jansen's '4r2 outing'.
Well it was kinda stupid that we travel to Bukit Timah for lunch.
Okay it's really stupid.
But oh well since I don't really have anything to do and like what SuTing said, it's not always that we get to meet each other and the chances are only going to get less and less.
Somehow ended up cabbing back with CJ in order to catch the movie.
That's about it for this weekend so far.

Always feel like I should pack my bag the night before booking in but never truly did it.
I shall try doing it later, or at least majority of the stuff I need to pack so that I can really take a rest and not think about army until booking in time tomorrow.
Still don't know how am I supposed to go there myself.
After entering NS I just feel like cabbing whenever I need to go out.
Of course I don't do that all the time but having to go Joo Koon and back every week is just extremely tempting for me to cab.
Gotta find more people to share the fare with though.

Need to buy a bag so that I can book out with it.
But for now I'll just use my school bag I guess.
And then now I need a pair of sports shoes because mine's like freakin' cui already.
When would I find time to buy stuff man.
And I really feel like I should stop spending so much because even though I only get to spend once per week, I felt like I'm spending way more than before.
And by just earning $500/month I don't think that sounds sensible.
Well shall think about what to do with this when I'm free.

Shall stop here for now and continue the next time I have a chance too.
Well at least I feel closer to civilian life now, being able to surf the net given that I have the time when I'm in camp.

Byeall.

Times ten. Or more than that.

2011-04-17T23:22:00.003+08:00

So I got into SCS. Since by the end of BMT I'm already quite unsure if I really want OCS, compared to as when I just got enlisted, I had no preference and was just looking to get into command school before I checked my posting, be it OCS or SCS. However, if you ask me what I really wish for as my vocation, maybe I'll say MP or RP or some other slack vocations which I had not yet discovered. Hahah. Well maybe not really, but I'm already kinda sick of how the army works and sees little reason in continuing to serve.... There's so little things to look forward to too. Maybe just the jungle navigation in Lower Mandai which Andrew Sir brought us to before and finally becoming a Third Sergeant after our 6months long training course. Not sure if it's possible, it should be, so I hope to get sent back to BMTC as a instructor sergeant there rather than to be sent to unit after my training. Being sent to unit and being with your men certainly sounds fun. The bonding got to be real tight after spending time together for another year or so. But then again training the new recruits and helping to groom future soldiers sound nice too. After seeing how much our sergeants and sirs did for us, I feel that it would be really cool to become like one of them someday and train the next batch of recruits. What's more is that it's likely that I'll take the poly batch which includes many of my friends next year if I happen to get sent to BMTC lol. So I'd only finished packing just now. Don't really have much time to relax after packing already. Should've done it yesterday but was out till quite late and after dinner and such I didn't really have the time and energy to pack my stuff. Packing really sucks man. Since years ago, always packing for camps and etc, the feeling never failed to bring my mood to the lowest. The thought of spending days out of my house, consequences of not remembering to bring a certain stuff or making some mistakes, and more negative thoughts just always dampens my mood. And tomorrow's different. It's not just booking in. And if I can't even get over the feeling of booking in, this is just much worse. It's like enlistment all over again. More troublesome due to the need to bring everything in by ourselves. And further. Much much more further. The need to settle down again. The need to re-adapt. The need to make new friends. The need to learn the new system. And I definitely hope that I'll go to a welfare company this time. Screw whatever benefits going to a hiong company may have. Welfare for the win. Okay maybe not too welfare, just average. But I feel physically damn weak now. Hope that I'll be able to take the physical trainings there. Embrace change. I'm personally not a guy who likes changes. Change is inevitable. Change is a part of life. Change is everywhere. And the only thing that doesn't change is change itself. That's why understanding how something work and being able to actually work it out is two different things. Time for me to adapt to new environment again. Well one more thing is that having the ability to adapt and wanting to adapt is two different things too. And hating to adapt to changes doesn't mean you do not possess the ability to do so. Would like to type some more but there's this problem of serious time constraint. I'm already giving up my time on the Arsenal Liverpool match just to be here. And I'm not even on Tumblr yet. I just hope that tomorrow won't be tough because I need to time to settle down and more importantly, I need the time to rest because I don't think I can survive sleeping late and waking up this early again after not doing it for a week or so. Good luck to everyone reporting to their new camps tomorrow and cherish your time outside for those not yet enlisted. All the best for everyone else be it studying, going to your third year poly or working and any other things in your life. Byeall.

What am I supposed to do.

2011-04-14T23:02:00.003+08:00

Not yet blogged about life after POP.
So I shall do it now.

After the Graduation Parade, took some photos, met up with my parents then came back to Tampines.
Ate at the round market, weird place to eat after POP but well, whatever.
Then went home and rest... okay didn't really rest, use computer for a while and then went out again at 2pm.
Supposed to meet at 2pm for a movie with Jiahao CK Engleong at 2.10pm and of course we didn't make it 'cause everyone's late and we didn't buy the tickets beforehand.
Checked out the showtimes at Century Square and turns out that it doesn't even show 'Limitless'.
Ended up rushing to Ehub to catch the 3.15pm show.
We even got delayed again on the bus from Pasir Ris Interchange to Ehub for some reason.
Somehow it just seems like everything's against us watching the movie -.-
Well but in the end we still caught it.
Not a bad show. Cool idea and all, but the story could be better I think.
I missed like 10minutes in the middle of the movie though.
Fell asleep zzz. That's how tired I was. Having only slept 2hours after marching for 7hours and 24km through Singapore from Changi to Marina Bay.

The day's not ended yet.
It's not long long day after all.
Went to BK to talk cock after the show.
And we just sat there.... right in front of the counter, without buying a single thing... till 7pm.
JH left for Ranon's house and EL went home I think.
He promised his mum to go home early or something like that if I'm not wrong hahah.
Well anyway after that, CK's supposed to meet Qihao they all basically their clique for dinner at Downtown.
Okay, they're supposed to meet him, since we were already at Downtown.
I was supposed to meet Chandan they all at 201.
So I just kept CK company until I think I need to leave.
Well, ended up I never needed to leave.
Thanks to the fact that I was lazy to go back and it seems so convenience to just get everyone to Downtown.
So Huihui came along and the rest were late and we just continue sitting there and chat.
Finally the rest came, with GY, and JJ reached already too.
Somehow we were still there waiting for something which I don't know is what.
After that CK they all went to Ehub for dinner and Chandan and RW came too.
Had dinner at BK and realized Terry was out there somewhere from Kallang to Bishan.
Discussed about the possibility of watching movie but guess we were too late in making our decision and Terry was too late in fufiling his promise of coming over.
Yea he finally cabbed over at 10pm and that was the last shows before midnight movies and Chandan didn't like the idea of not having a public transport home after a show.
But RW was despo for a movie or something and bowling is a no go after we realized there's 22groups of people queueing up.
Ended up at the arcade and played for a while before leaving for home at 11plus.
Speaking of which, I didn't pay any of them for the arcade.

So that was the end of a long day.
Then came Sunday.
Went to Fengshan CC after a last minute call by Denie to ball. Didn't play too much as it was damn crowded and the feeling of playing ball is still kinda foreign to me for some reason.
Left there at 6plus and then I messaged Suting if he wanted to dine out.
So we called up CJ and Brendon but Brendon's not free and unfortunately CJ just bought his dinner.
He still came though, after eating at home.
Called Pan to join us too when we were at 201.
And to our amazement he agreed on the spot. Really first time seeing him does that hahah.
So I ended up spending 13bucks on my dinner.
In a coffeshop.
$5.80 on some Japanese codfish rice, $4 on Chicken Rice, $1 for Milo and $2 for dessert.
Aren't I good at spending. And eating.
Chatted for quite a while before heading home.

Then came Monday.
Went out for movie again, this time with Suting they all.
Supposed to have more people coming.
But somehow there was just six of us.
Watched Hall Pass in the end since there wasn't any good movies at that time and we believed a comedy should be good.
Well sorta wasted my money and time...
Walked home after that from TMall.

Then came Tuesday.
Went to play ball with mostly people from 23/09 in the morning at Kemb CC.
Had some good matches and a final freakin' intense one under the burning hot sun.
Felt damn tired and super hungry by the time we decided to go for lunch.
Went to eat at Bedok Point Kungfu Paradise, ate there the last time with Kenneo and it wasn't too bad so we decided to go for it again.
Finished lunch and reached home at around 3plus and finally rest my tired legs.

Then came Wednesday.
The 4 of us were supposed to meet at Chandan's house to play Fifa on his PS3.
Ended up only Terry and me went.
Of course didn't have as much fun as we would had if GY and JJ came too.
Then went for lunch at around 2pm I believe, at 201.
Wasn't that hungry at that time. And weather was freakin' hot.
After that went straight to NAS to see the Scout meeting, which was DPC training so there was only the DPC people there.
Benedict's supposed to conduct First Aid theory lesson.
So we waited for meeting to start, rested a while etc.
Then just sat there, talked a little and observed them throughout the meeting.
Condor went up to take over the theory part for a while because he thinks Benedict too noob.
Shared some stories of his own, and yes I can tell that going to SO MANY camps really helped to make you a better speaker talker and whatever now.
Well but NS is coming for you too so guess helping the unit can be put on hold until we are more free.
Went home after meeting. Nothing much after that.

Then came Thursday, today.
Finally staying at home for the entire day for the first time after my POP.
Felt good, nice, got some time to really rest up.
Well sleeping for almost 12hours definitely got me rested enough.
I thought 9hours was good but I ended up sleeping extra 3hours 'cause I was alone and I didn't know how much time have past after I woke up the first time at 11am zzzz.
So didn't do anything much either.
Basically it's just using computer 'cause apparently the TV shows kinda suck now.
And there won't be much movies showing even though the weekends are coming.
Mediacorp. Tsk.
Too bad I have no cable TV and your whatever crap shit.
Then again I won't get to enjoy TV much since from few days later onwards life's gonna get effed up again.

No plans yet for tomorrow except a possible dinner with Chandan they all.
Then balling on Sat and perhaps a class gathering at Vivo.
Will get to know our posting on tomorrow, earliest 10am.
And to be honest the only thing I hope for the most now is going into SCS.
I hope I didn't do so badly to get sent to a unit and I don't exactly see myself doing good enough to go to OCS.
And I definitely still can't see myself strong enough to survive OCS either.
Maybe I'll make through it, well, I probably will, but it's only been 9weeks and it's making me sick and tired enough already.
And I don't think my BMT was that bad either.
Well maybe I just want to make life easy for myself, as usual, taking the easy way out and not trying to go for the best and such.
I just hope the remaining days of my NS life will go like a breeze and then it's back to being a student again.
And I see nothing wrong in taking psychology if that's really what I want now.
Anyway there's two more years for me to think it through and people have to start thinking before talking.

Shall end the post here for now.
Maybe will blog again tomorrow or what, some time before reporting to my new unit.
Maybe tomorrow be a good day for me, and for you guys.
Have a good night.

Byeall.

Short short break.

2011-04-12T00:34:00.002+08:00

POP LO!!

Finally after our 24km route march followed by our Graduation Parade at Marina Bay, we are officially out of Tekong and completed our BMT.
And BMT is just the very very first phase of our NS life.
Wow.
What a long long way to go man.

Somehow blogger's screwed up and doesn't automatically go into the next line even when I typed it that way here.
And now I'll need to see < br> everywhere.
That's just do good at making me shorten my post.
And nothing else.

Hope I'll fully make use of this block leave and get rested up well.
And I hope even harder that I get sent to somewhere nice.
If by chance I can't even get to command school, then at least to some good units please.
If not then SISPEC seems like the best way to go.
Can't really see myself going to OCS now even though till the last days of BMT I was still half sure that I wanted OCS.

Well I'll just take whatever comes then.
It's not like any of us have a choice anyway.

Gonna sleep soon because tomorrow's another early day.
Goodnight guys and it's really nice to be able to sleep at home on a Monday night.
You all just won't be able to appreciate it unless you're in the army.

Byeall.

One more week.

2011-04-02T19:04:00.003+08:00

Finally received the letter too on Thursday.
The letter of acceptance by NUS into FASS.

Finally got my IPPT Gold.
Barely made it with a timing of 9:42 for 2.4km.
But I made it. Finally.

So the past week seemed to be going quite well for me.
Things are fine and sun shine high in the clear blue sky.
And now it's already just exactly one week left to POP.

Time to leave Tekong and all my section, platoon mates and Viper Company 01/11 batch.
And then it's just the beginning to another stage of my NS life which is far from over.
Sigh. Far from over.
That's the worst part.

While the girls our age are half a year from living their student life in Uni,
we're stuck right here with more than two years to go before getting to study again.

Haven't gone out since booking out and don't think I would get to do that.
It's like 24 more hours to book in again.
Well I gonna have a week of free time to go wherever I want,
so let's just hope this week passes by quickly too.
Just gonna slack and rest and relax at home for now then....

Few more days to another year to add on to my age.
And I gonna spend the days leading up to it,
and the days following it in camp.
In camp doing Graduation Parade rehearsal, over and over and over and over again.
How much much more retarded can it get.
Sigh.
Well just gonna celebrate it in advance with me family today,
not like people usually celebrate it for me anyway.
Just that the thought of a whole week of GP rehearsal with my birthday in is really really boring.

Well we're all growing up now.
Last year of being a teenager.
All so fast.

Byeall.

It's here again.

2011-03-27T16:17:00.004+08:00

Just a quick short one before booking in again. Supposed to blog like last night or what but forgotten about it. And now I'm left with 40mins before I should appear at Pasir Ris interchange. I can never get over this booking in feeling. Killing me ttm I swear..... Hope that this week gonna be much more bearable though, because it's already the last week of training, with stuff like Recruit's Night, Games Day etc. I think the only major effed up thing left is BCCT, WITH RIFLE -.- Well it will be over in two days' time so let's just endure, as we always do. Okay shall have dinner soon after finish folding my Smart 4. So looking forward to POP in less than 2weeks' time. 24km route march in Singapore to the floating platform. COME ON MAN. See ya guys in a week's time.

Byeall.

Now is now.

2011-03-20T15:42:00.003+08:00

Already two weeks without posting anything.
That's just as long as the time I spent in Tekong before I came back yesterday afternoon.

Like I had been saying, the past week had been hell.
Well, at least more than half of the week was hell.
Although the one before was kinda slack because it's been raining everyday.

Really got tekan like shit for days since Sit Test.
All the Stand-by Areas, with Camo on somemore...
So glad that there's just two more weeks of training left,
and the last one will be just graduation parade rehearsal.
After that of course it's.... POP LO!

Yea and another two weeks it will be a whole new environment again.
Bad bad bad.
Well at least the first stage of NS would already be completed by then.

So finally settled my Uni application yesterday.
Took me quite a while to do so.
So in the end it's still NUS FASS and NTU Psychology.
Don't know if I'll change my mind in a year or two years' time.
But for now I'll just take it as it is and hope I get the spot first.
Better remember to pay the application fee by 1st Apr though.
By then it would only be a week more to POP.
Everything just seems to gone by so fast.
And just a while ago we were still busy studying for the A's.
Now the A's are over, JC life's no more, results are back, people are actually seriously considering about their own future and what to do in Uni and stuff like that.
It'll probably take 6years of studies to be a clinical psychologist.
That's around 26/27 years old.
Then a few years to be experienced enough.
Or maybe I won't even be a psychologist.
Well for now I'll just stick with the mindset of doing what interests me at the moment.
I definitely won't want to spend time studying things that I find boring for years after NS.

And as for now, now, I just hope the weather is fine tomorrow morning.
Finally gonna touch basketball again since like forever.
Gonna have some real fun before booking in again for just four days this week.
So this week will be gone really fast and I hope it goes the same for the next and I'm sure it will be.

And this was what I said a few days back.
Very very meaningful stuff.

'They said now, you know what is NOW?
Now, is now.
They said now.
Now is the later of just now.
Now is the just now of later.'

So to add on to it,
the now just now is not now because the now just now is already just now of just now.
The now of later is now because it's already later.
Now is the later of just now.
And now is the just now of later.

Now is now.

Byeall.

Aftereffects.

2011-03-06T02:27:00.002+08:00

Finally release of A levels results last Friday.

Booked out a day earlier, after Field Camp.
It was definitely one of a hell.
I don't need any comparison, I'll just call it hell no matter how much tougher other people's field camps might be.
Thank god, it's over now.
Now it's just 6 weeks left and the only tough thing I need to overcome is building up stamina and strength for route march, and also for my 2.4km.

So much for army crap.
Now it's time to talk about more normal stuff like A levels results.

Not much of a happiness or disappointment really.
More or less like what happened during my O levels results.
'Cept that there was a huge disappointment for my HCL and pretty nothing much else.
And this time, there wasn't really any extreme feelings.
I don't know if it's because army life diluted my senses towards this or that I was really just relieved to see that my results turned out more or less fine and the way I expected.
I guess when everything's in control, life isn't just life anymore.
Still, as always I'll thought of how much better I could've been if only I studied harder instead.
A for Math and Chem, B for Phy and GP, C for econs.
And I really do wonder how many from our school actually got an A for h1 econs.

Now it's just what I do with these.
Continue with Psychology?
Or something new and some other courses which might be more relevant to the context of Singapore?
I've got two more years to decide after all.
That's a whole two more chances for me to set my mind straight.
Perhaps for now all I need to do is just securing a place in FASS and let my life for the next one year decide for me if I should do something else.
After having that thought my mind seemed much calmer and things seem clearer.

Still, having things unsettled and the need to book in again isn't allowing my mind to rest.
It's two more weeks again.
Sometimes we just have to learn to let go at the right moment, so that it won't hurt as much as it might have otherwise.

I hope I'll gain some insights on stuff I do not know of yet during next week's open house.
It's also the only time I'll be let out for the next two weeks.
Thanks to situational test which I hope I'll be able to perform.

Gonna be 3 soon and I shall head to bed soon.
Ohh and watched Finding Nemo today, not the whole of it though, missed the front part.
It was 8years ago and I can't believe it.
Still a nice show though. (:

Byeall.

First time back out here.

2011-02-26T02:42:00.002+08:00

First time book out and I'm currently left with approx 16hours 40mins at the moment.
Will probably get used to this by the next time I book out again,
which is around a week later, after my terrorizing field camp.

