What would have happened if I had asked like I wanted to?

Had been wanting to blog recently but always didn't manage to.
Either I just forgotten about it while using com or I was busy with other stuff.

And then the weekend's over again.

NAPFA test yesterday.
Emo.
SBJ get B.
249cm only.
And it's like just 3cm more to A,
and I jumped 255cm last year.
Did okay for all other categories though.
11pull-ups, just enough for A,
9.3s for shuttle run, should be satisfied, just 0.1s slower than my fastest timing in sec4.
But Freddy got the same timing as me again.
I got a feeling he always affect me when we run together -.-
And I was clearly the one faster but the timing recorded is the same. @#$!@#$%
48 sit-ups, a little more than required.
Should have just did 2 more to 50 anyway.
42cm, just enough for a C for sit n reach I think.
And I certainly hope so.
2.4km timing should be just nice for a C too.
All these would get me a Gold.
But I still want me jump to get A. T-T

So didn't do any work yesterday even after reaching home.
In fact I didn't feel like doing anything, anything, at all.
And so I basically did nothing throughout the whole day and night and whatever.
That's why I had to force myself to do some work today.
Did a little electrochem, then tried to do some GP at night.
Need to prepare for the Sci&Tech presentation which is kinda crap.
We didn't have a choice and kena Business Development,
and was still appointed to be the second to present.
Seems like we can only dump everything into the ppt tomorrow
and hopes everything goes well when we are suppose to present.

And so fast it's a already the last week of term2.
Crap.
2 more terms left.
Damn it.

4 more days.
I feel like I am just going to go school and survive 4days,
as usual, had been doing so for the past few weeks.
Really gotta do something during the holidays.

Sometimes I wonder, why is it that people in my class are so close to their CCA people,
and people in my CCA close to their class.
And that leaves me myself and I alone 'cause there are just people whom they are closer to even though we're friends too.

And then, would it have made a difference if we give it a try instead of giving it up?
If everytime we make a decision we regret about it in the future, why don't we just not do anything?
But does that help in anyway?
Won't you regret doing anything, having not achieve anything, just living your life without any significant happenings fifty years later?
In the end we all want to live our life to the fullest,
but we all have this fear.
This fear that forms the invisible wall stopping us from doing many things.
Far too many things that is enough to prevent us from living to the fullest.
Far too many things that could just make us scared of doing anything in the future.
Far too many things, so many that it doesn't even allow us to make a simple decision.

All we need is just some courage.

Please give me some courage, 'cause I really need it right now.





Byeall.