Because of that. What.

Tonight is a sleepless night.
Not just any other sleepless nights.

Tonight is a sleepless night.
I don't even know if I feel tired at all.

When you are only little bit more to the end,
and you made a mistake so big that it instantly wipes away anything good previously,
I don't know what I should feel anymore.

I wasn't feeling very good since Wednesday and that strange feeling kept haunting me.
So much that I couldn't do any work or whatever things.
Little did I know that the feeling after would be so much worse than the one before.

When you think you are going to try your best,
but you didn't manage to, and it's only by such a small margin
and you don't even know what exactly went wrong in between,
it hurts so much.
Because it's the last time.

I don't know if I'm taking the results too seriously or what.
Even with 10points more, I would not be able to win anything still.
But it's not about winning anymore, it's about reaching to my potential as much as possible.
And not being able to do that is like losing.
And I hate to lose now.
I don't know if that's also why I screwed my last series.

But I can't do anything about it anymore.
And even if I know that, I can't stop thinking about it.

I don't know how long I need to get over it but this just sucks.
I don't even know why am I feeling this way, so disappointed and
have completely no mood to try and do anything else.
And as I think back I don't even know what was in my mind at that point of time.

Tonight is a sleepless night.
A night where slience is present like never before
because my mind is just as blank as a piece of paper.
But at different moments it just goes into a storm and everything's messed up,
flashes of lightnings just appear and gone in a second.

I need to wake up early later.
But tonight is a sleepless night,
and I don't give a damn to anything else anymore now.






Byeall.