So had some really different experiences throughout the two weeks.
Glad that I made it through with almost the whole of me still with me right here.
Became slightly fitter I guess.
And adopted a healthier lifestyle of sleep early, wake up earlier,
eating food which are thought to be of sufficient nutrition for us
and drinking tons and tons of water running everywhere everyday up and down the fourth floor.

Booked out Thursday night finally and everyone was dam excited.
Took a cab home for some reason and finally got to see my beloved home and room and computer and everything else again.
Finally got to sleep on my own bed eat on my own time shit in my own toilet and stuff like that.
Been using com for most of the time I'm home.
Rested and rested and feels that time still flies too fast here in Singapore
while it crawls slower than a snail back in Tekong.
Hot weather seems to subside for the moment but I just hope the weather will be just nice during field camp.
Went to have dinner with PLC except JJ today at TMall.
Supposed to have Cafe Cartel and got downgraded to Texas Chicken which has no spaces available and so downgraded again to foodcourt.
Still, it was a great meal with great people.
Went on to catch I Am Number Four although me and renwei thought Unknown should be a better movie.
Guess that all of us agree on that now that we've seen I Am Number Four.
Feels like I should catch it some time, like next week or whichever weekend I can be out here free.

So probably going to scout meeting early in the morning later on.
Then to buy some engineering gloves for field camp and comms cord too.
Hope I'll be able to find them somewhere near in some army shops instead of having to go all the way to Beach Road again.
Then after all these I'll just have to pray that I'm ready to get back to Tekong
and super ready for field camp because it's gonna be hell.
But after the next five or six days I bet I'll feel like there's nothing I can accomplish.
Unless it's a field camp with longer duration.

Well should be going off now, not good to sleep at this kind of time when I'm going to wake up early tomorrow and that it's book in day.

See you guys again in a week's time and take care everybody.

Byeall.

Tomorrow is another day, more than just any normal other day.

2011-02-10T00:10:00.002+08:00

Gonna sleep reaaaaaaaaaal soon.

Just wanted to leave one final last post before being cut off from the outside world.
For two weeks.
Which is neither too long nor too short.
But can be both too.

Wish me luck people because I certainly want my stay to be as enjoyable as possible although that sounds pretty impossible considering the place I'm going and the reason I'm going there for.

I just hope my fitness level can slowly be trained up haha.

And as for now let's just hope that I'll be able to adapt and make new friends as quickly as possible.
Although I won't mind at all having any old friends in the same platoon or bunk as me. (:

Have fun everyone I'll try to have fun too.

Byeall.

Another year passed, another to last.

2011-02-05T02:37:00.003+08:00

Finally the first post of February.
Firstly, Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!! (:

Had been staying home to help out in preparing for CNY since Monday.

So it was CNY Eve on Wednesday.
Had steamboat again for our reunion dinner like we did every year.
Nothing much to talk about it actually.
It's just the usual stuff, eating food and watching TV these few days.
Just went two houses for visiting on the first day and nothing more.
One for paternal and one for maternal side, then with all other relatives also visiting the same place, there's no need to visit each of them individually anymroe.
So had been slacking most of the time for today already.
And it actually felt like just any other normal post-A's day.

Finally finished reading Harlem Beat.
Although it's from damn long ago but still a very nice manga.
Didn't manage to finish or read more on any manga other than that though.
And didn't continue to watch 我和僵尸有个与会 since more than a week ago too.
That's probably because I've been so busy going out and doing other stuff or doing nothing at all.
Getting busy from doing nothing at all.
How cool is that.

Okay shall not blog more.
Probably will be back at least one more time before I enlist this Thursday.
People will start disappearing from Monday onwards....
Well wish them and me good luck!

I'll still continue complaining until then though even if I know I'll have fun during NS because that's just how I am.

Byeall.

You can only blame the... oh wait there's no one else to blame but yourself.

2011-01-31T05:03:00.003+08:00

I don't know why am I blogging at this kind of weird time again but let's get this done soon so that I can go to bed.

Went to LK's birthday party last Thurs.
Well wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be.
Nice to see that he was so happy that we all turned up to celebrate his birthday with him.
But the feeling of getting thrown into the pool when you had already predicted it must be cool.
Same with swimming in it at night with the security guard walking around.

So from Friday onwards it's the Gauntlet camp in NAS.
Went there at first without intending to stay overnight.
But then we all decided to do so instead so went home at 9plus to repack my stuff.
Then passed my bag to Terry to bring to NAS while I travel to Simpang Bedok to meet Chandan, Fattah, Jansen and Soon Chuen for supper.
Took the last bus 10 back to Tamp Interchange and then also the last bus 291 back to Ngee Ann.
Then basically just slacked in staff lounge and also played ball in ISH.
God the Indoor Sports Hall is freakin' awesome.
Finally got to enter it after numerous camps at NAS after it was built.
Why didn't TJ have this kind of thing hahaha.

Slept at 6plus then woke up at 10plus when Andrew Sir came and the AGM was about to begin.
Had a short breakfast and got changed into Full U for the AGM.
AGM was pretty much like the usual ones we had in the past years.
But this time the AGM was done in the hall with screwed up mics.
After that was lunch and more slacking and helping out.
Then went to ISH to play for a while more before heading back to the nice safari bed in the classroom to have a nap.
The nap was kinda long though.
And we decided to stay for another night but didn't went home to repack or bathe 'cause Terry was lazy to do so.
Woke up only at around 9pm to have some food.
Then it was just really slacking all the way from then on.
Chandan apparently abandoned us to go have fun in town, only to come back late at night arond 12am.
Didn't go to the staff lounge on the last night because the two teachers were already sleeping inside.
Went to chiong sports in the ISH, first soccer then basketball and badminton.
Finally got to play badminton.
Seems like my skills had diminished a little but it wasn't that hard to get them back.
Then went back down because most people can't take it and were asleep already so there's nothing much to do there, not to mention that we were already freakin' tired too.
So we talked 'rock' for quite a while and used the laptop too before me Terry RW headed home.
Walked and walked and finally reached home at 5.20am I think.
Then bathed eat a little etc and went to bed.

Woke up damn late yesterday.
Then went to Bugis MRT at 7pm for dinner with Shooting people.
Almost got scammed by the MRT system because both the announcement and the electronic map and everything else was telling me that there's two more stops.
Luckily I noticed about the two stops lagging of the system just a station before Bugis.
So went down and followed HK to the steamboat shop.
Had our third steamboat, I think, until around 9.30pm.
Played 终极密码 again four times and I was lucky for all four times.
Took bus 12 back and it was still raining.
Like, when was it ever not raining since few days back?
Rain stop rain stop.
Changed to 28 at 201 and finally reached home at 11pm.

And I see tons of people now complaining about the rain.
Okay, it's pissing me off.
On sunny days people just complain about how hot the weather is and wish for it to rain.
During rainy days of course there're people who get so happy that it pisses me off too.
And now finally they agree with me how sucky it is to be raining, whole day, everyday.
And then people will start to think now that the best weather is of course to be cloudy without rain so there won't be the screwed up sun too.
Like how would it be called weather if it's the same everyday.
Just get over with it lah how long have you guys been living in Singapore already.
'The weather in Singapore is having PMS' and I just feel like screwing your ass.
Now I feel like an idiot too because I'm complaining about how people complain.
But I'm sorry this just pisses me off so bad that I have to rant like I always do when something pisses me off this bad.
The next time Singapore's weather get all bright and sunny, I will personally track down every single retard who used to complain about the lousy rainy weather and is also complaining about the sunny weather.

How much more fickle-minded can people get, seriously.

And it's not like a small complain, like somehow you need the whole world to know that you stupid tiny brain thinks the weather is screwed up like you're not.
Because I can be sure that no matter how screwed the weather is and even if it snows in Singapore nothing is more screwed when compared to your brain.
Get this straight and accept it.
If not, do something about it.
And that something's definitely not complaining to the world because it's not gonna freakin' help in anything.

Ohh and if there's really nothing you can do about it like when people complain you get pissed off and you can't really do anything about it because it's their brains their thoughts their mouths and what they think then you can just open up a blog write a diary talk to someone and just rant the shit out of it and feel shiok by the end of it.

Now I feel so good that I can fall asleep in 3minutes.

Well it's not, literally, but I certainly feel better than just now.
And also, more awake.
Shucks.

Byeall.

It goes on.

2011-01-27T03:43:00.002+08:00

It's been another week.
Had really wanted to blog in one of the past few days but was too lazy.

And I don't know why do I always have to leave blogging as the last thing I do before I shut down my com when I use com to almost 4am everyday.

So this is going to be another one-week-review of what happened in the past week.

Really couldn't remember what I did for last Thurs and Fri.
Should be slacking at home again?

Then for Sat went to Kembangan and played ball near Denie's house with they all.
After that had dinner with PLCo7 at round market's KFC.

Think I stayed home for Sunday too.

Went to watch Shaolin with Terry JJ RW on Monday.
Nice show and not draggy at all although it's 131minutes.
I think people need to learn to appreciate good movies or at least watch it knowing that it's in fact a movie and movie may not be the same as reality which is what we're currently experiencing in this world and our own life.
It's not like I can care about other people's opinions because each of us do things with different reasons and of course we get to choose how we react to certain stuff or what we do in different situations but yes at times people's actions do certainly pissed me off.
Well, it's just me and no one's at fault anyway so ranting here is probably the only wise thing to do.

Went to play ball at Kembangan CC on Tues morning.
Then had lunch with everyone at LJS at Paya Lebar.
After that they all went to Zhi Hong's house to play board games while I went home to shit sleep etc.
Wanted to just rest a while and watch TV after that.
But somehow even though I'm not asleep I can't bring myself up from the bed, and eventually I just fell asleep.
Not for long though, after an hour plus of charging I went to watch TV.
Then it was computer again.

Wednesday was a day of rain and heavy storms.
While it was just slight drizzle and passing rain clouds on Tuesday, it was raining for much of Wednesday and the sky was dark throughout the day.
Went for dinner with RW and Terry at 201.
Finally got to eat Bak Kut Teh because for the last four or five times there it's always sold out already.

Tomorrow having birthday party (?) for LK at Aquarius.
Not really sure how long is it or what I'm going to do there but just attending since birthday is for once a year.
Other than my family no one had really celebrated my birthday with me though.
But at least my friends send me their well-wishes.

Weekends are packed too.
This week is kinda busy and tiring while last week seems to be boring and simple.
I would really prefer a mix of both and have alternate days going out and staying home instead zzzZ.
Feel so bad to go out everyday and not spend some time at home although time spent home are mostly on the computer anyway.
And it's not like I really want to go out everyday too.
But if I were to choose I'll probably stay home for majority of the week than going out almost everyday of the week.

Well I won't have to worry about that any longer soon since it's officially two weeks left to enlistment.
Wow.
Things seem so real now, National Service, army life, trainings etc.
Not the type of life I want but not the choice I can make.

I'm not scared of the trainings though.
Other than cockroaches, there's probably only one other thing that really makes my list of fear.
Okay maybe there's other things that make the list too but this should be the top.
And really my biggest fear is only fear for the troublesome stuff.
At times when things just seem to can't get more complicated it's when I don't feel like caring anymore.
And this unsurprisingly stemmed from my unparalleled laziness.
When one person is this lazy, asking him to do things which are deemed as troublesome or out of his usual routine can be kinda tough.
And that reminds me of how change can also be top of my fear list.

But oh well these things are inevitable in life anyway.
And fearing certain things doesn't mean not having a way to deal with them.
There are just certain things I don't like to deal with but that doesn't mean I can't do it.

But this is life.
Deal with it man.
Whatever happens, life goes on.

Byeall.

Preparations.

2011-01-20T03:20:00.002+08:00

It's been another week.
Gone so fast.
Just so fast.

It's either my memory is really getting from bad to worse,
or... I really didn't do anything at all from last week till now.

Everyday just past by like any other day.
Doing pretty nothing much, day by day, week by week.
Preparation for CNY and also the ohh-so-troublesome NS gotta start soon too.

Yea still lazy.
Lazy like shit.
But this time it's gonna be two years and so I'll let myself off for whining so much.
Seriously, two years?
One year and ten months to be exact.
If that even makes me feel any better.

It doesn't.
But well it still makes a huge difference though.

It's like officially three weeks more to enlistment.

And it's like well I shall not talk about it anymore.
Just make sure I remember to prepare for it like I'm not even sure if I can get well-prepared enough for it by the time I go there.

Played ball today with Kenneth.
It's been a week I think.
So thanks a lot for coming all the way from Upper Thomson to play ball with me.
And doing so while still getting the unagi fish bone choked in your throat until you finally got it removed at CGH's A&E at like 8,9pm.

Didn't really went out much since last week IIRC.
And I should, it's just that I'm not really sure where did all the time went to.

I've finally finished reading 《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》 though.
But forgotten to bring it with me to return it to Kenneth zzz.
Sorta can't bear to return it too.
A really nice book I thought.

Gets me wondering.

Is my youth just gonna get burnt away like this?
My last year as a teenager.
Even in the army, I'll need to think of a way to spend it much more meaningfully than whatever I'm doing right now.

Byeall.

When life is a blur.

2011-01-13T22:20:00.002+08:00

Finally had our 23/09 chalet on Monday.
Really gotta thank LK and everyone who helped made it possible,
although the weather really wasn't on our side.
Rained the whole day on Monday and even at night the sky doesn't seem fine.
In the end we weren't able to barbeque at all.
Had to somehow cook our food in the kitchen to fill our stomach.

So we ended up just playing mahjong and stuff,
watching tv, eating tidbits etc for most of the night.
Miss Tan came to visit us for quite a while too.
Took hell lots of photos.
Went out for a little walk to the beach at around 2am 'cause we were really bored.
Gone back to the chalet after realizing that it's drizzling.
From then on it's just slacking around,
watching movie and playing a little mahjong.

Finally went to sleep at around 5+am.
Slept for like 3hours then went off after everyone woke up to catch the shuttle bus.
Then we had breakfast together at Mac at Whitesands.
So after which we all started heading back home,
with me and Freddy cabbing and dropping me off to bus home.

Bathed and settled down before falling asleep at 12plus.
And when I woke up it was just before 3pm.
So I rushed to school to play ball because I should've been there around an hour earlier.
Played till evening then had dinner opposite school.

Went to play ball the next day morning at Kembangan CC too.
That was yesterday.
Had quite a few intense matches and was really tired
after playing ball for two days in a row.
So headed home after that and slept quite a bit.

Slacked mostly for today as I woke up really late again.
Spent some time reading the book I borrowed from Kenneo damn long ago.
Could've finished it in like 2 or 3days actually,
but kept on doing other stuff or even doing nothing at all instead.
Maybe I'll try finishing it now/later or tomorrow,
then I can finally return it to him the next time I see him.

Well shall end the post here.
Should be making my new specs soon for army,
but most probably using a lousy phone and not getting another one.

Byeall.

Week into the year.

2011-01-09T20:32:00.002+08:00

It's been a week into the new year.
Now let me recall what had I been doing so far....

First day of 2011, on the Saturday,
went to eat with Chandan they all, V10 too at Simpang Bedok.
Pretty nothing much.
Didn't do much in the day too,
just slacking and then dinner with them at night.

Went to play ball with Kent on Sunday.
Didn't really play much too.
Terry came for a while but was having a slight fever
which he recovered from on that day itself
after heeding my advice.

Went to play ball on Monday too.
At Kembangan CC in the morning.
Took 28 and walked over to the CC after alighting.
Then when I walked past the restaurant which we lunched at the previous time,
I saw Denie and ZhiHong having breakfast.
And it's already been 10minutes past 9am.
So waited for them to finish up and headed to the CC together.
Stopped by Cheers for a while then saw Kenneo just coming out from the MRT Station.
So we finally reached the CC to see XuanZheng Roy Kentan already there.
Jasper came like 30mins later and so we just played among ourselves.
Had a few exciting matches.
Then the weather suddenly became damn nice,
so nice that it was followed by a heavy storm right after that.
So we left for lunch at BK at East Point.
Then me and kenneo witnessed how XZ eats for the first time.
Nice.

Went to catch The Tourist with Fattah Chandan Jansen and JJ on Tuesday.
Long interesting story to tell about this...
Started the day before when Chandan asked me for the movie.
Okay so we discussed a little, decided on time and place, and it was all settled.
Then later around midnight, RW suddenly asked me Terry and JJ for the movie.
So I waited to see what JJ gonna say,
then he said that he was going out.
Turns out that he didn't know we were going to catch the same movie.
And so I just replied that I was going out too,
with RW sounding extremely desperate to go out/watch the movie.
So I met Chandan at Tmall, and the rest soon came too.
Not much time left till the movie starts so we bought the tickets and went in straight.
It was the 2.30pm movie.
And just after we sat down, two guys came to sat right beside me.
It was Terry and RW.
Didn't know he was so despo for the movie that
he even don't mind watching with Terry alone.
So after that walked around a little then went to lan for an hour or so,
then walked home with Terry to save some bus fare.

Had lunch with SuTing RW on Wednesday at 201.
Finally ate there for the first time after its renovation.
Terry came just before RW left after his pilot test at CMPB.
So we chatted for quite a while before walking home.

Thursday was supposed to play ball with Kenneo.
But then he last minute ps so I just stayed home and slack.
The weather wasn't good anyway so nothing much I could do.

Went to play ball on Friday again at Fengshan CC in the afternoon.
Went to NAS before that for the orientation CCA display.
So pathetic that we had to build our pioneering structure in the quadrangle.
Stayed there for a while till around 3plus before heading to Fengshan CC.
And by that time the CC was quite crowded already,
first time playing there in the afternoon.
Waited a while before finally getting to play then just played all the way till evening.
Quite little people went with us that day.
So we were left with Jasper XZ Denie and me by 7pm.
Then we just walked while deciding where to go at that time.
In the end we went to 85 and had dinner.
Went straight home after that.

Slacked for both of yesterday and today.
Had wanted to go out with family but I got lazy again.
And after today it will officially be one month left till enlistment.

And it's just a few weeks left to CNY again.
So much things to prepare for.
These few weeks probably gonna be busy for everyone else too.

