Developmental.

Past few days had been fine, more of Scouting stuff again.
Especially when it was just Founder's Day two days back.

And with that I hope for the worldwide and Singapore Scouting movement to flourish even more in the future, advancing with modern society, as well as for all brother Scouts and sister Guides to continue enjoying the Scouting and Guiding process; hopefully to discover more about themselves while doing so.

Had been long since I attended a Founder's Day Parade.
And it was definitely good going back to Ngee Ann just to witness that.
Could have been better though... 
Maybe I should have dropped by the rehearsals and up their standards; and also if only the new guy didn't bark around as if he's the boss.
Nevertheless, meeting went on smoothly, much better than I expected so it's good for now.

Good for now, but only having two Wednesday meetings before Job Week is not exactly the best situation we can be in; adding on to the fact that we won't have a Job Week Camp to work around with.

Times have changed.


Hope I'll be able to sort things out before Job Week; hopefully to have a realistic plan until at least June.
And then from June onwards we will be able to work things out towards NPC and stuff.
Yeah and NPC now automatically enters my mind after so much 'brainwashing' from the staff.

Wondering why am I doing so much now.

Especially so after reading Chandan's post.
Is it because I'm too free? Got nothing better to do?
I remembered since my days as the PLC, I've always regarded returning as a leader to support the Troop as a very natural thing for me to do in the future.
And thanks to people around me, whatever happened, I am just doing that right now.
I always thought that it would be a form of giving back to the Troop; it seems just like the correct thing to do considering how much Scouting has changed my life, and changed me as a person.

And at times I do wonder how would I be like now if I had not joined Scouting in secondary school.


The only answer is that my life would definitely be much, much different.
Not certainly to be different in a positive or negative way, but definitely a huge difference from now.
Even my army life would not had been the same.

But as I go along, sometimes it just seems that I'm doing things because of how much I would like to be in control of certain things and how much I would like to know about everything.

And this happens in army as well, and I'll always get people to update me of what's happening in camp all the time whenever I'm out of camp for various stuff.

And it sort of just stems from the distrust I have in people.
Not all people, just some people.
Or perhaps even most people; everyone except those I have a lot of trust in.

Sometimes I just cannot bear to let the others handle certain matters because of how I feel that I have to accomplish them by myself to ensure that things get done right.

Perhaps due to past experiences, not sure for what reasons too, but my mindset is somewhat fixed like this now.
Which is also why sometimes I prefer to do most things by myself and delegate tasks to people only when I know that there is almost 0% chance of screwing things up.


I got an idea.
And I will develop it myself, on my own, because it is my idea and if people don't bother finding out my idea I see no point in employing their help to develop it into a reality.
And should I need people's help I will seek it only after making sure that things get done remaining true to the idea and nothing goes wrong in any ways possible.
This make it sounds like I try to do everything to the best; then again it is not really the case and I do choose to mess things up all the time too.
Only the things which interest me I'll like to do well in.

Sounds like perfectionism; even more so when you factor in how perfectionism can breed procrastination because perfectionists tend to not start on their work until they can be 100% sure that they can do it perfectly.

And with this flaw things will almost never get done because there's almost never a perfect moment to start doing things perfectly.
You just have to start.
Learn to pick things up; as well as letting go.
Bad habit which I am trying to kick and am still trying.
But the most common example which relates to me, sketching, is something I've yet to done in ages.
And then I'll use Scouting and whatever as an excuse.
That is when I realize I'm still doing it.
I'm just so-called waiting for the right time to sketch, even if I have the inspirations and ideas on what I want to get out of it.
And that's why, things never get done.

It might just be due to that, or other reasons, but it is really convincing me that art is not something for me.
And all these thoughts and thinking and various other stuff are just persuading me to go on with Psychology, even towards the path of being a Psychologist and not just a typical undergraduate with a bachelor's degree in Psychology seeking a typical office job.

Woah. 
How much have I strayed already.

Still gotta wake up early later on so perhaps I should leave everything else for another time...
Should really go to bed soon.

Gonna ball again later on, hopefully it will be a damn good session.
My shooting definitely got to improve man.

Need to go for interview on Monday too, thankfully it's just at Eunos and not anywhere far far away in some place I've not been to.
Hopefully I can secure this not-too-bad job, if it's really as slack as what Andrew Justin said.
Flexible hours which pays well and what would allow me to focus on Scouting too.
Would be so much more awesome were I to have a laptop which I can use to work on during the time I have nothing to do.

Well before that, there's another assignment next week, short 6 days one just to keep myself occupied.
Kinda regret a little accepting it because now I find the need for that period of time to do more meaningful stuff.
Well but going to work couldn't hurt much too, and it certainly doesn't sound like an extremely tiring job anyways.
Not like the pay's anywhere good but hopefully I'll get something good out of it nonetheless.


Well shouldn't have much to talk about anymore.
I'll probably be back here again next week; unless I get so busy or tired or lazy.

Ohh something I've forgot to mention, just want to say that this weekend is probably the first in this year which I've not gone out for Scout-related purposes.
Well I did go for Scout meeting on Friday but at least the Sat and Sun is untouched.
From what I remember, every other weekends had been used for meetings, camps, other Scout-related activities and such.
Not too sure abt CNY but I think I remember still having such meeting or what either on Mon or Tues, which is an extension of the weekend anyway.
I really wonder, if not on Scouting, where would all these time had gone to.










Byeall.