Still considering whether to meet ST CJ they all for the Man U-Liverpool match or not
since the weather doesn't seem too good at the moment.

23/09 chalet tomorrow, TJ open house on Tuesday,
then probably playing ball again on Wednesday.

Got a feeling this week gonna past soon too.
Shall end the post here for now.
Probably will blog later again, if not it will be after the chalet or few days later.

Byeall.

A New Year. 2011.

2011-01-01T03:11:00.002+08:00

Hello 2011.

Happy New Year, to everyone.

In the end I spent my last day of 2010 peacefully, at home.
"After all, 2011 is just another year and more time for us to do what we set out to accomplish."

I would love to think that way too.
And in fact I think most people think the same way.
What's different from today and yesterday?
It's just another brand new day,
same as what we had always been going through everyday.
Another year.

But if that's what I keep on thinking, it's not going to work out.
Time runs out one day.
We grow old one day.
Chances, opportunities slipped past us easily without us looking.

If we don't cherish what's in front of us,
and take the risk to say what we want to say, do what we want to do,
one day we would realize that there's still so many things
that we intended to do, but failed to do,
and possibly never ever able to do them in our life anymore.

When people set New Year resolutions,
what do they have in mind?
Are they really determined to accomplish all those things in that 365days?
Like really wanting to make sure that they can tick those things off in their checklist,
by the end of the year and get that wonderful sense of satisfaction?
Or are people just setting some goals 'cause it's been sorta like a annual routine,
and perhaps trying to complete some of the tasks,
while not really determined to finish off each and every of the things on the lists?

Sometimes I'm really lacking in determination and peseverance,
and I know it very clearly myself.
Yet I'm not doing anything,
that just shows how weak my mind is when it comes to these kind of things.

Maybe, I'll still try and set some realistic New Year resolutions,
and hope that 365 days later,
I can say proudly to myself, and everyone else that,
I've completed what I want to do for the year 2011
and I would be able to celebrate another new year with no regrets, at all.

As for now, I need to catch some sleep soon.
Probably playing ball tomorrow for a while.
So that's it.
One month left till NS.
Other than a camera-less phone, a new specs,
perhaps attempting to learn how to swim,
and training up my fitness level,
I guess there's nothing much I can do or need to do until 10 Feb '11.

And I just went to read my last post of 2009.
Hahah.
Much more meaningful than whatever I had been typing lately in my opinion.
Well, guess that somehow I just can't think the same as I did in the past.

And for the remaining time,
that's for enjoying life.(:

Wishing everyone a great year ahead,
for this is just the beginning of another wonderful year, 2011!!

Byeall.

Twenty-Ten.

2010-12-31T03:25:00.002+08:00

One year passed by again with so many things not yet done, so many wishes still unfulfilled

*going to pass by

In this remaining 21hours what can we do?
Say things you always wanted to say,
do things you had planned to do this year,
and make sure you celebrate the coming of 2011 without any regrets from 2010.

So it's been around a week since the last post.
Hasn't been doing much as usual.
Went to shoot some hoops on last Sunday.
Monday was mum's birthday and we went out.
Walked around in IMM, had dinner,
bought the birthday cake then went home.

Slacked at home on Tuesday.
Watched TV, computer, usual stuff, nothing much.

Went to play ball on both Wed and Thurs morning.
Wed at Fengshan CC and Thurs at Kembangan CC.
Quite tiring for both days.
But probably mostly due to lack of sleep hahah.
Wasn't really entirely physically exhausted for both days.
But still I had quite a few hours' nap just now at night.

And now it's 31st December 2010.
2010 gonna be over soon and this year would never return,
just like the previous ones.

J2 life. Shooting Nationals. A levels. Graduation.
These more or less defined 2010 for me.
Kinda tired now so can't really think of other stuff.
Lectures, and ponning lectures, basketball after school, studying in library, expo, canteen etc and playing ball with friends due to inability to resist temptation, PE lessons, all the different tutorials with Ms Tan, Mrs Tan, Mr Fazli, Mr Tong, Mr Foo, interesting Civics lessons, the tutorials in the GO block this year and the memorable ones in TA block last year, all the fun of PW in J1 and finally getting our well-deserved A's this year, making new friends, hanging out with old friends etc.
2010 is another year with uncountable events and happenings.
And together with those in 2009 these 2years had been different from before,
and life goes on after finally completing JC.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh 2010 is ENDING.
20 more hours now.
A new year signals a new beginning and a new chapter in our lives.
The book is not yet close as a new page is being flipped.
Put the past behind and head towards the next stage of our lives as we always did to record more great stories and adventures through life.
Years later we would be reading these pages and stories, thinking back in life.
And no one would want to feel any regrets while doing that.

Goodbye, 2010.

Hello, 2011.

Byeall.

2r6o6 Chalet 2010.

2010-12-24T01:42:00.002+08:00

Christmas eve now.

21st was the start of 2ro6 chalet '10.
6th chalet, once per year, since sec1.
Didn't attend the sec1 chalet though,
so it's the fifth 2r6o6 chalet I've attended already.

And every year I get more sleeping time, on the bed.

This time it's at Costa Sands Downtown East resort.
Just a small room with aircon, TV, toilet, wardrobe etc.
Originally our room number was 1234, a super nice number.
Then on that day when TeckLi finally came one hour late at 3pm to check in,
we got the 1224 key and we didn't think much 'cause we thought that it was changed on the spot.
And it's only when the 1224 people came to check in
that the management realized that they gave the wrong key and called us.
We told them about the warm aircon too and they sent people up to fix.
At that time only me, cj, tl were in the room
as rs, ks, gordon and hx went to buy the BBQ stuff.
So when they finally came back we went for a walk around Downtown.
Then the ordered food from bbqwholesale came too.
Somehow I kept walking to and fro between the chalet and Ehub during that time.
Then the BBQ finally got started and more people came too.

So it was evening and thank god the weather was fine, perfect for BBQ.
That was also the time when most people were present at the chalet.
Chatted a little with different people and ate some food,
and went back up when I was feeling not so hungry already.
Then we chatted in the room while the girls were still downstairs at the BBQ pit.
Chatted for quite a while before Fattah they all decided that it's time to head for home.
Sent him and Jansen back then went back to the chalet again.
Then slacked a little I think, and went to chat with GY and TL downstairs
after CJ left to slack at his breakwater or somewhere at Pasir Ris Park.
Went back up later and they played in-between.
Didn't play since the risk was too big after my evaluation,
and after GY won quite an amount of money again, just like last year,
they made a wrong choice of asking him to be the banker for blackjack....
And of course I won't dare to play with him as the banker hahah.
He played with suting's money and won him around 10bucks from just a few dollars.
And of course the games stopped after everyone lost all the way.
And CJ finally came back around 3hrs later at 4am,
after slacking and chatting with his new fisherman friend.

Went out to mac to chat and have breakfast at around 5plus I think.
KS and Gordon was already there 'cause KS doing his work,
and RS, YeeLing, Amanda and BeeCheng were there already too.
So left the others back in the chalet to sleep.
Had a long breakfast and then GY, CJ left afterwards.
Finally went back to the chalet in hope of being able to get a place to sleep at around 7plus.
And me and ST also bathed at that time.
Blah blah blah more slacking in the chalet and waiting for people to get up so that we can sleep.
Ended up slept around 1 or 2 hours by 1pm.
Theresa they all went to GY's house to get free tickets to WWW at around 9am.
So most of the time I just stayed in the chalet sleeping and trying to sleep.
Then they left for WWW so only me and ST were left in the chalet.
Woke up at 1plus for lunch when Chris came back for WWW too.
Actually was already freakin' hungry at 10plus.
It's just so true that now I sleep not because I'm sleepy or tired,
but because I'm starving hahaha.

Went to have lunch with ST at the foodcourt after that.
Then went back and got saved by HX and his DVDs.
Watched The Dark Knight after we got back until 4plus 5pm.
ST was like watching and sleeping at the same time.
And so GB came on that day too and went with RS they all somewhere or what.
By the time they came back the movies was ending already.
Then the WWW people came back soon after.
Blackjack a while with ST as the banker.
Only won a little but 小赌怡情 so I stopped 'cause I know the limits of gambling haha.
And the round after I stopped ST got blackjack hahah.

Went to eat dinner with TL at Just Acia 'cause he was almost dying of hunger.
Then the rest went to the Hong Kong Cafe at Ehub a while later,
with ST joining us at Just Acia.
Then they abolished the original plans of going bowling,
'cause some people were going home already and there weren't too many keen of going bowling.
So all of us went back to the chalet and played slapjack/smackjack for quite a while.
And everyone was getting their voices lost and hands red
from all the shouting screaming and smacking each other.
Then Theresa Chris YeeLing Amanda left after that.
So the chalet was just left with guys now.
ST KS HX Gordon TL and me.
Then it was mahjong for a few hours.
And people started going to sleep.
TL slept the earliest but didn't really sleep properly I guess haha.
Then ST HX Gordon all went to bed at around 3plus.
And I went to bed too soon after.
Then at 5am TL woke me up to borrow toothpaste so I went to take his place and continued sleeping since he wasn't sleeping anymore because mosquitoes are biting.
So I woke up latest at almost 11am then we just went to check out and things.

Came home, used com a little and had lunch,
then slept for a few hours till 5.30pm.
Then it's just the usual boring holidays things.

2r6o6 chalet 2010 was finally over and I've gotta
really thank RuiShan and KinSeng for making this possible,
and many others for coming and enjoying yourselves during the chalet.
Every year, more specifically from sec4's onwards,
we've been wondering if we're going to have another 2r6o6 chalet the following year.
And up till now there's already another 2more ever since we graduated from NAS.
Next year gonna be slightly different though as JC kids are entering NS and Uni already.
Sound so grown up already haha.
NS and University.
So much different from Secondary School and JC lives.
The poly people would be in their last school year.
Let's just hope that somehow the chalet will be here again next year.
Until then, it's just about continuing to move on,
and adapt with changing lifestyles from now on.

Christmas' coming and 2010 is ending soon too.
Almost every year I say this,
but next year will be full of changes, much more than ever.
From Sec2 to Sec3, to Sec4 O levels,
to JC, a new school and environment,
then to J2 with A levels and JC graduation,
none of these can compare to life next year.
No more schooling until 2years+ later.

Gonna catch a movie later.
So I shall end my post here for now.

Another post dedicated to 2r6o6 Chalet,
so that in the future I would come back and read about the chalet every year.
As long as there are still people looking forward to this chalet every year,
I hope that I'll continue to have a post about it every year.

Byeall.

Life after A's.

2010-12-21T03:17:00.003+08:00

Had been wanting to blog since like 5days ago but was always too lazy....
And everytime when I finally make up my mind to blog it's like 3,4am haha.
It's like now.
3.18am.

But I shall blog now before tomorrow's 2r6o6 chalet.

Can't really remember all the stuff which happened after I last blogged.
I think the weekend after I last blogged is just about slacking at home?
Which day isn't about slacking anyway.
Now that I think of it, time really flies.
There seems to be so many things I promised myself to do,
but how many of them did I really accomplish after A's?

Okay so last Monday.
Think that was the Monday I went to Tmall to eat with KS.
Yes that should be it.
Stayed there and walked around a little before heading back home.
Pretty nothing much there.

Tuesday, went to sort of help Chandan out with his backwoodsman.
So me RenWei Terry went along with him to East Spring Sec to do bwm,
with 3 of us there to assist him a little and give him moral support.
Hmm now what did I do on Wednesday...
I remembered I woke up to deliver umbrella to my mum and sis 'cause it was raining.
Then had my lunch and... ohh we went to Pan's house to play.
Played some games on ps2 and had some fun then back home again.

So it's Thursday now.
Went to play ball in the morning with Jasper, Kenneo,
and also with HJ and 2209 ppl etc at Fengshan CC.
Initially it was at Kembangan CC,
but since we didn't have enough people,
and 2209 was coincidentally playing on that day too at Bedok CC,
the venue was changed to Bedok CC.
Then when I reached there the whole place was under construction.
So we went to Fengshan CC instead.
Finally got to play ball after quite long.
But jj rw terry was helping Chandan with aspire too in the morning.
Just in my last game before I left to have lunch with them,
I was driving in and looking for a pass when an arm came in my way right on my nose.
First time I played ball till nosebleed zzzz.
So cleaned up a while, rest a little and left to tmart to have lunch with Chandan they all.
After that we were back in NAS practicing knots and stuff.
Then we went to East Spring Sec to get some stuff/pass some stuff etc.
Only managed to get home quite a while later...

And on Friday I supposed I did nothing, as in I stayed home for the day.
Finally watched my 小鱼儿与花无缺 'cause I missed the last few episodes.
This is like the second or third time they aired the show again,
but since 2.30 to 3.30 is a time which normally I just got up and got nothing to do,
it became an everyday thing for me to catch the show hahah.

On Saturday went to play ball again with terry they all.
Then when kent came we went 209 and played there till 6plus I believe.
Good exercise.
Think this week gonna play ball again, after the chalet.
And Denie they all are back from China too, should play ball soon,
maybe after Kenneo comes back from Vietnam.
Omg so many people get to go overseas,
from Korea to Japan to China to SEA countries or even as far as Europe T-T
So goooooood life.
But nevermind I shall enjoy myself back here in SG as much as possible too. (:

Sunday stayed home, watch tv and play com too.
Then today, Monday, went out with family to Nex, the newly opened shopping mall.
Quite a big shopping mall with many shops,
and many shops which sell food!
So had dinner there too before coming back home.

Okay chalet tomorrow.
Although this had happened like since 2years back,
I'm really questioning if there will be another chalet next year.
I think most people would be thinking of that too, since few years back.
But this time, it will be the last one before JC guys enter NS and girls enter Uni.
Don't know when we can meet again though haha.
So I hope that everyone attending the chalet would be able to enjoy it to the fullest!
Speaking about chalets... the 2309 one's coming up soon too on 10th Jan.
Not really considered 'soon' but I bet when it comes
I'll still feel like the 2r6o6 chalet just ended.
This is how fast time flies for life after A levels.

Ohh and if you're wondering what about the rest of the time I spent at home....
I've been playing... Maplestory.
Thanks to renwei.
He had got me terry and jj all into mapling.
And the first time I played in a long time I was so amazed.
Training is so so so much easier than it was in the past.
But when I logged out at that time,
I was like what the hell am I doing.
Hah.
And then I still continued to play till now,
although my playing time had reduced largely.
In the end it's still just a game
and I simply couldn't let myself spend too much time on it.
That's why I need a better hobby instead.
Less than two months to enlistment.
Some people are still saying that's a lot of time, for some reason.
But I know it myself,
it isn't a lot, because 10 Feb '11 is going to be here much sooner than you know it.

Okay basically these are just the things I wanted to blog about.
My life after A levels.
Not exactly happening, maybe a little boring,
but years later when I read my own posts I would know what happened after A's.
By now I think most people had already forgotten about the A's.
It just seemed so long ago when it just ended less than a month.
One month seemed so long to us now when we look back
yet could past by us in our lives like a jetplane in full speed now.
I guess that's just how life work and we can only accept it.

Gotta sleep now 'cause don't think I'll be sleeping much in the next two nights!

Byeall.

Graduation Night.

2010-12-09T04:36:00.002+08:00

Or Prom.
Whatever you call it.

It was on 7th December 2010,
TJC's GradNight 2010, at Marina Mandarin.
Reached there around 6.10pm on my dad's car.
Met with some of my friends, waited for the rest.
Took a few photos, walked around a little.
Chit-chat, looked around, waiting for the dinner to start.

So finally we were able to get seated.
Many people are still walking around,
talking to friends, taking photos.
Then the dinner started.
I don't know why the dish always comes late for our table zzzz.
Then came the dance performance.... by our school's modern dance club haha.
Some games, and prom king and queen etc.
And lucky draw.
So sad that kangwei lost his ticket when his number
was announced for the first prize.
It was a free iPod Touch damn lol.
So in the end another person got it and
after that he found his ticket again.
Second prize was overnight stay for 2 in Marina Mandarin.
Can't really remember the others,
think 5th was iPod shuffle.
And the rest are just vouchers, from 6th to 15th.

And so the dinner ended around 10pm or 10something.
And most people didn't even manage to eat the dessert.
By the time it came lights were dim and people were either
walking around, on stage, or outside already.
Talking to each other, enjoying themselves, taking photos etc.
So spent quite a while taking pictures with everyone else after that.
I think I took damn little photos though.
And finally left at 11plus.
Was waiting for kenneth to see if there's any plans,
or just to walk out together.
And then he just went off with his gf after talking to her for quite a while.
So we waited for nothing and just walked out after that.
More than half the people had left already.
And the rest were probably either staying over
or had plans on going somewhere else.
So walked to take bus10, and switched to bus12 then walked home.
Reached home just before 1am.

Slept till damn late today.
Just didn't feel like waking up at all
since there's practically nothing much for me to do.
Okay actually there is,
it should be nothing much I felt like doing.
And now it's already 4.47am and I should be in bed.
For weeks after this I hope I actually will have fun and be enjoying
instead of wasting my life away or doing nothing much.
Not like I'm really rotting at home but....

JC life is finally really over
and the only thing left is collecting the results next year.

Time to move on in life....

Byeall.

It felt like...

2010-12-05T04:08:00.003+08:00

It's Sunday now.
Almost a week after A levels ended.
And it felt like,
it felt like, A levels almost never happened because
it felt like it was lightyears ago when we were still studying for it.
Of course, at time, it felt like it was just yesterday
when we just finished with O levels, received the results,
and entering JC life trying to adapt to it.

But now, it felt like,
it felt like this should have never ended because there're still so many things undone.
Just so many things unfufilled
and so many things we could've done instead.
Then again it felt like,
this is possibly the best JC life because we lived it ourselves.
No regrets.
We may think back at times, think about the 'what-ifs',
think about how things can be done in a 'better way'.
But in the end we knew there's nothing wrong with what we'd done too anyway.
'Cause it felt like, it just felt like, somehow,
we've done the right things at the right time,
we've also done the wrong things at the wrong time,
but things came out fine and we are where we are now.
It felt like, if I'm given a second chance,
my JC life will probably be around the same.
It just felt like that.
That's just how I felt.

It felt like I've got all the time in the world now.
Then again it felt like I don't have so much time in reality
and still I'm not making good use of the time I have.

It felt like everything's good and fine in one moment.
Then it felt like everything basically crashed, crashed completely in the next.
It felt like nothing's gonna go wrong.
Then it felt like nothing's ever going right.

It felt like...

It just felt like, this. Just felt like this.
Everything, just felt, like this.

Byeall.

A Levels: The Last Paper

2010-11-29T00:57:00.003+08:00

Been around 5 days since Physics Paper 3.
Since the second last paper of A levels.
And it seemed like A levels was actually over long ago
when there's still the last paper tomorrow.
And after tomorrow it can truly be said that
we will be able to not think about all that we've learnt in JC anymore.

At least for now.

Had not been doing much for the past few days actually.
Finally caught HP7 with the rest on Thursday.
Almost didn't manage to watch it.....
So played ball for a while on Friday before going to GY's birthday chalet.
Had quite a good time there.
Seeing so many people whom I've not met for quite a while.
In the end decided to stay over with Suting, Pan, Teckli.
There's another bastard who was supposed to stay over.
But at 2am plus CJ walked home.
All the way from downtown back to his house in Tampines.
Slept at around 6plus in the chalet.
Went for breakfast with teckli and suting at KFC at 8plus 9.
Then reached home around 12 to sleep for like 6hours.
Didn't do much after waking up too.
Thanks gy for inviting us to his chalet.

13 hours to the last paper.
And 14 hours and 15 mins to the end.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........................
I just hope for it to be over soon
and that I would really do meaningful things in my remaining 2months.
Or at least enjoy myself enough.

Byeall.

Last week of the end.

2010-11-25T16:16:00.004+08:00

Felt like it's been so long since I last logged in.
But seeing that the last post was a week before A levels,
it's like these few weeks just went by so fast.
And thinking back, it's the same with my JC life.

Everything felt like it just happened yesterday.
Then again, so many things had happened and changed since graduating from secondary school.
And now we're finally done with JC too.

It's just a month and a week away from another new year.
Another time with new beginnings.
The images from the last time this happened was still so vivid in my mind.
People setting new year resolutions,
most of us determined to study hard for year2 etc.
This will be one thing that's gonna change much come next year.

I've only got a little more than two months from now.
Better hope that I'll do something worthy before enlistment.

This is the last week of the end.
I shall try my best not to forget any Physics stuff before the last paper next Monday.

The weather doesn't seem too fine.
Finally gonna catch HP7 later.
Hope that the weather's good at least until I get to the cinema.
GY's chalet tomorrow.
Shall reserve Sunday for studying Physics MCQ.
So I'm still left with Saturday to do my own things.
Hmm the best thing I can think of doing outside is basketball,
and the best thing staying home would be sketching.
Really, it's been ages.
I just need to get it going to continue,
but it's certainly much easier to start sketching than to study anyway.

Guess that the post's long enough.
Probably gonna blog at a higher frequency like before from now on.

Byeall.

Last Week. To The Beginning of The End.

2010-11-03T03:28:00.002+08:00

Finally it's the one last week left till A levels.
3rd November.
Just imagine adding a 6 to that number.
Somehow I still don't sense it coming so close at us,
but at times it can really be suffocating people, including me.

Then when we got the time to take a step back and catch our breathe,
we realized that, it's still not time for that.

Not now, especially.
I would be so glad if this thought had remained on my mind since weeks ago.
Would be even relieved if I can keep this thought from now on, all the way.

Maybe from now on, I shall remind myself in my sleep,
and constantly attempt to hypnotize myself, in my sleep,
that I need to work the hardest I can because it's the only chance.
For lazy people, like me, or perhaps only me,
I do not give my everything because of the mindset that there's always a next time,
there's always a try again if you fail,
there's always a this is not everything in your life.
But sad to say, A levels for now is almost everything to us.
Making it sound so important yet not taking the appropriate actions,
this just sounds like me all year long.
Maybe it's through the blogging and whatever that I can constantly remind myself how much an impact this is going to make on my life and so the effort put in had to be proportionate.

And I don't know if this had helped
but I certainly hoped that my essay writing skills had improved.
Don't think I've got the time now to do much about my GP
since I need to do much more for other subjects.
But after quite an improvement from last year's U grade,
my grades had been on a decline.
Well GP wasn't on any of my priority lists anyway, since the start.
It will just be a bonus if I'm able to do well for it,
though it's not like I couldn't care less unless I fail it too.
An average grade of around D or C makes sense to me for now.
I'll just see how it goes from here onwards.
I really need to rescue my Physics and Economics
and they certainly deserve more attention than GP anyway.

In the end I still got long-winded and extended my supposed short post.
Shall end it here.
It's 3.39am of 3rd November and the storm outside seems to have calmed down a little.
But the storm which had been brewing in my heart and mind might have just begun to take its form.
Things seem peaceful and all are good.
But that's exactly the signs of a forthcoming storm isn't it.

Byeall.

Graduation.

2010-10-25T21:55:00.002+08:00

Just realized that this is my 301st post.

Finally graduated, today.
Had my last official assembly in the Audi due to the rain,
last civics with my CG,
and then the farewell concert,
which was enjoyable for most of the time except for some fail performances.

This feeling is not very pleasant I would say.
Graduate from Pri Sch, choose a Sec Sch, look forward/get nervous about it,
and when the day comes just try your best to adapt.
Graduate from Sec Sch, choose a JC/Poly,
same process, same thing, same thoughts.
And now comes a day when I finally graduate from JC.
It just doesn't feel right.
What awaits me next year is two years of National Service
instead of lectures or lessons in classrooms.
What is coming in two weeks' time
will be potentially the biggest turning point in my life.
For now the only thing I can say is that
the future remains a mystery shrouded in darkness
instead of the usual 'normal boring' school-life every year.
Well, what can we do.
Life goes on.
走一步算一步。

So after the farewell concert went to Airport's Swensens with my class.
Had lunch there and finished around 2pm.
Some went home, some went to study.
I took the train with some others and alighted just one stop at the Expo.
Studied at the Expo for more than 3hours.
And for the past few days I think I've only been doing Physics all the time.
And I still don't think that it's gonna be enough.

Something tells me that I'm not gonna make it for Physics in the A levels.
Something just tells me that.
It had became hard to just shrug off that thought and concentrate
because it had been haunting my mind since afternoon.
This is good anyway.
I need some pressure, I need some stress.
All these just fuel my motivation to study even more.
I told myself, two weeks seem to be just fine.
But now I look at it, and I think, is two weeks really enough?

Whatever, no one can tell me what to do now.
Because all I can do is just to thrash it all.
For myself. And no one else.

Enjoying studying guys.
All the best to everyone.

Byeall.

Now or Never.

2010-10-11T15:00:00.003+08:00

School is as boring as ever.
Mock papers for the next few days.
Maybe it would be better to do one thing at a time
than to do a few things at once then mess it up together.
Two more weeks of school.

And so my Prelims results was
GP - E - 45
Chem - C - 58.3
Phy - D - 51.5
Math - C - 57.5
Econs - U - 29.4

Econs is really screwed. Getting U at this point of time.
And somehow our school's papers are actually a lot easier than some other JCs I think...
And still I'm not doing as well as I should.
According to their previous moderation,
I should be getting some around EDDEU instead.
And it's only re-moderated after complaints about difficulties in applying scholarships.

Apart from Maths,
A just seems so impossible for everything other subject.
Maybe an A is not that necessary for GP,
but even for Chem Phy and Econs it seems that I'll not be getting them.
Everyone screwed econs.
But they did well for the rest of the subjects.
This gives them time to work harder for Econs.
Not for me though.
For someone who need to put in equal efforts for all subjects
because everything is just so not there yet,
I'd really be happy if I can get 72hours per day.
Okay, maybe even just 48 'cause I shouldn't be too greedy.

Well time to work hard.
It's just less than one month left.
We will all make it.

It's now or never.

Byeall.

Five Weeks.

2010-10-02T01:55:00.002+08:00

And so I've only blogged once in the whole of September.
How awesome is that.

Got back some of my results this week.
Should have CCD by now if there's no moderation.
And I hope that they don't moderate the grades up
because it seems that many people are doing quite well.
Physics is as screwed up as ever and a D is alright though.
19/40 for MCQ, 1/12 for planning are crazy.
I don't even know how the hell did all these happened but anyway it all happened already.
Only got 4 questions wrong for the first 20questions of chem MCQ,
and for the next 20, only 5 correct.
How pro is that.
I don't even know if I'm the only one doing the questions for all the forty questions
or did my other personality or what came out and did half of the questions.
Hoped for a B for math but knew that it was not possible after seeing my paper 1 marks.
64 for a paper which I though could've done better in is not going to help
when I know that I have thoroughly screwed paper 2 up.
Didn't study stats enough I guess even though I had the weekends to do so.
Still slacking too much and not starting to study early enough,
and not studying enough when I got the time to do so.

Well Prelims are over and as long as I continue to improve it is alright.
Nothing else I can do about them already anyway.
Haven't got back Econs and GP.
These two are the usual papers to get back late.
Both screwed up papers anyway.
Got 7/30 for CSQ2 of econs.
Hope that I can do well for GP though.
Would really give me a morale booster if I did well for the essay.

Played basketball today,
for quite a while after school ended at 10.50am
and then again from 4plus onwards to around 7.
Then I got home and helped my sis with some physics MCQ.
My physics sucks. My MCQ sucks.
And both statements were just proved to be true once again.
It's better than previously already though,
and would definitely continue to be better.
So I got mentally and physically tired.
But somehow even after playing basketball today
I wasn't in a really good mood just now.
Don't even know what I'm getting frustrated over.
Anyway I need and must study from tomorrow onwards.
Haven't been doing anything this week I think.
Gotta step up some more and continue all the way till A levels from now on.

Byeall.

September.

2010-09-25T22:57:00.002+08:00

Haven't blog in September at all.
It's been more than three weeks until now.
Probably the longest period which I didn't blog for quite a while already.

September was all just about Prelims actually.
2weeks of Prelims, more than 1week of hols to prepare for it.
That's about it.
All of September until now just for Prelims.
And it was all finally over yesterday.
Although to most of us it felt like it was already over on Tuesday.

Finally got to play ball again on Tues and yesterday too.
And also the last Friday.
Before that it was the first Saturday of study break,
where I sorta sprained my right ankle a little.
Got tons of time to rest anyway since everyone was busy studying too,
and I had to study too so no time for ball.

Yesterday was quite a long day.
After finally finish Physics MCQ,
we went opposite to eat breakfast.
Then there was a short drizzle.
After that went back to school to play ball.
Went home at 1plus to catch the final episode of A计划.
Weather was getting damn hot too anyway.
Then slept till around 5pm after that.
Went out at 7plus to meet Jansen and the rest for dinner and movie.
Went out too early 'cause I overestimated the time I need to reach Tmall zzZ.
Ended up reaching there at 7.40pm when we're meeting at 8pm.
So just walked around a little while waiting for the rest.
Ate at Long John after that.
So we went to Century Square to find Chandan after dinner,
then watched Resident Evil.
Heard that the show is kinda crappy, and yes it was indeed.

So we all just went home after the movie.
Borrowed the gameboy sp charger from Chandan since I can't find mine anyway.
Suddenly missed playing Pokemon and all that. Haha.
Probably won't get to play much since A's is coming in a month and a half's time.
Shall use it to entertain myself a little when I get really bored though.

Just gonna slack for these few days for now.
And next week onwards it's a short timetable.
End latest at around 12plus I think.
Yea so should use all the extra time given to us to study even more.
Hopefully I do that.

Really don't have much to blog about even though it's been 3weeks
since all the time I had just been studying for Prelims.
Not say that I really spend all my time studying,
but at least most of the time I do that.
And for the rest of the time there isn't much to blog about too.

Shall end the post here.
Will be back in the next week probably,
to blog about my... results.

Byeall.

Study Break.

2010-08-31T23:16:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's September already.
Means there's almost exactly just two months left till A's.

Two months.

Less than two weeks to Prelims too.
But sometimes just by seeing all the stuff I have to study for,
I felt as though I would not be able to make it anymore.

Anyway, today was Teacher's Day celebrations.
Sorta wasted my time in school.
The performance of edited Bad Romance by Music Box
was extremely entertaining and hilarious.
No sign of good singing though.
Other than that, the other performances were fine,
with a few being a little boring.
Didn't go anywhere after school too.
Studied a little but was too tired and unmotivated to continue.
Didn't go back to NAS either.
Just went home to eat bath TV and sleep.
And sleep more.
Woke up at 9plus and caught the last episode of Unriddle,
which is still a riddle.
Then came to use com.

Should I study later?
Or maybe I should just go to sleep
to make up for the loss of it over the past few days.
Don't exactly know why am I so tired too,
but somehow haven't been getting enough rest for quite a while already.

Guess I'll decide while watching the match of China vs Puerto Rico.
Tomorrow dinner with Andrew Sir and the others.
Maybe after that I'll just stay at home all the way to study,
that is if I can study efficiently and sufficiently at home.
Or maybe I'll just go to the expo,
provided that it would still be conducive enough.
Or any other places I can hide at to study.
And maybe just one day for playing ball out 'cause somebody had been
so busy all the time and this week is perhaps the last chance.
Haven't met up with panda too.
Probably won't be able to do so in the next few weeks though,
unless it's early next week.

Study Break.
Take a break from studying.

Byeall.

It might be a level higher, but I'll still go a little further.

2010-08-27T00:12:00.005+08:00

TGIF.
Although I was already feeling like it's the weekends since this evening.
Okay not really,
'cause I would need to study like mad if it's really the weekends.
Or rather I hope that I'll do that instead of what I did just now.
Nothing.

Finally half a day of lessons, then it's two more days of self-study, and rest.
Should be playing ball again after school.
But just in case anything happens,
I'll just go to my backup plan of studying studying studying.
Just freakin' realized again that there's really too much to study for.
Had only been doing Chem and Math more recently,
okay actually ever since quite long ago.
And I realized even for just these two subjects there's
already a mountain full of information and stuff to remember and practice for.
Now if my two slightly better subjects is in this situation,
just what is going to happen to Physics and Econs?!?!
Die. It's the only word and the simplest one which can express my thoughts perfectly.

So what can I do?
Studying seems to be the only choice and also the best choice.
But how?
The worst is when you don't know what else to do anymore.
It's not like I've done everything I could already,
it's just that I've already identified too many things to be done.
Too many. Just too many.
Just thinking about it can make me feel like sleeping all day until A lvls are over and not giving a damn about all these.
Fortunately I'm not too stupid to attempt that.

Yes it may be a level higher than I imagined.
But this ain't going to stop me from going any further.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
No matter how many more thousand miles is ahead of me,
as long as I'm willing to first take this single step,
nothing's gonna stop me.
If it's a level higher than I thought, I'll just go two levels higher than I would had.
Every level higher is a challenge to yourself,
and everytime you find yourself going to the next level
you're breaking through your limits and also undergoing self-discovery.
Even if it might be a hundred levels higher than where I am now,
I'll just make the effort to go another hundred and one levels.
To be at the top.
To win the rest.
To be the best.

Cool man so inspired by my own motivational speech especially the last part which rhymes.
All talk and no action is not going to get me going though,
just like how if I'm started nothing can stop me.

Shall go to sleep now and prepare for tomorrow.
And then tomorrow night it could possibly a night of fun and enjoyment with my notes.

Byeall.

To be the best, the best that I can be.

2010-08-22T19:33:00.004+08:00

And now it's down to just three more weeks.
Maybe I should set a realistic goal to push myself to study more.
In the end it's always the stress that motivates people the most.

And I should really really start sleeping earlier too.
Earlier, not early.
Maybe like 11 everyday or what.
That will give me more energy the next day to focus in school.
Weekends too.
I should just wake up early to study
instead of sleeping late to study zzzZ.
And it's not like it's been really effective anyway.

YOG will be ending soon.
Who knows when will it be the next time Singapore's going to organize such an event.
Shooting event starts today.
And last till Wednesday.
Can't watch it though due to the most obvious reason.
Shooting isn't really that fun to watch anyway haha.
But still I miss the sport I've been learning for only a little more than a year.
For this week maybe I should just visit the range on Friday
instead of playing ball from afternoon to evening.

Okay just finished my dinner and now seems like a good time to start studying.
If I don't start now, then when will I?
I'll never be able to overtake the others if I don't start now.
It's not about just catching up, but about overtaking others.

It is to be the best, the best that I can be.

When I know that I need to be the best, I will.
And now's the time.

Byeall.

Pre-Preparation.

2010-08-19T00:16:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was the boring long day.
Double chem, chem protected time, chem lect zzZ.
Didn't study for the planning anw.
Didn't study for transition metals either.
Ended at 3plus then got back to 201 in an attempt to study with suting.
Didn't mange to study a lot though.
Too long didn't do calculus and didn't bring my notes too.
Haha so in the end studied like 2hrs then eat dinner
then talk somemore with suting and went home.

Today was the Econs mock.
Almost didn't study at all.
Only read role of govt but didn't really remember the stuff.
Didn't use them in the test anyway.
2 CSQ and 1 Essay in a row can really be a killer though.
Felt damn tired and sleep halfway through.
Today's lesson was rather slack though.
GP discussed about philosophy.

'I think, therefore I am' -- Rene Descartes

Philosophy is sure complicated but can be interesting too.
I won't take it as an academic subject though.
But if given a chance maybe I'll like to study it more indepth.

Tomorrow's Thursday again.
Somehow every Thurs I'll get the freakin' tired until I want die feeling
in the morning when I go to school.
Thankfully tomorrow's lessons aren't that crazy.
Double GP at the end of the day should be the most tiring one.
Ohh and not forgetting Econs lecture zzZ.
Ending at 3 is quite good though.
Can go study earlier and study more before going home.
And hope this time I'll really study effectively.

Shall go off now in hope that I won't get the freakin' tired until I want die feeling again tomorrow.
Ohh and Singapore got a Silver medal now, in addition to the 2 Bronze medals hahah.

Byeall.

Same old thing.

2010-08-16T22:20:00.002+08:00

Almost one week since I last blogged.
Had been kinda busy since then.
And there's even two days which I didn't use com.
The last time I didn't use com was probably during June Camp
'cause I wasn't even at home hahah.

Went back NAS on Wednesday 'cause I had to meet Jeremy Sir to collect the badges.
Stayed for the Scout meeting till the end.
Chatted with Nigel Kevin they all a little.
Then went home and rested a bit while waiting for Jeremy Sir to contact me.
So finally I met him at my house carpark to collect
the badges he donated for Chandan's Badge Patch Carnival.

Went school as normal on Thursday.
Then took MRT to Bishan straight after school to have lunch
and to help Chandan in the preparations of his BPC.
It's only halfway there when I realized he wasn't even going to be there
until around 7pm.
Luckily Jyang came and kept me company for majority of the time.
It's kinda stupid to stay with a bunch of Scouts
especially when they're the only ones needed to do the work.
Stayed till quite late though.
Around 11pm.

Friday played basketball for a while after school.
Weather was freakin' hot when we played.
Then I went to Bishan with Kenneo to have lunch.
So he went home after that while I go to the HQ again to help Chandan again.
Stayed till around 10 then went home with Chandan Terry.
Slept almost straight as I got home again.
And the next day will be the day of the event itself.

So Saturday was the BPC.
Went to HQ by bus with Terry.
The event was quite successful as a whole.
Everyone did their job and was tired at the end of the day too.
So at evening finally the cleaning up was done.
Then a short debrief and the committee along with some of us went to have dinner together.
In the end came back Tampines Mall to eat Mac.
Went home after that and finally got to use com.

Didn't do anything on Sunday either.
Slept till quite late.
Woke up, slack, then went to 209 earlier to take a look before having dinner
with Chandan, JJ, GaoYang Renwei.
Went home and watch tv, then watched parts of the match of Arsenal and Liverpool.

Basically did nothing today as well.
Was damn tired in school.
Intended to go study after school.
But changed my mind halfway through school.
Came home watched yog a bit, had lunch then rested.
And then I fell asleep until 8plus.
Had dinner and watched tv then I'm here now.
Think I'll be off to do some work to prepare for tomorrow then.

Byeall.

Amazing Crap.

2010-08-10T23:02:00.003+08:00

Only did some work today.
Finally school's starting again tomorrow.
Felt like so long had past since the last time we had lessons.
Somehow nowadays even normal 2days weekends seem kinda long to me.
Probably it's due to the fact that I'm slacking most of the time
and doing nothing over that two days.

If I'm not wrong we're entering out fifth last week until Prelims.
Can't really believe the calmness I have while typing that,
seeing my not so marvelous results during the JCTs.
Well this week should pass very soon since there's only three days left
and I might be going to get quite busy.
Maybe after that I'll be able to sit down,
realize the fact that I don't have much time left to save myself,
then finally scream in horror and start studying like never before.

Indeed, studying like never before seems to be the only way to improve my grades.
Don't remember trying really really really hard for O levels too.
Just really really hard.
And I'll definitely need to put in much more efforts than that to excel.

I think I'm losing the ability to talk crap.
The amazing ability to talk amazing quality crap.
Of course I'm still able to talk crap.
But I don't amaze myself with my crap anymore.
Like I don't say something and feel, how genius I was to be able to think of something like that.
Something bad must had happened or is happening at the moment.
I don't want to just say crappy crap from now on. ):
Hope that from tomorrow onwards my amazing ability would return.

Byeall.

To the next stop.

2010-08-10T00:16:00.002+08:00

Haven't touch any school work since Friday.
Okay actually I did, just a little, which is almost the same as nothing.

Played ball on Saturday.
Pan needed to left early at 5,
then Kent came at around 6.
So in the end the rest left around 6.30pm.
Then I went to meet suting and the rest for dinner.
The rest meaning CJ and Kenny only.
This time the dinner kinda fail lol.
Kenny reached damn late somemore.

Basically did nothing from Saturday till today.
Nothing.
Just slack stone stare blankly into space etc.

National Day today.
Or rather yesterday, to be exact.
Just watched TV for almost the whole day and did nothing else too.

Wonder what I'll be doing tomorrow.
Hopefully some studying and revision.
If only I had used the past 3days for revision,
it would be extremely marvelous.
But that's just 'if only'.
The past cannot be changed but the future is still an unknown.
The only thing to do now is to write our future with our own hands.

Byeall.

Even if it's just for a moment, even if it's just a few words.

2010-08-07T00:24:00.002+08:00

National day celebrations in school today.
Okay let's rewind a few days back.

Monday was the usual slack but super sian day.
Think Tuesday was quite normal too,
went home just after Chem protected time.
First step towards limiting my basketball time.
Ohya but went up during assembly in the morning
to receive the Lucy Khoo Book Prize.
For my superb improvement in my GP from Promos to JCTs.
$50 Kinokuniya voucher.
Don't know what I should do with it though.
Only the top ten students with most improvement in GP got the prize.
And I'm the only guy.
Haha okay so proud of myself now.
Still remember my Good Progress Award during sec4 LOL.

Okay so on Wednesday I realized I didn't do 07 A lvls paper 2,
which I was requried to do for Chem remedial.
Asked Kenneo and ZhiYuan the day before,
both who replied that they didn't know/not sure.
And then when they went as the first group for the remedial,
they got chased out immediately for not bring the TYS haha.
So I went to order the TYS and bought a copy of the paper and started chionging.
Managed to finish it during Econ protected time
which was right before my remedial.
After that went to find kenneo to play ball again.
Somebody got owned real bad.
Streetball moves really give you a sense of accomplishment and shiokness when you succeed.
And crossovers are definitely my favourite moves.
So went home damn late.
Again.
And it seems like my basketball time was not limited enough zZZ.
Anyway we didn't have to worry about not having a ball to play already. HAHA.
Thanks to kenneo's 'brilliancy'.

Followed Friday's timetable on Thursday.
And so ending early,
everyone had nothing to do and we went to play ball again zzZ.
I really need some self-discipline on this man.
I wonder which is harder,
getting myself to study or getting myself to stop playing ball?
So I played for like four awesome hours.

And today's celebrations was kinda boring.
I believe the atmosphere was much better last year.
Anyway I finally went to study.
Intended to do that on Thursday after school
since I had tons of time and nothing else but time.
But still got tempted to play ball in the end.
But not today.
Ate with chankai then went to expo to study
for damn damn long.
Maybe around 6 or 7 hours.
I won't say it's productive enough though.
But the efficiency would only increases each time I study there.
Or anywhere else which is good for studying.
Complex tutorial 4 is somehow of a different level from the previous three.
Lucky got smart chankai to help.
And some other tjcians including Amanda and Yeeling went to mug too.
CK and me were the earliest and I thought that no one is going to study today haha.
Seems like I'm wrong but at least I studied too.
Cannot be lagging behind too far anymore.
It's always the part before the last set of sprint which is the most important.
A levels is not a marathon but rather many many many sets of sprints.
However it's only the last one which is the most important
and even if you got last for all the previous sprints,
winning this one would already be able to land you anywhere you wish to go.
My stamina always isn't great compared to people,
and I'm probably even slightly below average.
But when it comes to acceleration and sprinting.... that's another story.
Anyway me ck and amanda studied till around 7 I think.
Ate at East Point LJS for dinner before heading home.

Then it was just bath, TV, slacking etc.
Gotta give my brain a good break after studying for so long haha.
And also for studying for so long after not studying for so long for so long.
Maybe playing ball tomorrow again.
But I'll TRY to make sure from now on it's at most once per week.
Maybe twice.
I'll see how. ;)

But the number of times I study will still be more than the number of times I play ball anyway.
This is something which I will not only try,
but also must make sure that it happens.

The next 4days gonna be tough.
Depending on how well I discipline myself to study during these 4days,
it can potentially affect my Prelims results greatly.
Shall try to think of how to spend my time on these critical 4days.
For time is money, money is time,
it is everything we've got but also what we're losing constantly.

And today I woke up with a little shock.
I took my specs as usual,
the one which the right arm may break anytime.
That's why I never bent that spectacles since long time ago.
But as I took the specs, I realized the right arm is GONE.
So I had to use the other specs which I only wear
when on that day I would be playing ball since I have to keep my specs.
The thing is, until now I still couldn't find the missing right arm of the specs.
And this is getting creepy.
How can the arm of the specs break by itself and go missing?!
Whatever, now I can only wear this pair of specs and nothing better happen to it.

Okay remembered something else.
All I have to say is the parade in the morning is kinda cui
and the BB guy commanding is ...... he does footdrill like talking normally.
Lazy to continue blogging anymore.
Somehow things keep popping up in my brain just as I was about to end the post.
But I shall just end it now and save the rest for next time.

Byeall.

And then it's August.

2010-08-01T02:57:00.003+08:00

Went to the HQ this morning for BPC briefing.
Finally reached home at 4plus but did nothing much.

Next week gonna be a slack week.
Just 4days of lessons,
with Thursday taking Friday's timetable.
Meaning one less double GP!!
And it goes the same for other lessons on Thursday.
So we'll end 12.30pm on Thursday and possibly quite early on Friday too.
YES!!
Then it's time for a 4day holiday.
Hope I won't be tempted to play ball in school next week.
Or at the most, just one day.
I can also force myself to go home straight after school everyday.
But that doesn't mean I'll study more...
Maybe I'll start staying back in school to study again.
Alone.
Sounds like a good plan.
No distractions.
Except if I'm feeling extremely sleepy.

Guess we'll have no NDP parade this year too.
Only one guy signed up for the contingent the last time I saw the list.
And everytime I walked past I hope to see some more names,
then one day the list wasn't there anymore lol.
If there were much more people,
enough for a whole contingent then maybe I'll sign up.
But that's just how pathetic it is,
wonder where did all the uniformed group people went to.

Shall continue to study a little while more before I go off.

Suddenly miss some of the old advertisements and those catchy songs!

Byeall

The next second, you were gone.

2010-07-29T21:57:00.003+08:00

Finally found a time to blog.
Not that I've been really busy with studying,
but somehow I just didn't get to blog in the past few days.

Gotta finish this fast and start my work soon though.
Haven't been productive for these few days.
It's been 10days since I last posted.
So fast and we're entering the 8th month of the year already.

School's been average recently.
It's just the usualy revision lectures, tutorials etc.
We will be able to finally finish complex numbers next week
and I don't know what's gonna happen for Econs.
I'll need to do much much much much much more
than what I am currently doing for Chem.
And certainly even more for Physics.
Passing physic and failing chem doesn't mean my physics is any better,
it's just that this time there are quite few topics tested,
compared to crazy chem.

Hoping tomorrow to be the last day I'll be playing ball,
but that's fairly improbable.
I can certainly cut down my playing time though.
Playing twice or thrice or even more in a week
isn't going to help in my preparations for A levels.
But taking a break from studies and exercising a little
once in a while certainly keep my life balance.
Just not too much that it unbalances my life.

Slept from 6 to 8plus just now.
And haven't done anything.
Think I'll stay back and study tomorrow.
Better force myself to do some work and get the engine started,
it has been so rusty that I can't even be sure if I can get it going anymore.
Luckily the acceleration's usually quite fast anyway.
Okay time to study,
will try to blog again soon about my boring life of school and slacking.

Byeall.

It's not the plan that is important, it's the planning.

2010-07-20T00:00:00.003+08:00

And so fast it's 19th July already.
By the end of this week it would already be the last week of July.
That leaves us with a little more than a month to Prelims.
Somehow it just doesn't seem real.
Somehow the feeling we've got during sec4 isn't present now.
It's just different.
There's only so little time left actually but everything still seems so calm.
Maybe I'm just one of those who need to wait for everything to finish,
then I can settle down and slowly sort out stuff and study for A's.

So Math lecture and tutorials better finish fast.
Else I can't feel the drive to start revising.
And even though I'm 'revising' now,
things aren't really getting into my head, somehow.
Argh this is screwed up.
There are still so many things stuck in my head
when I should only be concentrating on A levels now.

Taking breaks from studying is fine.
But it feels like I'm taking a break all the time,
and only studying at selected time.
Maybe I really need to plan.

"Plans are nothing; planning is everything." Dwight D. Eisenhower

I don't need a plan.
I just need to plan.
What happens after that will be decided by the process of my planning.
At least I know that once I started to plan,
even if I don't follow my possibly-over-idealistic plan,
I would carry on and do something about it.
I would continue and just go on instead of sitting here and doing nothing.
Maybe I really need to plan.
Maybe, no, and I must do that soon.

Chem mock paper 2 tomorrow.
The whole paper 2. IIRC should be A levels 2009 paper.
Haven't really studied enough.
Since when did I studied enough for anything anyway?
And how can anyone be confident to claim that he had studied enough?
But even after reading and several attempts to memorize stuff,
somehow I just can't do it.
Bad memory.
All the space in my brain had somehow been filled up by tons of other things.
Maybe I should store them somewhere else for now.
If not I'll just have to expand the space.

Took a nap in the evening again.
I should really stop doing that.
Not only have I wasted the afternoon, I've wasted the evening until night time too.
And that means I'll only start work after 8 or 9pm everyday
and that is absolutely inefficient.
But sometimes I just suddenly got hit by this wave of sleepiness
and couldn't take it zzzZ.
And I just sat on the bed today thinking I won't fall asleep that way.
Now look at what happened.

Not doing anything productive now.
Shall just read a little more get packed for tomorrow and go to bed.
Days are just going to get more and more boring from now on.

Byeall.

=====Double Yellow Lines.===========

2010-07-14T23:57:00.005+08:00

Is there anyhow who I haven't talk to for quite a while already,
but still reads my blog frequently?

So many people had stopped blogging already.
All the classmates from the past,
some of those who I haven't talk to for quite long,
who I can only be able to be informed of what had they been up to by their blogs.
And this is not something that just happened recently.
The number of blogs had been declining for quite a while already.
Suddenly felt like I should just have a chat with
secondary or even primary school classmates and catch up on them.
We've been so busy with our jc/poly lives that it's hardly possible to do anything else besides studying,
or any other random school work.
I wonder how am I going to live my next possible 100years
if 18years of life is already enough to make me constantly think about the past.

School's been good lately.
Today sucks.
Results sucks.
Getting back GP and maybe Econs tomorrow.
Hope I'll be able to do fine for them.
A pass is fine for Econs
and I can't really gauge what is good for GP though.
Protected time gonna start next week.
More revision, more fun.

Two more days to weekend.
It's usually just enough to survive till Wednesday.
But having chem for four days in a row is quite a killer itself.
The next two days would certainly be more slack though.
Feels like I'm still just trying to get through each day by each day
and not doing anything about the big event which gonna happen in 4months' time.

Tomorrow PE.
Tomorrow's Thursday.
Play ball day.
But should be running Lucky Heights for PE.
Damn. It's been a while since I ran.
Gonna die tomorrow then.
Need to conserve energy to play ball after that also lol.
And then hopefully it's play ball day again on Friday.
Don't think we can play ball that much from next week onwards,
since there's protected time and timetable gonna have a new look.
A better look, hopefully.

You can either wake up everyday,
and think that you're on to another battlefield for another harsh fight.
Or you can wake up everyday,
and think to yourself that today's gonna be the best day of your life,
with all the fun and good things coming your way.
Either way, life goes on.
Your outlook on life could possible change your life and you in an unexpected and unpredictable way though.

Byeall.

The right moment.

2010-07-10T03:20:00.002+08:00

Haven't been using com much for the past few days.
To be exact, ever since school started after the weekend break which was after JCTs.
Only managed to blog again on Wednesday.

So for the past few days somehow I'm feeling I've been making myself damn busy,
or it actually is just that I'm making myself too tired.
Sleeping earlier on Tues and Wed then waking up midnight to watch World Cup,
after that waking up at 6plus again for school.
And basketball after school on Tuesday too.
Thursday Mass PE ran quite a bit too,
and stayed back to play ball again after school.
Played till 6plus.
Ate KFC and studied a bit before heading home.
Reached home at around 11 I think.

And finally today.
Didn't even manage to go home and prepare
'cause everyone decided to catch the earlier showtime in the end.
Watched Eclipse with class then ate Long John.
Finally got home later, get some stuff, change,
then out again for Venture meeting.
Stayed back to chat after meeting was over,
and somehow it just dragged on till 1plus.
Finally reached home at around 2am.

Shall be back soon, feeling really kinda tired right now.
Going to sleep soon.

Byeall.

SPAIN!

2010-07-08T04:59:00.003+08:00

Yes good Spain beat Germany 1-0 to go into the finals.
Finally.
And I was so scared they can't handle Germany enough
but it's over now and there's only one last and final match to look forward to.
And that match is on a freaking Monday morning
which means that we will need to stay up late and go to school in the morning zzz.

And yes I need to wake up 1 and a half hours later to go school.
So I better go and catch some sleep now zzZ.
Else I gonna be freaking tired tomorrow.
Especially during my double GP rahhhhhhh.
Confirm sleep in that super cold room during GP.

Okay anyway Spain is in the finals with Netherlands.
Both teams I like but Spain the one I support the most.
Let's hope they will not disappoint me next Monday. (:

Byeall.

Searching...

2010-07-07T20:50:00.002+08:00

Just realized that I haven't been blogging for like a week already.
And a week of July just passed like that.

School re-opens yesterday and JCTs are over last Friday.
Only got to play ball yesterday after school though,
after more than 3weeks without playing ball.
And it's also more than 3weeks without exercising at all I think.
My legs got so tired just after playing a bit yesterday zzZ.

And I stayed up to watch Netherlands' match last night too.
But the match later is gonna be another exciting match.
And apparently a lot of people would also be staying up to watch.
Haha maybe tomorrow there will be an increase in number of students late for school,
or even absentees.

Speaking about tomorrow,
there's almost nothing to look forward to.
The usual Thursdays are like that anyway.
Except for PE in the morning and the 50mins break right after it,
the other lessons are... simply, kinda, boring, ttm.
Well almost to the max actually.
GP is getting worse in my opinion.
And it's not only me.
People are falling asleep more and more easily thanks to the teacher.
Haiz. Don't know what to say also.
Just hope that my GP grade this time won't be too bad,
considering that I'm just doing just okay when he marks
our past assignments quite leniently.
And the teacher who marked our JCT papers for GP apparently didn't think we did too well.

Okay maybe I should just stop here for now.
Maybe blog again later depending on my mood haha.
Gotta chiong Chem tutorial also,
after getting this kind of extremely screwed up results for Chem,
I'm sure it's just going to get worse if I don't do anything about it.
Didn't expect to screw up so badly though.
Kinda pissed off with it anyway.
With all the careless mistakes and little mistakes everywhere,
marks are just flying away from me.
And also all the things which I didn't exactly put in effort to study... zzZZ.

Gotta go rest now.
Felt kinda tired today in school also.
Don't know whether is it from yesterday's late night or what.
Somehow our whole class was damn tired too.
And the whole row of my class fell asleep during contact time's talk about interviews.
That is just so cool 'cause I don't spot that happening anywhere else.
Gives me another reason to be proud of my class.

Byeall.

Crossbar.

2010-06-30T00:53:00.003+08:00

Math paper tomorrow.
Like 12 and a half hours later.
Hope that nothing weird comes out as a question.
Hope that I can score fairly well
because seeing the situation I don't really intend to score well for Chem or Physics,
not like I'm going to get good results for GP and Econs anyway.

Econs is kinda screwed.
First question seemed okay but second question totally stunned me.
Sorta managed to crap my way out anyway, as usual.
So it seems like I'm gonna get a lousy grade for it, as usual.

Tomorrow must make myself chiong Chem.
And Thursday must chiong Physics.
'Cause really completely not started at all.

Japan match just ended after the penalty shooout.
Japen lost 5-3.
They held on to a score of 0-0 even after extra time
and lost it during penalty. Haiz so sad.
Now the last Asian team is finally out too.
I didn't watch the match but only started watching at 11x minutes,
and was waiting for the penalty shootout.
Too bad in the end Japan lost it.
Can't watch the Spain match later though.
Probably going to be a great match haiz.
But it's too damn late and there's Math paper tomorrow zzzZ.
Spain is still going to win it I believe.
Hope that Fabregas will play as much as possible.
Probably leading to an assist and scoring a goal in the process too.
Haha if all these come true later it will be creepy.
Spain to win 3-1 would be my prediction.
And whatever the score may turn out to be,
as long as Spain beat Portugal it's fine with me I guess.

Now I'll just have to try and sleep and rest as much as possible,
so that I'll have enough brainpower to spam for tomorrow's Math paper.

Never aim too high a goal to reach, or else you might just get unfortunate, hitting the crossbar and getting much further from your goal.

It's dangerous.

Byeall.

Yes really.

2010-06-24T03:59:00.002+08:00

"Need to stop sleeping at 3 and stop doing unproductive things other than studying. Sfqkahwuefbfwoquedydxbx!@#%$^*"

Quote from Zhihui's FB status.
Except that I sleep at 4.
And that's worse zzZ.

Exam's getting closer but I'm again losing the motivation to study.
All because of Chemistry zzZ.
Felt so enthusiastic about studying when I was still doing Math.
Chem totally screwed it up.
I wonder what would it be like if I forced myself to start with Phy or Econs.
I bet I would've completed almost nothing until now hahah.

So finally it's down to one day left to Chem MCQ.
I think I gonna screw it up big time,
considering how I had been studying and stuff.
Not like I gonna do well for any of the papers anyway.
If there's one paper which I gonna do much better than the other papers,
it would be Mathematics I suppose.
It's on Wednesday.
So I've got just a few days to finished the leftover topics after Chem MCQ.
And Chem's on Thurs and Phy's on Fri.
GP on next Mon and Econs is on Tues.
I don't how to allocate my time to studying for everything now.
Econs and Physics gonna get especially screwed this time.

Getting hungry again ahhhh.
I think I should eat more and train more.
My physique is poor according to NS checkup zzz.
Maybe it's just because I'm too short but I have no control over that rahhh.
In the end it's still a PES A anyway.

I hope I can wake up super early tomorrow.
As in, today, like a few hours later.
Then by night time I would be tired and would go to sleep earlier.
Like say 11plus or 12plus.
Then Friday I can screw up my MCQ less haha.
Not like it's gonna make a big difference but
at least I would be able to think with a clearer mind lol.

And I don't know why so many people support England.
But anw Capello finally did the right thing by putting Defoe first,
'cause another thing I don't understand is why he favours Heskey so much.
Don't think they will survive against Germany anyway.
Seems like most European managers
got influenced by Raymond Domenech,
but if del Bosque don't make stupid decisions again
Spain still got one of the greatest chance to win it.

Okay gotta go now.

Byeall.

There and there. And there.

2010-06-22T19:19:00.002+08:00

Back from June Camp yesterday.

Actually intended to go home on Sunday afternoon.
Which I did, but there was a slight change in plans.
Chandan called me after ASPIRE ended when we were still in camp.
So in the end Jeremy Sir sent the Ventures home, including me.
Then I had lunch and re-packed my bag for the next day,
and went to meet Chandan before both of us went back to Sarimbun.

And so I stayed for one more day.
Reached back at Sarimbun around 4 or 5plus I think.
And they haven't started challenge valley.
So the whole programme was delayed again.
Campfire started pretty late too.
Blah blah blah......
So Monday morning I woke up at 6plus.
Washed up and Jeremy Sir fetched me to Buona Vista MRT.
Then from there took 4stations to Tiong Bahru
to meet Kenneo and Freddy.
Had breakfast at Toast Box.
Haha sorta missed that place, Tiong Bahru plaza
really full with all kinds of food.

Then after that we bus to CMPB for the NS checkup.
Renwei went there earlier so he was already inside.
So went through all the checkup and stuff.
And finally reached the crazy brainpower-consuming computer test part.
Wasted like 6hours in CMPB just for this checkup zzZ.
Somemore we need to wait for Freddy after we did the test
'cause he went back to take the X-ray for his dislocated left hip bone.
Came out at 3plus finally and ate at KFC at Tiong Bahru Plaza.
Studied a little after that and finally got home at 7pm.

And now I'm left with less than 3 days to prepare for Chem MCQ.
Really got to do something about it now.
So I shall end this post here and blog the next time then.

Byeall.

Wingless.

2010-06-18T00:27:00.000+08:00

Finals Game 7 tomorrow!

And now I need to decide whether to stay up late or not.
Can't fall asleep at this time anyway haha.
'Cause June Camp gonna start tomorrow too.

Packed my bag just now already.
Hopefully I didn't forget anything.
Anyway the main purpose of going there this time
is just to teach and conduct orienteering lesson
and to study Chem as much as possible.
So I'll be back by Sunday.
Would like to stay back till campfire is over but
if there's no chance of coming back after that then probably I'll be back by evening.

Yesterday was a really bad day.
Haiz.
Celtics got owned by Lakers in the morning.
So after that went out to meet Chandan they all.
Then came home and did nothing.
At night went Su Ting house watch Spain vs Switzerland.
And Spain got owned too 1-0 zzzzZ.
Unbelievable and unexpected ):

But it was over.
And for the Celtics it's now or never.
Less than 9hours to the game.

And Chandan went for ASPIRE already this morning.
Wonder how had he been doing so far...
Hope he's doing well and would pass this one.
'Cause for him it's now or never too.

Okay shall be off now,
one more week to Chem MCQ.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH................

Byeall.

Non-stop spinning compass needle.

2010-06-16T03:01:00.003+08:00

Had been wanting to blog about stuff the past few days,
but forgetting to blog.
And therefore forgetting what I wanted to blog about too.

Sorta started on Chem.
I hope I still got enough time left.
Chem MCQ's next Friday.
And I won't be studying much from Fri to Mon 'cause I'll be away on camp.
Then I'll still have Physics to chiong for.

So other than this Fri to next Mon,
I'll most probably lock myself at home to prepare for mid-years ):
Don't think I'll get many chances to get out anyway.
Unless I'm going out just to study.

Going to sleep soon.
Then tomorrow hopefully I'll be able to wake up in time
to catch the potentially last match of NBA finals.
And see Celtics get their 18th championship.
Still need to go NAS and lend Chandan stuff too.
And hopefully I'll be able to spend the rest of the day studying efficiently.

Time's passing by so fast now.
And everyone acknowledge the lack of time to study already.
But it's just gonna get faster, when school re-opens.
If we're still walking through a maze now trying to find the right way,
then from then on it'll just be a straight tunnel.
We're heading nowhere but towards the end,
at a speed unimaginable by ourselves.
And the best thing we can do is to fully prepare ourselves,
and make sure we're ready when we reached the end of the tunnel,
so what we will see is light at the end of the tunnel and
not darkness surrounding us, devouring our souls.

If you don't know what to do, where to go now,
soon you will.
Because it's just gonna be a straightforward and direct path on ahead,
and you've got no other choice but to go on all the way.

Byeall.

Recognition.

2010-06-12T03:47:00.002+08:00

Some retard just shouted outside.
Whatever.

Oh and I forgotten to blog about something.
I went to school on Tuesday for Math lessons,
was going to be late as I stood at the cross junction
looking at my bus going to the bus-stop.
Since there was no way I could've ran and caught it,
I just walked normally towards the bus-stop.
Halfway through I realized that the bus is still there
and there is still someone running towards it.
Then I started running.
And thanks, to the guy who was at the bus-stop
and saw me running and stopped the driver from driving off.
I thanked the driver but didn't manage to thank that guy.
Thanks whoever you are for doing that. (:

Gonna play ball today.
Most likely around 12hours later.

Have been stoning quite a lot after midnight.
Was supposed to do my Math.
And slowed down tremendously somehow.
This is bad.

And I have no intention of continuing it now anyway.
Just got no mood at all.

Byeall.

But why?

2010-06-11T02:40:00.002+08:00

Been blogging less compared to the start of the year.
Maybe it's because I've gotten more busy,
or maybe it's because there're just less things to blog due to less happenings.

Seems like I finally sort of started studying for JCT today.
Somehow I always start studying with Math.
It just seems like the easiest subject to get you started with studying.
I think I've got no time left.
There's just two weeks left to Chem MCQ.
It means that I should finish studying everything by that time.
Possibly except Econs.
It's two CSQ for Econs this time.

And there's June Camp next Friday.
Thought that I'll have at least Renwei and Terry with me this time.
Apparently I was wrong.
Very wrong.
And the only other Venture going as well is Benedict.
Nevermind, I'll still go.
At most I'll bring some study materials there.
I need a break from this place anyway.
Going to camps allow people to get away with their normal, routine life.
Need to come back on Sunday though,
since NS Med Checkup is on the following Monday.
Should've checked the dates for June Camp before I booked the checkup,
now it's going to be so troublesome.

14days.
Minus 3days off the camp, that's 11days.
Almost the whole of Chemistry, around 10topics for Physics,
and everything of Math excluding Calculus.
That's everything that's gonna be tested and everything I'm left with to study for.
And also Econs of course.
Now perhaps that will increase the pressure I feel from JCT
and therefore allow me to study more efficiently.
At least that's what I hope.

And I'm pissed off with insomnia.

But it's going to help me study when I officially get onto it.
Haiz.

Then this Saturday may be the last day I gonna play ball for this holiday.
At least with Pan and the others.
Can't see myself finding much time to play ball after that too
with everything left to study for JCT.

Okay so other than studying and June Camp Orienteering lesson thingy,
I shouldn't have other things to do.
Shouldn't be playing com.
Shouldn't be slacking.
Perhaps I'll need to go out and find somewhere to study.
Everyday go different place and spend one whole day,
alone with my notes and stuff.

Ohh damn 4pm.
Even forgot to post this first zzZ.
Shall go to bed now.
Getting hungry rahhhhh.

Byeall.

Crazy.

2010-06-05T03:02:00.003+08:00

Oh damn.
Starting to get a little hungry.
Seems like I should end this post fast and go to bed soon.
Been sleeping at 2plus also, since Tues I believe.
And woke up 6plus on Wed, 9plus on Fri.

Okay lah somehow don't get the 'damn tired I need sleep' feeling.
Hmm... okay I just realized only during school days I get that feeling,
even if I sleep earlier everyday compared to now.
Hahahah. Seems like it's also because I've not been doing anything since hols started.
And so my 1st week is gone just like that.
So it's 3weeks left till the first paper, Chem MCQ.
Should start planning on what and how to study soon.
So that I can start studying soon zzzZ.
Like, real soon.

Okay I can't remember what I did on Thursday.
Possibly it's because I didn't do anything.
Ohh wait I know what I did already,
I spent the whole day doing Binom, Poisson Distr, P&C and Prob.
Yea whole day.
With uncountable extended periods of breaks in between haha.
Only managed to finished the Distr and Prob in the end.
Left 2qns of Prob and only did 2qns of P&C zzZ.
Maybe I'll try P&C again soon,
must get the Math feel and mood first.
And I should do the same thing for Chem and Phy too.
I had never gotten the Econs mood so....
I should start learning how to do it -.-

Then today, Friday, went back to school for Math.
Our class only 6 came zzZ.
Guys only me and ZhiYuan.
Then still got 2 other classes.
So basically sorta wasted my time there. Haiz.
2hours plus.
So went home, cook noodles for lunch, then slackeddd alllll the wayyyy.
Okay I just felt like doing thatttt, for some reasonnn.

Yea so at around 3plus 4plus it was damn cloudy.
Looked like it was going to rain.
But it was also the perfect weather to play ball.
Asked renwei and we waited to see if it will rain or what.
Then #$%FW%#FD okay fast forward finally 5plus we went to play ball.
So just played till around 7 before I came home again.

As usual I had not been doing anything since then.
Okay tomorrow, TOMORROW,
I will do something, Math or Chem.
I shall.... just do something, something related to Math or Chem or whatever.

Okay in the end I'm still here at 3.35am.
Okay oh damn 3.35am -.-
Thanks SuTing I think you really too stress already.
But now I shall end the post first,
before going off soon.

Lucky I didn't go to poly.
It's like almost alternate semester will be hiong, for 3yrs.
And it's like 5mths left for me. (:

Byeall.

Just feel like stabbing myself, at the heart.

2010-06-03T00:37:00.003+08:00

Ohh I just missed the 1234. It's 1237 now.

Went to school early morning for Econs lect today.
Was raining cats and dogs in the morning.
Woke up, washed up, and felt like I was living next to a waterfall.
Reached school an hour early 'cause dad brought me there
and the rain also stopped just as I reached school.
So stoned quite a bit before stoning more during lecture.

After lecture went to eat with Freddy Kenneth ZhengWei.
At Pizza Hut.
Then went to take 28 home.
Slept a little.
Woke up at 4.05pm and went to prepare to go out for JTS.

Reached Paya Lebar MRT Station just nice at 5pm.
But apparently I was one of the earliest.
Everyone else was like late.
In the end we finally went to Chongqing Steamboat Buffet at Beach Road, 101.
The building which the stall was located in is called '101'.
Ate until 8plus I think.
Was quite full.
But feels like I might get hungry again soon.
So we went to Suntec after eating.
Went to Häagen-Dazs for some ice-cream.
But I didn't eat.
Okay somehow I don't eat ice-cream at night.

Then went to take MRT back.
Reached back Tampines, then took 28 home.
Yea so here I am now.

I think that's all for now.
Quite a long day summarized in a not that long post.

Byeall.

Final Mayday.

2010-05-31T21:43:00.002+08:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mayday_(distress_signal)

Chem today was uhm, a little screwed.
Got only a pathetic 9/20 for the mcq test,
due to some imba careless mistakes.
Okay bet that I can only get around 13 though even if I did those questions correctly.
Then those without the Chem remedial w/s would have to leave the class.
So, we just walked out.
Yea, just like that.
Went to canteen and bought the w/s from the Zap shop, which opened at 9am zzZ.
To think I went there at 7.30am hoping that it's going to open before 8.30am.....

Then it was math lecture in the afternoon.
Nothing much happened except that it was freakin' noisy.
Then two J1s came in and realized they went wrong place.
And soon after a J1 girl did that too.
And she sat down and all that and finally realized she's at the wrong place.
But the worst thing is how she got mocked at when she left the LT.
I'm sure no one in the LT wanted to feel how that girl felt at that time.
That was plain retardedness.

So I ended the day in school and reached home around 3pm.
And as usual, haven't been doing anything since then.

Tomorrow's June.
Shall find an auspicious date in June to start studying for JCT.

Byeall.

You're the artist of your life.

2010-05-30T23:49:00.003+08:00

Okay time to blog properly 'cause it's not in the middle of the night
and I am still in a clear state of mind currently.

But there's nothing much to blog anyway.
Just wanted to blog 'cause the last day of May is coming soon.

And to rant about June hols.

Chem makeup tomorrow morning 8am.
Or izzit 8.30am I'm not too sure either.
Anyway I'll need to reach early and buy the remedial worksheet.
Okay I think I mentioned that already.
Then Math lecture in the afternoon.
Think I'll just slack and rot between Chem and lecture zzZ.
Then after that go home slack somemore and do nothing.

Tues will be Physics lecture.
Nuclear physics.
Already missed one lecture last week
'cause I was so hungry I went to eat breakfast in the canteen.
Anyway last day of school skip lecture should be nvrmind.
Don't know why I went to Econs lecture though since I slept through almost the whole lecture...

Wednesday will be H1 ECONS LECTURE.
And it's going to last 2 or 3hours I think.
That's a lot worse than normal lectures zzzZ.

Then Wed afternoon will be JTS.
Supposed to be tomorrow but someone somehow can't make it and it got shifted to Wed.

Thurs will be a completely slacking day.
And Fri Math tutorial in school.
Don't think the time and venue was mentioned though.

Think I shall sleep soon.
Although tomorrow come back home can sleep somemore anyway hahahaha.
But I think soon I'll need to find time to find ALL my notes and organize time,
and find more time to study for JCT.
And find some time to sketch more.
Okay and maybe some time to exercise and play ball.
I think all these plus other random stuff add together enough to keep me busy throughout the whole June hols already.
Ohh and still got Venture Step-Down Camp somewhere during the hols,
and June Camp(!!), which I can only go for the first three days.
Gotta get back on the third day 'cause medical checkup's on the fourth.
Didn't check properly before booking the date zzZ.

Maybe I should start really studying soon.
After I find out what's gonna be tested for each subjects.

Byeall.

Continuity.

2010-05-30T02:38:00.002+08:00

30th May 2010 Sunday.
And the next day it's back to school again.
At least it's not normal school day or what,
just a makeup chem tutorial and Math lecture.
Okay that reminds me,
have to study a little for ElectroChem and Ionic Eqm.
And gotta buy the rememdial w/s on that day and do it.
Yea, do it before the lesson starts.
I'm not even sure if the shop opens before 8.30pm
so that I can buy the w/s before the lesson starts.
Heck care.

Mardi Gras on Thurs was okay.
At least I went, watched the performances,
and stayed throughout the whole thing.
Not going Mardi Gras when you're studying in Tj is really quite a waste.
Especially when they already made you pay for it hahah.
Still....

Haven't been doing anything since then.
Friday and Saturday were used to slack and stone and rot.
Went back NAS on Sat morning.
Didn't do anything much.
Just take a look at the scouts and their meeting.
Talked a bit, went for lunch at KFC.
Then wasted the rest of the Saturday.

Going to sleep soon.
Should have went to sleep earlier actually.
Always wanting to sleep early but never really did it.
Haiz.
And now the holidays are here the chances of sleeping early
are getting even lesser.

It's always easier to start drawing on a new piece of paper than to erase and correct your mistakes - just like how it's easier to start afresh in life than to face up and admit to your errors. Because what's done cannot be undone and no matter how you try to erase these mistakes, traces will still be left behind. But ...it's how you still move on despite all these 'cause there's no second chances in life.

Somehow this just came into my mind.
Then again, it's not just about that.
It often takes a lot of courage to erase your drawing in hope of making it better,
without even knowing whether you can actually make it better or not.
It's just like how a huge amount of courage is needed to admit to your mistakes.
Life itself is a huge piece of art.
Whether it can become your best masterpiece
or it will still be a blank piece of paper in the end,
it's all up to you to decide for you are the artist of your life.

For now I shall go to bed.
Need to sleeeeeeeeeep.

Byeall.

Backspace.

2010-05-26T23:45:00.002+08:00

Last day of school ):

I need a break during the hols.
I need to study for JCT.
I need to do so many other things.
I need to organize all my stuff.
I need to rest sufficiently.
I need to get myself into the studying mood.
I need to make sure I can study whenever I want to.
And I really need to study starting from June hols onwards.

And I know I always say these.

I felt like I'm rotting away ever since I woke up just now.
Took a nap in the evening both yesterday and today.
And had to rush for GP presentation and other work last night.
And goddamnit we need to redo it in the end.
Like who the freakin hell knows what to present for Business Development regarding Sci&Tech,
or maybe the other way round but I don't really care.
Damn it.
This is so effing pissing.
No freakin any other people in the class knows what to do with it
and that's why us, the ones who didn't have a choice to choose from the list,
needed to do this.
And worse still we are suppose to be the second group to present,
and he expected us to do it yesterday somemore.
Business Development.
Crap.
Now there's one more 'effed-up-thing-I-need-to-complete-during-June-hols'.
Or rather, 'effed-up-thing-which-wastes-my-time'.
If he just wanted some information-overload powerpoint presentation,
it's as easy as ABC I can just dump in all the info.
Searching on any search engines, briefly reading through and
putting slightly more important points into the powerpoint.
And how the heck am I suppose to know what exactly he expect?
Like I understand what the other group presented yesterday like that....
Maybe I wasn't really paying attention,
or maybe it just sucked anyway.
If what he wants is quantity there's nothing easier than that.
As long as each of us know what we're supposed to talk about,
spamming related-info from everywhere isn't exactly that hard.
Ahhh freak man.
How the hell do I know Business Development consist of what Sci&Tech stuff anyway.
Damn it.

Last day of school tomorrow.
Nothing bad better happen throughout the day.
I'm going to enjoy my last day of school and come home and celebrate.
Okay cancel the celebration part I guess.
But I think I need to sketch tomorrow.

I need something to vent my frustrations,
wherever my frustrations are coming from.
But it just seems that I kept getting upset for no apparent reason.

I need some peace.

Or maybe I just need to blast some music out loud and scream like no one cares.

But as of now, I'm not getting anywhere.
This is not the time to remain stagnant and not move forward.
There won't be any time for us to do that anyway since it had never ever stopped before, not even once, not that I know of anyway.

Tomorrow will be a good day, and for now, goodnight.

Byeall.

What would have happened if I had asked like I wanted to?

2010-05-23T23:53:00.004+08:00

Had been wanting to blog recently but always didn't manage to.
Either I just forgotten about it while using com or I was busy with other stuff.

And then the weekend's over again.

NAPFA test yesterday.
Emo.
SBJ get B.
249cm only.
And it's like just 3cm more to A,
and I jumped 255cm last year.
Did okay for all other categories though.
11pull-ups, just enough for A,
9.3s for shuttle run, should be satisfied, just 0.1s slower than my fastest timing in sec4.
But Freddy got the same timing as me again.
I got a feeling he always affect me when we run together -.-
And I was clearly the one faster but the timing recorded is the same. @#$!@#$%
48 sit-ups, a little more than required.
Should have just did 2 more to 50 anyway.
42cm, just enough for a C for sit n reach I think.
And I certainly hope so.
2.4km timing should be just nice for a C too.
All these would get me a Gold.
But I still want me jump to get A. T-T

So didn't do any work yesterday even after reaching home.
In fact I didn't feel like doing anything, anything, at all.
And so I basically did nothing throughout the whole day and night and whatever.
That's why I had to force myself to do some work today.
Did a little electrochem, then tried to do some GP at night.
Need to prepare for the Sci&Tech presentation which is kinda crap.
We didn't have a choice and kena Business Development,
and was still appointed to be the second to present.
Seems like we can only dump everything into the ppt tomorrow
and hopes everything goes well when we are suppose to present.

And so fast it's a already the last week of term2.
Crap.
2 more terms left.
Damn it.

4 more days.
I feel like I am just going to go school and survive 4days,
as usual, had been doing so for the past few weeks.
Really gotta do something during the holidays.

Sometimes I wonder, why is it that people in my class are so close to their CCA people,
and people in my CCA close to their class.
And that leaves me myself and I alone 'cause there are just people whom they are closer to even though we're friends too.

And then, would it have made a difference if we give it a try instead of giving it up?
If everytime we make a decision we regret about it in the future, why don't we just not do anything?
But does that help in anyway?
Won't you regret doing anything, having not achieve anything, just living your life without any significant happenings fifty years later?
In the end we all want to live our life to the fullest,
but we all have this fear.
This fear that forms the invisible wall stopping us from doing many things.
Far too many things that is enough to prevent us from living to the fullest.
Far too many things that could just make us scared of doing anything in the future.
Far too many things, so many that it doesn't even allow us to make a simple decision.

All we need is just some courage.

Please give me some courage, 'cause I really need it right now.

Byeall.

Like a storm in my heart.

2010-05-16T23:12:00.003+08:00

Yay tomorrow's school again.

Okay somehow that sounds sadistic.
Just for some reason, it really does.

The past week was, not really good, in terms of school work.
Wasn't able to study on any day at all.
Barely managed to do enough work to survive the lessons each day.
And can't bring myself to do more work after that.

And despite me convincing myself it's not wise to play basketball for the fourth day in a row,
I still stayed back after remedial on Friday to play ball.
Until 6plus somemore.
And I didn't have lunch 'cause I went to the basketball court straight after remedial,
thinking that I would only stay a while before heading home for lunch.
Apparently I was quite wrong.
So at 7plus I took 12 home.
And just before the stop I'm supposed to alight at,
I just blacked-out zzzZ.
The next moment I opened my eyes I saw 'Pasir Ris...' and I knew I was screwed.
Lucky it was only two stops after the TPJC one,
so it's inside Pasir Ris yet.
I would be so stunned if I found myself in Pasir Ris when I woke up -.-
So I just alighted immediately and walked back.
Don't know why am I making myself so tired for zzZ.

Didn't do much work either for yesterday and today.
I think I should try to stay back to study again tomorrow, in the library.
It was always successful on Mondays until last week.
And tomorrow's the start of the second last week omfg.
It's so damn fast.
When June arrives I think everyone would feel the pressure rising already.
9 more days of school.
Then some extra lectures/tutorials.
Studying time for JCT.

Ohh and the camp next weekend had been postponed for some reason.
Kinda glad because it would free up my last weekend of the school term.
Would be having my NAPFA test on this Saturday anyway.
I just need my 2.4km to get at least a C.
Shouldn't be that hard if I really try hard enough right?
And considering all the exercises from basketball it should be okay haha.

I don't know why but I'm kinda already looking forward to the end of school tomorrow
and it there's anyone who's going to play ball after school -.-
I think I have to stop this kind of feeling soon if not I won't be able to focus at all in school zzzZ.
Anyway I will still try to do my work tomorrow after school.

At least, a little bit.

And I went back to the range for a while last Friday.
Wanted to shoot a little and Ms Liew allowed me to do so since the J1s haven't come yet.
So after she open the armoury I went to take out my gun,
and the grip was gone T-T
So I just had to make do with a random pistol.
And I was very unused to its sights.
The grip was too big also.
And I think I too long never use cocking gun, been using compressed air for the last few months.
But I still shot a ten for my first shot!
Yea the only ten, and went on to screw up the next four shots before giving up haha.
Stayed a little while more before going up to play ball again.
Omg I miss shooting, although it's just been a year since I started this sport.
Especially now when all my classmates' A div ended too,
and people are like just so emo.
That reminds me of nationals.
We're like the earliest to end our A div and it's just a one day event for us.
I think that's worse.
Go there one day, shoot, no win, come back. Nothing else.
Haiz. If only we trained hard enough.

But what's in the past is in the past.
I won't want to have this kind of feeling when A level comes.
None of us do.
So we should study harder.
And I think I've been sleeping too much during lectures,
especially Math and Chem lectures nowadays.
And stoning during Econs lecture.
Don't know what I was doing during Physics lecture.
Talking about physics, it's A lvl physics SPA tomorrow.
Didn't study, hope that it will be an easy one.
Good luck to all taking Phy SPA tomorrow too.

Byeall.

In(Tense).

2010-05-12T23:32:00.002+08:00

Played ball last Friday.
Played ball yesterday.
Played ball today.

Everyday I go school, especially lectures, I feel like just letting my eyelids drop down.
Everyday I reach home, I feel very tired and just want to lie on the bed.
So what's the thing I do most everyday in school and at home?
Basketball and sleeping. Computer and TV.

Kinda screwed man.
Going way off the correct direction I'm supposed to go towards.

And I'll just think, this may be the last two weeks I'll ever be able to play ball so freely in JC.
'Cause come June and JCT, everyone's gonna work so hard,
so hard that we will be left with no time for anything else.
And the following few months would be crazily filled with studying schedules and all that.

My ankle felt a bit weird since Monday,
and the feeling's still coming back at times.
And after two days of basketball my left calf feels slightly tensed.
I don't know but it just feels weird,
like constantly in 'warmed up' mode.
Ready to run and jump and fly off anywhere anytime.
I'm just scared that my legs may not be getting enough rest.
I'll always rest on weekends anyway,
so let's just hope they recover well.
Especially by next Saturday since I need them to
do shuttle run, SBJ and 2.4km.

PE tomorrow.
It better not rain in the morning.
I'm gonna enjoy another session of basketball.
With everyone already ended their season,
it's the best time before JCT to play ball and exercise.

And tomorrow's the freakin' boring day again.
Only chem and GP lessons.
Phy and Econs lectures.
Econs remedial.
End at 4.40pm.
That's kinda late, compared to other days.
But why couldn't I get focused and like econs more?
I just don't get it but I hope I'll somehow figure it out in time.

Haven't been doing work this week.
Even Mugging Monday's been screwed.
Time to get 'studying' into one of my hobbies.
Not like I have a lot of hobbies anyway.

Shall get going now.
I hope that in the near future I will start sleeping earlier on weekdays.
Let's say before 11 or at most 11plus.

Byeall.

活该

2010-05-09T02:59:00.002+08:00

Lazy to think of title, so just used the the name of the song I'm currently listening to, haha.

Didn't expect myself to stay till 3am again -.-
Already did that last night when I was sketching Allen Iverson.
Sometimes time really flies huh.
Sometimes when I stay up late time doesn't even past that fast,
but most of the times it's like now, in the blink of an eye it's 3am again.
Hello 3am, once again.

Anyway I'll be going to sleep soon.
Just blogging 'cause I felt like it.
Not a very productive day today, as usual.
Only did a few math questions.
Seems like I need to complete even more questions tomorrow,
as well as study for math test on Monday and attempt the Econs CSQ.
Looks like there's quite an amount of work to be done tomorrow.
And considering the fact that I'll be going out too tomorrow,
I think nothing much would be done anyway haha.
Then I'll be staying back on Monday again to chiong my work.
Ohh and I just remembered that I should do some more Physics questions.
And I didn't go Physics remedial last Fri.
When me and ZY got to the place outside Audi,
the teacher was nowhere to be found and after a brief search
we decided to just give up hahah.
But stayed back to play ball, till around 6 I think.
And then staying up till 3plus for two nights in a row again.
I should really get more sleep zzzZ.

Slept quite a lot on Thurs and Fri though I think.
Slept from 8pm to 11pm on Thursday,
woke up, ate a bit, watched TV, then went to bed again.
Slept all the way till Friday morning.
And here's the best part, slept 70% of the time during the double lectures that morning.
I didn't even know Math lecture started 'cause I slept all the way after Chem lecture ended.
Woke up not knowing what happened, took out notes,
read a little, and continued sleeping -.-
Nvrmind Chem and Math notes not bad read alr shld be able to understand lol.

Ahhh less than two months to JCT.
This is crazy man.
Felt like MCT was just a while back.
And I've only got less than two months to study for JCT,
and I have no clue as to when will I start studying anyway.

Shall get going already.
Don't know why I was feeling tired and sleepy since an hour plus ago,
but getting more and more energetic now -.-
Something must be really wrong with my body zzZ.

Byeall.

You gotta keep moving and there's no stopping.

2010-05-03T03:04:00.004+08:00

Haven't been blogging for a while, especially at this time already, IIRC.
Suddenly blogged less last month, especially the latter half of the month.
Probably because somehow I'm becoming tired more and more easily.
Somehow keep feeling tired and exhausted,
don't even know what did I do.
Also not like I study much more than before or what -.-

Should be asleep at this time normally,
but today's Labour Day holiday in-lieu.
And I thought that it was an extremely great news,
since I would have more time to rest or do my work.
But I've been sleeping late and not much work is done.
Maybe having school on Monday and holiday on another day would be better.
Because I've been only doing work on Monday anyway.

Well seems like I'll have to force myself to do work tomorrow,
if not I gonna get screwed when I return to school on Tuesday.
Having a better timetable, no PW, and no more trainings now,
somehow all the extra time that is supposed to be there
due to all those reasons had gone somewhere else.
Really makes me wonder how did I survive school, trainings and PW last year.
'Cause it's getting tough even without trainings and PW.
And it is just going to get tougher after JCT.

Okay it's really really really late right now.
Like most of the people out there are always asleep.
Shall go to bed too, have a good rest, and do some work tomorrow ):

On the bright side, it's only 4days left in the week!
Then again, I still hope I can survive that 4days, even though it's just 4days.

Byeall.

Weekend. And a longer one.

2010-04-29T23:26:00.002+08:00

Finally it's Friday again.
Like really, finally, like finally you know.

And that leaves us one more day to weekend,
one more day, to May.

May sounds really scary, 'cause it means we're approaching the middle of the year soon.
Real soon.

But this 3days weekend I'll properly rest myself enough,
or just enjoy myself, do whatever I want.
And come May I hope it's time to up the stage.
Currently it's like I'm only doing work on Monday -.-
Like trying to finish everything I can on Monday,
just so that I don't have to do anything for the rest of the week.
And even on weekends I usually don't do much work,
and on weekdays I only do them if it's absolutely necessary.

Somehow every week gives me the as-long-as-I-survive-till-Wednesday-it-will-be-okay feeling.
And maybe that's why I only do work on Monday.
But it isn't really the case now.
Went home at 5pm today due to Econs remedial.
Thursdays are going to end late from now on zzzZ.
And Physics rememdials on Fridays aren't any better I guess.
The topics will get harder, so I'll need to spend more time to do the worksheet,
and I'll just end up going home at 3 or worse still, 4 or 5.
Okay that sounds really scary, I think 3plus should be the worst, I hope.

Then again it's still Friday, got the screw-whatever-shit-just-get-everything-done-and-over-with mood.
It's not like that kind of mood only comes out on Friday though,
that's the bad thing =/
And it's the I-COMPLETELY-don't-feel-like-doing-anything mood again today.
And I really didn't do anything.
Awesome.

Feeling damn hungry now.
Shall go and fill my stomach then it's off to bed and after tomorrow it will all be good, I hope.
Megahouse function tomorrow night, not going.
Like people will ask if I going, then ask me to go, but everyone has people to go with,
and I think it's damn weird if I just go in alone even though I can find my friends
but they are still with other friends.
Okay I think that just makes me sound so friendless hahah whatever I need to eat now.
Empty stomach causes an empty brain,
can't process my thoughts properly when I'm hungry, especially when I'm this hungry.

Byeall.

All that there is left.

2010-04-23T00:00:00.002+08:00

Sick again.
Freak.

Totally kills my mood to do anything.
Not that I would be able to do much if I had the mood to anyway.
Really don't feel like going school but I don't think I should even miss one day of school.
Shall hope that I get well by tomorrow and I will fully make use of this weekend then.

Chem Kinetics and Eqm test tomorrow.
Only sort of studied finish kinetics and there's still a huge portion of eqm left to study.
Haven't done enough Ionic Eqm qns to cover for tomorrow's tutorial.
Lucky that tomorrow's econs will hopefully be a free period for me to complete my tutorial.

Well I just briefly read through eqm notes.
Should be okay I think...
At least a pass will be sufficient.
I won't want to get scolded or asked 'what happened?' again.
Although theorectically I can just say that I was sick and didn't manage to study.
Well and at other times it's because I'm lazy but I can't possibly just say that
or I will get killed even before A levels.

It's like freakin late now for someone who's sick and still using com.
Haven't been using com past 12 on schooldays for quite a while already.
But that doesn't mean I'm sleeping early everyday too.
I need enough sleep this weekend.
And that leaves me with less time to be awake.
Which means less time to do work.
This is assuming the time used to relax/play is a constant,
which it usually is or seldom ever decrease at all.
So using basic calculations it is normal for me to not do any work at all.
And that's always the case anyway.

Shall get to bed already.
Another day with just 5plus hours of sleep isn't really good for me.
But what to do?
Unless I don't use com and just study everyday after reaching home,
there's no way I'm going to sleep early every single day.

One last day to the end of the week.
IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY.

Byeall.

Never fail to try. If you do, just try again.

2010-04-17T02:22:00.003+08:00

PW results today.
TJ got around 80% A I think, yea, and I got a well-deserved A too.
Glad that all of us did, for all the hard work and crazy efforts we put in last year.
Now that everything is over and we got what we deserved,
I actually kinda miss it.

Haha well when is it not the case when these kinds of things happen.
Courses, camps, many other events.
It's always been like that.
After you've finally survived through everything and everything,
the sense of achievement is just so overwhelming and there's also that sign of relief.
But soon after you take a moment and think back,
you will realize how precious the memories and the experiences were.
Or maybe it's just me who always think too much about the past. Haha.

Went home to slack straight after school.
So weird to go home so damn early on Fridays.
It's been a week.
And it felt like it never really happened.
Because it's not really something major or very important anyway.
Life goes on.
Slept a little before going to play ball with Pan at 3plus.
Today was shiok.
Had dinner at mac after that and renwei came too.
Then we headed for venture meeting soon after.

Reached home at 11plus.
Bath, TV, computer.

Nothing much to do anyway.
Paintball session on Sunday,
which could potentially screw my whole Sunday afternoon.
Need to try and do more work tomorrow then.

The past week was.... rather normal.
Boring same old school life.
Am proud that I didn't sleep at all on Thurs
where there's Phy and Econs lectures though.
Somehow every week's just a little different though.
The only similar thing is everytime it reaches Wednesday,
I'll lose all drive to do anything because Thurs and Fri seems so slack,
and weekends seem so near zzZ.
And that means I'll only do most work on Mon and Tues.
Just two days.
That's rather.... little.
And I shouldn't slack so much on weekends anymore.
I don't if it's the slack feeling towards the end of the week or what,
but somehow I feel that every Friday I'll go school
with the intention to just get over with all the lessons and end school.
Okay I suddenly don't know what to type anymore.
Maybe I need some sleep.
Or I might need some food soon hahah.

Let's try and do as much work as possible.

But you know I always failed to do that.
Maybe what I need to do is just to make sure at least I tried.
At least I tried.

Trying will not give you any regrets,
or rather it reduces your regrets.
At least most of the times it do.

Byeall.

When all hope is lost in an instant.

2010-04-11T22:05:00.002+08:00

And then it is the presence of the possibility yet the absence of its occurence that causes the agony.

I think sometimes I really take too long to get over some things.
And I know there will always be some things that I will almost never get over with.
Still, after so long I believe everyone has learned something from life, and that is,
it goes on.
No matter what happens. Life goes on.
That's how screwed up it is.
Because we can't change the way it works.

Haven't been doing anything over the weekends.
Yea except for my favourite thing to do, slacking.
Played basketball yesterday.
Apparently it didn't help much.
Even basketball didn't help much.
And sleeping extremely late on the night before playing basketball didn't help either.
Sleeping late on the night after playing basketball doesn't help too.
Slacking for the whole day because I don't have the mood to do anything doesn't help.
Sometimes I wonder if even typing here helps.
Then again if it doesn't, I won't even be here.

Life goes on.
School goes on.
Tomorrow's Monday again.
The most terrifying and boring day of the week.
For some reasons we all take an extra effort to get through Monday.
But the hardest part is always the start.
It's the same with doing every other things, a good example would be studying.
Once you start, you almost cannnot be stop.
Yea but then again, the real problem is the start.

Okay feeling very hungry right now.
Very very hungry.
When I'm having an empty stomach I think my brain's almost empty too.
And there are really times when I just have an empty mind.
It just blank out for moments and I hate that.
People like to see things in control.
Either they take control of things or let others be in control.
Somehow it just give everyone a sense of security when things go according to plan.

Joker: [serious, smirks slowly] Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it! You know…I just do things. The mob has plans. The cops have plans. Gordon's got plans. You know…they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So when I say… [grabs Harvey's hand, Harvey struggles a little] ah, come here. When I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you'll know that I'm telling the truth. [starts unstrapping Harvey's wrists from one side] It's the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, and you had plans. And, uh... [starts unstrapping Harvey's other wrist] look where that got ya.
[Once Harvey's other wrist is free, he attempts to grab The Joker, the two struggle with each other until The Joker grabs a hold of Harvey's hands, moving them from side to side]

Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and [sing-song tone] I turned it on itself! [Harvey stops struggling, The Joker looking down at him] Look at what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hm? You know–you know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go "according to plan"… even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I told the press that, like, a gang-banger will get shot, or a truck load of soldiers will be blown up, nobody panics, because it's all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die… well, then everyone loses their minds! [lets go of Harvey's hands and pulls out a gun, the handle facing Harvey] Introduce a little anarchy. [puts the gun into Harvey's hand, cocking the gun] Upset the established order, then everything becomes…chaos. [guides the gun to his own forehead, smacking his lips] I'm an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It's fair.

And talking about that never fails to remind me of what Joker said in The Dark Knight.
Plans are not that important as long as you do what you need to do anyway.
There don't even exist such a thing as a foolproof plan.

Yea so haven't been doing anything until now too.
Paused in blogging for quite a while, but not doing anything constructive too.
Okay my dad's finally home.
Here comes my supper.
Feeling really damn hungry already haha.

Been listening to Bon Jovi's songs since evening.
It feels so good sometimes when you just put everything aside,
sit down and listen to songs and not do anything else.
But now that I'm damn hungry,
I shall be off to have my supper!!
Then prepare for school tomorrow. Haiz.
No mood go school rahhhhhhhhhh.

Byeall.

Because of that. What.

2010-04-10T01:56:00.002+08:00

Tonight is a sleepless night.
Not just any other sleepless nights.

Tonight is a sleepless night.
I don't even know if I feel tired at all.

When you are only little bit more to the end,
and you made a mistake so big that it instantly wipes away anything good previously,
I don't know what I should feel anymore.

I wasn't feeling very good since Wednesday and that strange feeling kept haunting me.
So much that I couldn't do any work or whatever things.
Little did I know that the feeling after would be so much worse than the one before.

When you think you are going to try your best,
but you didn't manage to, and it's only by such a small margin
and you don't even know what exactly went wrong in between,
it hurts so much.
Because it's the last time.

I don't know if I'm taking the results too seriously or what.
Even with 10points more, I would not be able to win anything still.
But it's not about winning anymore, it's about reaching to my potential as much as possible.
And not being able to do that is like losing.
And I hate to lose now.
I don't know if that's also why I screwed my last series.

But I can't do anything about it anymore.
And even if I know that, I can't stop thinking about it.

I don't know how long I need to get over it but this just sucks.
I don't even know why am I feeling this way, so disappointed and
have completely no mood to try and do anything else.
And as I think back I don't even know what was in my mind at that point of time.

Tonight is a sleepless night.
A night where slience is present like never before
because my mind is just as blank as a piece of paper.
But at different moments it just goes into a storm and everything's messed up,
flashes of lightnings just appear and gone in a second.

I need to wake up early later.
But tonight is a sleepless night,
and I don't give a damn to anything else anymore now.

Byeall.

But this is my final chance.

2010-04-08T22:00:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's Nationals.
The thing which had been stuck in my head practically all the time since yesterday after training ended.

And after that it's just no more.
No more trainings for us.
I keep thinking about tomorrow, but it's not just tomorrow, it's after tomorrow.
It would feel so different after tomorrow...

Shooting is so different from other sports.
Most of them have competition seasons, and many matches etc.
And then they get to semi-finals, finals, where they play to their bestest.
But shooting is different.
Tomorrow's the shoot.
We will just go down there, shoot, and then after that it's all over.
It's up to ourselves as to whether we will win anything.
And it's most probably we won't get to win anything but we will just try our best.
Yes, the most important thing to give it our best.
I don't want to be disappointed because I did not shoot my best.
That kind of feeling sucks.
It's not about winning or losing the competition anymore,
when you go to shoot knowing clearly that you don't stand any much chance of winning.
It's just about winning yourself, beating your own previous scores.

This is what makes shooting so different.
It's really damn fast.
Everything will be over in less than a few hours.

And so tomorrow I'll only attend two lectures,
which I would probably sleep for most of the time to conserve my energy,
and half of a GP lesson which doesn't really matter.
Then I'll be stoning until 3plus.
Lewis will be shooting first at 1plus, and I will shoot with XW at 3plus.
We will get back at 5plus.
Tomorrow is the day.
And after that it will be over.
Thinking about this makes this sad but I have no choice but to just give it all I've got.

Sometimes I wonder how did a person with lousy concentration like me get selected into this kind of sports which requires extreme concentration.
But maybe I am just supposed to train myself more into concentrating and focusing better.

And if there's any time I should be so damn freaking concentrated, it will be tomorrow.

I shall try and go to bed now.
I don't even know when's the last time I sleep so early.
But I know I will need sleep, for tomorrow.
Let's just do what I can, everything, for tomorrow.

Byeall.

You get a second chance, every second.

2010-04-06T23:50:00.003+08:00

Hello.

I stayed back in school to study alone for the first time HAHAHAHA!
I feel damn proud of myself now although I didn't accomplish much
except almost getting killed by electromagnetism and binomial.

And today's my birthday!
Just like any other year, it's like any other day. Hahah.
Pretty nothing much special happened.
But today's the start of Inter-School National Shooting Championship too.
Damn it will be my turn on Friday.
Last training tomorrow :O
So scary lah zzZ.

And I went to see the detail for tomorrow,
only 9 J2s.
Pistol girls shot today, one tomorrow, and rifle girls tomorrow.
That leaves us with Pistol boys on Friday and Rifle boys next week.
And by Friday the detail will only be left with Rifle guys.
Next week no more J2s already.
That's damn fast.
I think we're like the fastest CCA to step down lol.
The good thing, can study.
The bad thing, I think there's too much for me to list.
I'm gonna miss this sports although I'm not very good at it and
I've joined only for a year++ hahah.

Ohh and I wonder if green's in the trend now.
I know I'm in TJ but I received 3envelopes all in green.
That's like... so green, so TJ hahah.
And it's 12plus already I'm like officialy 18yrs old +.
Feels so weird.
Eighteen already.
Two more years of teenager life and the last one to be spent in army zzZ.
Then to the in between stage then adult life.
Lol screwed man.

Anyway was talking to someone.
And saw the word 'absurd'.
And it reminds me of Maths haha -.-
'Cause of the 'surd' LOL and 'ab' is like the 'absolute' function in calculators.
What a Mathematical word haha. 'ABSURD'.

Saw a picture from tumblr too.
And the quote is
"You decide every moment of everyday who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second."

It's like one second is called a 'second' because everytime it passes you just got a second chance to decide who you are and what you believe in.
In every moment of your life you are constantly being forced into making decisions.
And every passing second rewards you with a second chance in making decisions.
That is why every second is so precious and you should cherish each second of your life.
Because for every second which passes, it's a new chance for you to redefine your life.

And many many many seconds just passed while I'm blogging.
Should be sleeping soon.
Haven't done any work at home for two days already =(
Luckily I did some in school today.
I should commence my operations soon towards victory against A levels ;D

By the way someone told me about this thing call the land of Nod.
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/land_of_Nod
I think can try other online dictionary,
just now the definition showed to me was 'mythical land of sleep'
or something like that haha.
Sounds like somewhere I travel to everyday during lectures lol.

Goodnight all and thanks to everyone who send me their wishes on my birthday!
I still accept belated wishes! Haha (:

Byeall.

Eleckttro Megnertissvm. PhysicszcsxzzzZZ.

2010-04-04T03:15:00.004+08:00

Had wanted to blog last night.
But blogger had some error zzZ.

Went to play basketball on Friday.
Slacked all the way after I went home.

Saturday, did not do much too.
Watch TV, soccer, play a bit, did some random stuff,
almost everything else except for studying.
Or any other school-related stuff.

So here I am trying to do my Physics tutorial now.
Electromagnetism.
Sounds so damn cool.
Sounds like something I would be attracted to if I'm not studying Physics.
Sounds like something I should really master because it's part of what I need to study.

And I'm still wondering what makes Physics so hard for me.
It's been this way ever since sec4 and I still don't know what went wrong -.-
Whatever.
I'm going to make myself love Physics before I had no more time left.

Okay just blogging because I wanted to last night, but didn't manage to.
But since I'm feeling kinda tired I can't really think of much to blog.
I'm feeling damn bored too.
And boredom makes me feel tired.
Especially when I'm staring at Electromagnetism stuff which looks so darn foreign to me.
Guess I'll try again tomorrow haha, since I'll most probably be going off soon.
Will blog again some time soon.

Byeall.

Losing.

2010-03-31T23:19:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow's a brand new month.
And today's the last day of March 2010.

Now I'll have to go for both Physics and Chem remedial,
how cool is that.
I would say, goddamn cool.

JCT both get A already. LOL.

Today was like the third last training before Nationals.
Finally got back closer to normal.
I think I just need to shoot like how I shot using the old gun and it'll be okay already.
Concentrating for the whole 60shots is a tough thing though.
I feel that I'm so weak mentally, physically too but enough for shooting.
And it's so hard to train your mind when your mind is lazy.

Half-day tomorrow 'cause there's Sports Day after school.
Only the double GP got cut but that's enough already.
That leaves us with only Chem tutorial,
'cause the rest are PE, Physics lecture and Econs lecture.
Tomorrow shall be a good day.
Let's all hope so.

And I don't know how Sports Day can last so long until 6pm.
Anyway have to head to NAS for Venture meeting after that at 8pm.
Will need to dine out then.
Most probably will reach home quite late tomorrow.....
And Friday's Good Friday so there's no school!!
What a good Friday Good Friday is.
The bad thing is it took away another training rahhhhhhh.

Shall be off for now.
Tomorrow will be a long day but let's hope that it's a good day.
And may April be a better month.

Byeall.

FLASHforward.

2010-03-29T22:31:00.007+08:00

Ohh I forgot to mention something last night.
FLASHFORWARD is finally back to airing after stopping since December.
I'll definitely make sure I catch all 12 episodes after missing quite a few the last time =/
Watched the recap episode last night while eating supper.

Okay I'm blogging just because I want to talk about this hahah,
and also taking a break from studying which I haven't started at all zzZ.
It's like a pre-break.
To take a break even before studying haha.
Don't even feel like doing any work.
Okay lah not really studying just doing my homework.
I'll just group everything related to school under 'studying' though,
that's how broad my definition of 'studying' is .

Wondering if I should stay back and play ball tomorrow.
Like not many people would be there anyway I think.
And going back home early is a previllege for us too haha.
So maybe I should use the time to.... sleep? Slack? Watch TV?
Can't think of anything constructive to do anyway hahaha.
Don't even have the mood to do any work.
Felt like we are coming back from holidays...
Okay actually we are it's just that there's MCTs right after holidays and before today.
Rahhhhhh so stupid shall try to at least do some shit so I can show the teachers I tried.

Byeall.

Luck. And more luck.

2010-03-28T23:34:00.003+08:00

Already felt like blogging last night, but in the end didn't.
Felt like blogging 2hours ago, but in the end didn't.
And so I can only blog a little before going to bed.

It's back to school tomorrow for everyone,
and we will be getting back our results too.
Haiz shouldn't expect too much, nothing much to expect anyway haha.
The best thing I can hope for is only to not fail any subjects.
Still, I must leave it up to luck to decide for that.

Training again tomorrow after school.
Two more left before Nationals next week.
I think shooting is really 90% mental, 5% physical and 5% luck.
Or luck can even play a much bigger part.
Still we train as hard as we can to improve and be more consistent,
not relying on luck so much.
But luck can really decide one's fate and path, it is just so unpredictable.
I can shoot an extremely good score of 540 averaging 9points,
or I may just shoot 480. (Okay actually it's not very possible for me to shoot as high as 540 but anw)
Still, I must leave it up to luck to decide for that.

Everything in life, depends on luck.
Even if you don't believe in luck, you can't deny it
as there bound to be a time when you will thank your luck
or maybe blame it for things happening.
It may not be the main cause everytime something happens,
but it is definitely part of the contributing factors,
one that nobody has any control on at all.
You have choices, you control your own action, you have your own will.
But things doesn't always go your way or happen just because you want them to,
or not happen just because you don't want them to.
Because ultimately, luck will decide for you.
No matter how hard you try, luck decides the outcome.

"Whether you win a game or lose, it doesn't matter. What really counts is whether or not you played good moves."

Rather, I would say it doesn't matter what moves you played, as long as you win a game.
What if it's a game concerning life and death?
The outcome definitely matters.
I don't know the good in the quote means a move that helps you to win,
or one that is morally correct.
Bad moves as in the case of a lousy one definitely lead you away from a win,
but a bad move in the case of one that is morally incorrect might help.
But is it fair to do so?
Fairness is not up to any of us to decide though,
there are so many varying perspectives in the world towards fairness.

''We all journey towards the end; but in the end it is the journey that matters"

While that is correct too, it is different for a game.
Especially one which results may affect you greatly.
So are we suppose to do whatever we can just to win it?
No, not all the time.
Anyway, winning or not, it does not just depend on you.
Ultimately, luck still plays a part, it can be a big or a small one,
but don't forget, luck plays a part.
What we can only do is to reduce the risks that luck may bring us,
but never truly eliminate it.

And somehow I just kept on blogging.
Sometimes when I read my older posts I don't even get what I'm trying to say,
or why am I typing it.
Guess each post just reflects my thoughts when I'm typing.

Sometimes my thoughts can really go everywhere and anywhere though.

Byeall.